


Shadows of the Exalt

by katriona_subasa



Series: Heroes of Shadow [3]
Category: Fire Emblem, Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Backstory, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2018-10-18 15:39:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 48,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10619970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katriona_subasa/pseuds/katriona_subasa
Summary: Everyone knows about the Ylisse-Plegia War. It devastated the two countries, and the echoes of its scars burned the countries again fifteen years later, during Exalt Emmeryn's reign. But what really happened? What happened to end the war so quickly, so suddenly? This is the story of the last five months of the war, and the tale of the 'hero' who would always be condemned.(Backstory to Awakening)





	1. Chapter 1) The Holy Swordsman

Chapter 1) The Holy Swordsman 

* * *

Blood ran through the sand, marking strange dark crimson blotches that were soon covered up by fresh sand, kicked up by running and falling soldiers. Sand was the bane of most armies. Most soldiers couldn't keep their footing, and horses were even worse off. 

"Cavaliers, keep on the less sandy ground so that your movement isn't hampered! Remember that the enemy is better at fighting in these conditions than you. Don't give them any more advantages." 

Feathers fell from the sky as the pegasus knights fought overhead, from the newer recruits, to our prized Falcon Knights, who killed with one hand and healed with the other. Flying healers were our key advantage in most battles, particularly since we had a greater supply of healing staves. 

"Fliers, remember to rely on your speed! Wyverns are slow, and cannot turn quickly. Again, stop giving the enemy advantages. They don't need it." 

In the desert, mages and fliers ruled the field, because the sand didn't bother them as much. Unfortunately, they had not only mages, but _dark_ mages, with spells that could actually devour our own, and curses that did who the hell knew. But arrows took them down quickly enough. They wore no armor, after all. 

"Mages and archers, coordinate your strikes so that there is a constant barrage. Don't let up for anything, and make sure to cover the entire field." 

A bit of movement caught my attention, and I looked up to see an axe user clumsily charging for me. I sidestepped them easily, and cut them down in one smooth motion. It was an easy kill. They were young, reckless, and had worn little armor. So, they hit the sand, making it poof up a little even, and their blood ran through, just like the others I'd killed. 

"Someone check to make sure there's not a hole in our defensive line," I called, maintaining my air of calm. I'd been shouting orders all day for the soldiers, and they depended on me as their leader to _keep_ cool when everything was chaotic. "That's the fourth one that's gotten to me, and if they can get to me, they can get to the clerics." 

Something grabbed my ankle, so weakly that I thought I'd just stepped in a hole in the sand. But when I glanced down, I saw the axe user I'd slashed had snatched my ankle. They tried to pull it out from under me, but they had too little strength already. All they managed was that weak grip, and so, instead, they turned their face up towards me. 

"Why…?" they rasped, blood pouring out of their mouth. Tears streamed down their face as they looked up at me with such raw anger, hatred, and despair. "Why do this…? Why attack us…? Why…?" 

I brought my sword down on their skull, driving the point through so that they couldn't say anything more. One eye had been ruined by the blow, the other was intact, and it stared at me accusingly, even as the life faded from it. 

It was… it was to save the world. I had to believe that. It was the only way I was getting through this war. 

* * *

_Ylisse and Plegia have never gotten along. Ylisse worshiped Naga, the god of light and rebirth, while Plegia worshiped Grima, god of destruction and darkness. Still, even with that, the two nations existed in harmony. The world needed both light and darkness to survive, after all, and both needed each other to exist. There were even superstitions of how if one fell, the other would before long. Equal and opposite, living in harmony._

_That all changed about two years ago. A spy who managed to infiltrate the inner circle of the Grimleal brought back horrible knowledge, at the cost of his own life. Plegia was actively trying to resurrect Grima, and they had almost succeeded. They had their Vessels, and now, they just needed one final piece._

_Adair, the Exalt, struggled on how to deal with this knowledge. He sent messengers, to ask King Bran of Plegia about this, but all the messengers were returning in pieces, one after another. The nobles and people burned in anger over this breach in diplomacy and so, finally, Adair declared war and launched an assault, using Themis as his launching point. Thus, the Ylisse-Plegia war began, and dragged on for two very, very long years…_

* * *

I breathed a sigh of relief as I stepped inside the inner gates of the castle, relaxing. I was home. I was back in Ylisstol. I was inside the castle, with it's soft white marble walls, and soothing colors of blues and golds. The sounds rushing around were just of servants and nobles heading to their next job, and not the sound of enemies trying to ambush. The air was blessedly cool instead of the dry, crippling heat of the desert. I wasn't splattered with itchy blood and itchier sand. I was home. Thank the gods and all that was holy. 

"Clar!" That little cry was the only warning I had as Chrom appeared from nowhere and barreled into my legs, looking up at me with a bright smile as I struggled to not fall on my butt. "You're back!" he cheered. "You're back! You're back! You're back!" 

"Yes, I'm back," I laughed, bending down to pick him up. I grunted as I did, since he was heavier than I remembered. I couldn't believe he was almost four years old. "Did you get bigger again?" 

"Yep!" He grinned and wrapped his arms around my neck. "Mama says so, anyway." 

"Mama also says you shouldn't run in the halls, Chrom," Emm scolded as she walked into the big open entrance hall. She held herself with more dignity than an nine-year-old should have, but then she tripped over nothing, and she sulked. "Oh, I'd hoped to impress you, Clara, with how elegant I'd become." 

"I'll be more impressed with a hug, Emm," I teased, shifting Chrom to one arm and holding out the other. "You've got years to learn how to be elegant, Emm. There's no need to force yourself." 

"But I want to be like Mama and you as soon as I can." She still rushed over for the hug, though. "I'm glad you're back. It doesn't feel like our family is whole without you." 

"Now you're philosophizing." I grinned and poked her forehead, right where her Mark was. "Relax. Be a kid." 

"But…" She sighed, but instantly perked up. "Oh, guess what, guess what!" 

"Hmm?" 

"Baby!" Chrom exclaimed, laughing. He squeaked and tried to hide as Emm pouted at him. "What?" 

"Baby?" I repeated, confused now. Both of them simply grinned. "What exactly do you two mean by that?" 

"They mean I'm pregnant with my third child, Clara." Candance and Adair walked in then, gesturing to the guards in a silent 'leave us be'. Chrom immediately wriggled out of my arms to go to his father, while Emmeryn shyly ducked behind her mother's skirts. "Oh, now you two are going to be shy," she teased, eyes sparkling. "What am I to do with you two?" She giggled, and came over to hug me. "Welcome home, Clara. I'm so glad to see you." 

"Glad to be home, Candace," I replied, hugging her back. I smiled slightly when I noticed she was wearing the diamond earrings I'd given to her as a wedding gift. "Did you know I was coming back today?" I pulled away and pointed to the earrings. "Otherwise, that's a happy coincidence." 

"It's no coincidence. I wear them every day that you are away, as a prayer that you will return as you always do." She smiled sweetly, fiddling with them. Her wedding ring caught the light then, and my smile widened as I took in how well they matched the earrings. I'd done that on purpose, but I was always a little pleased by it. "You were delayed a bit." 

"We got ambushed right on the border. Nothing I couldn't handle, of course." 

"Of course, Holy Swordsman!" Adair popped over then, and gave me a one-armed hug. He held Chrom with the other. "I'm glad you've returned, sister," he told me, smiling. 'Sister' was our old joke. He and I weren't related, by a long shot, but we were childhood friends. When he tried to court Candace, she'd been under the impression that he and _I_ were dating, and that resulted in a huge laugh of how ridiculous the notion was, to the point that he called me 'sister' to prove the point. "So, report now or later?" 

"Now, if you can get Chrom to let you go," I teased. He sighed mournfully, and Chrom clung a little, sulking. Chrom was very attached to his father, and Adair spoiled Chrom silly. "Now, is it just me or is he looking more like you every day? Heaven help him." 

"Hey!" Adair sulked, mirroring Chrom's expression perfectly, and Candace and I laughed. "You're both turning against me! That's not fair!" 

"Oh, relax, you big baby." I grinned and crouched down to look at Emm, who smiled back, giggling. "Emm looks like she'll take after Candace, thankfully." 

"Clara!" Adair sulked more, and the rest of us laughed at him, and laughed more when he joined in. 

Moments like this were what I lived for, and what I fought for. I loved coming home. 

* * *

"So, we're slowly making our way through to their capital," Adair murmured. He and I were in his office, with me delivering my report with my normal air of professionalism: sitting sideways in a chair because screw being proper. "We're not far?" 

"We made it to Midmire, just west of the capital, before the rains flooded us and I called for a retreat," I replied. I groaned, thinking of how much we'd lost because of the damn floods. So many people… "We'll need a different route." 

"Damn it." He sighed, resting his face in his hands. "We only tried to western approach because they'd blocked the eastern and northern." 

"Please don't remind me." I sighed, tilting my head back as I remembered that. They'd _exploded_ the eastern road to keep up from approaching in that direction, and the north had such a large defensive line that we'd lose half our force just approaching. "Well, there's always the south?" 

"I'll send the scouts out for another path." Adair sighed again. "Still, it seems like we have more victories than defeats, and we have a large amount of our army still intact. I was right to send you to the frontlines." Adair smiled wanly at me. "It gives the troops morale, and you're far more skilled than I am at fighting." 

"That's because you've been doing desk work ever since you became Exalt, while I got to continue to train." I swung my legs around so that I was sitting properly in the chair. "We knew that would happen when your dad died. That's why I kept training." I'd trained to be his bodyguard, after all. Someone had to keep him safe. "Anyway, must we talk of war? I've done nothing but war for the past few months." 

"I think at this point, sure." His smile warmed. "Thank you as always, Clara. My Holy Swordsman." 

"I still can't believe they're calling me that, now." I groaned, thinking of when I'd _gotten_ that title. I'd done a reckless charge at a Grimleal, and the charge had been enough to throw the caster off, causing his spell to miss me entirely. Instead of attributing it to dumb luck, the soldiers had called it 'divine grace'. "Damn the one who termed it." 

"I think it suits you, especially since you always wear silver and white armor." 

"At your insistence. I thank you so much, by the way, for the 'shoot me now' armor." 

"And a dark blue cape." 

"At Candace's insistence. Because capes are awesome or something." I glowered at him, and he just grinned. It was an old argument. "Whatever." I sighed, and smiled at him. "No more war talk. So, what's this I hear about a baby?" 

"Ah, yes, Candace is pregnant again." He smiled softly, laughing a bit. I knew my own smile grew sad, though. Growing up, he had always hoped to be a father to his kids, but his dad's early death meant he didn't have as much time for them as he'd like. "Our third child… I hope they'll be happy." His smile fell and he glanced out the window. I knew he wasn't seeing Ylisstol, but Plegia. "I… this war has to end before their birth. I don't want them born into a war. It pains me enough that Emm and Chrom must live through one." 

"So, you need me to end the war in… what? Nine months?" 

"Seven. She's two months in." He gave me a wan smile. "Think you can do it?" 

"I'll have it done in five, just for you." I grinned, even though we both knew how empty the boast was. War was an untameable beast, and had dragged on for two long years. If it ended in five months, it would be a damn miracle. "I am, after all, your miracle worker." 

"You are indeed." He managed to smile back, but both of our cheer faded. "Though, I won't have you do it alone. I'll do what I can here." He paused, glancing up at the ceiling in thought. "Think I can use this victory as a foothold to sending another messenger?" 

"You're still doing that?" I sighed, giving him an exasperated look. "You've been sending them for two damn years, and the answer is always the same. Our messenger dead, the letters unopened and soaked in blood." 

"I know, but still, I have to _try_ , Clara!" He slammed his fist on his desk, glowering. His temper had flared up again. "I have to! This war is just bleeding us both dry and, damn it, I'm tired…" He trailed off as I continued to simply look at him and he sighed, drooping. It was far more effective than yelling back, staring. "I know. You're even more tired than I am. You never did like fighting, for all that you loved the exercise." 

"I am a warrior, a knight of Ylisse, and your best friend." I smiled gently at him. "I will see you through your path, Adair. All the way to the end." 

"I know. I'm grateful for it." He smiled back. "But still…" 

"Do what you want, but let's make sure it's someone good at dodging, and do our best to prep them." 

"Of course." His smile grew. "Thank you, Clara." 

"Always, Adair. Always." 

* * *

_Information on Clara, the Holy Swordsman of Ylisse:_

_A childhood friend of Exalt Adair, she is a commoner who worked her way up through the ranks to become a general, and the personal bodyguard of the Exalt. A genius with a sword._

_She's close to the entire royal family, with Queen Candace viewing her as a sister, and Princess Emmeryn and Prince Chrom looking to her as an aunt._

_Blonde haired and red eyed, she wears distinctive white and silver armor, paired with a blue cape, to all battles. Both the armor and the cape were personal gifts from the royal family._

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: Welcome to Shadows of the Exalt, a story about the last few months of the Ylisse-Plegia war mentioned in Awakening's backstory, which set the stage for the first arc's conflict. This story's focus will be a little different from the others, mostly because of the subject matter, and will also be shorter compared to the others (about 20ish chapters), so fair warning on that. Also, fair warning, this is not going to be a happy story, as can be guessed based off of what's known in Awakening. You've been warned. 
> 
> Now there were no names for… most background characters, so I chose some. Adair is the Exalt, Chrom and Emmeryn's father, and Candace is his wife, currently pregnant with Lissa (I.e. Lissa isn't born yet). Clara, our POV char, is Adair's right hand, serving a role similar to Frederick. 
> 
> Next Chapter - Pieces 


	2. Chapter 2) Pieces

Chapter 2) Pieces 

* * *

We sent the messenger off, and waited a week. Once a week had passed, we sent a team of scouts. Two weeks after we sent her off, our messenger returned. In pieces. At least this time, we had most of the body recovered. The last one had only returned as a hand. 

"Wake up! Wake up!" Still, seeing her little sister sob, and desperately try to 'wake up' her dead sister, not noticing or ignoring how there was a noticeable 'gap' where the head should've met the neck. "Please, wake up!" Rot and scavengers had set in, though we'd used magic to keep the body as intact as possible, and to reduce the smell. "Please!" 

I lingered in the shadows, watching it all. It was just the sister and the mother this time. While the sister vainly tried to get her sister to open her eyes, the mother screamed at Adair. More than screamed, even. She battered his shoulder and chest with small punches. I kept a careful eye, but still kept my distance. I would have to step in if it looked like she was going to do real damage, but something like this, I didn't intervene with. Adair had asked me to, knowing that sometimes, you really needed to hit something when grieving. He didn't mind being that something. 

"Why?! Why did you send her to die?!" the mother sobbed as she finally stopped hitting Adair, simply resting her fists against her chest. Tears streamed down her face, though it was hard to see because her head was bowed. "Why?!" She hit him one more time, this time hard enough to make him wince. He held up a hand to stop me from intervening, and I nodded, staying in the shadows. "Say something, damn it!" 

"Is there anything I can say that will ease your pain?" Adair asked softly. He gently took her fists and removed them from him, cradling them in his. "I try to think of what I would like to hear, what would help me, but I'm drawing a blank. I have no excuses. I asked your daughter to perform a task, and it led to her death. I can think of no greater pain I've put you through." He let go of her hands, stepped, back, and bowed to her. "Whatever I can do or say to help, simply tell me." 

"...Just end this war." The woman covered her face, anger deflating. Her sobs echoed through the room, and her hands did nothing to hide her tears. "Just end this stupid, gods' damned war!" 

"I intend to do that, as soon as I can." Adair moved to her side, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Why don't you have some tea? Candace makes a wonderful cup, and I'm sure you have a headache by now." 

"My daughter…" She looked to her youngest, and now only, daughter, who now was simply wailed into her sister's dead chest. "I…" 

"Clara is here." At his words, I stepped out of the shadows and bowed to her. "I promise; no harm will come to your daughter. She is my strongest warrior, and the person I trust most." 

"I'll stay here for as long as your daughter needs," I promised, smiling gently. "Candace really does make the best tea, though. Knowing her, she's probably got a pot ready, just for you." The mother hesitated a bit more before nodding slowly. "Adair, don't go far. If the girl wants her mom, I want to be able to reach you quickly." 

"We'll be just two doors down, where there's a bit more light," Adair promised. That made the mother smile a bit, clearly relieved she wouldn't be far. "Come on then, ma'am. Would you also like anything to eat?" He gently led her out of the room, and I went over to the body, crouching down next to it. 

I reached up and brushed the hair out of her face, careful to tuck the hair back so that it wasn't obvious she was still missing an ear. The face was bloated, though better than before, thanks to the healers. I didn't know how they managed to 'erase' parts of the decomposition process, but I also knew it wouldn't last long. By the end of the day, their magic would have worn off, and the process would redouble. But, for now, she was recognizable, and her family could actually look at the body. 

The families really wanted to do that. I was glad we had something to show them, this time. 

"Thank you for your service," I whispered. I then repeated the phrase in broken Ancient Ylissean, since there was an old story that the dead could more easily hear those words because they weren't used as much anymore. I barely knew the words, though. It was the stuff for nobles, and while Adair had tried to teach me, I simply had no head for languages. But, for the dead, I tried. I owed them it. 

"W-what was that?" the sister asked. She lifted her head from her sister's chest, and I moved over next to her, so that she didn't have to look over the corpse to see me. "What did you say?" 

"I was simply thanking her," I replied. I smoothed her hair from her face, noting how similar the two looked. "That's all. What's your name?" 

"Ph-Phila…" She hiccuped, tears clinging to her cheeks. No more fell, though. She likely had cried herself out. "M-my sister… did she do good?" 

"...Yes, she did." I ran my hand through her hair, and let her rest against my chest. "Your sister was a brave, kind, and talented woman. That was why we asked her. I'm sorry we took her from you." 

"But she did good? She was…" 

"Yes. She was braver than anyone, and a kind soul." I hugged Phila, and looked down at the messenger. Maya was her name. I remembered that. Dame Maya, who agreed to the task with a kind smile. She had known the chances of her surviving were low. We had made no secret of it. But the chance, _the chance_ , that we could end this war now, with no more bloodshed… _the chance_ that this war would end before her sister took up arms… that had been enough. That had been worth risking her life. That had been worth courting death. 

I just wished Death wasn't so possessive a lover. 

* * *

After Adair comforted the mother, he made a point to spend some time with Phila, wiping her tears and even managed to get a watery laugh out of her. He then told both of them that Maya would be buried with _full_ honors, the highest honor we could give the dead, and that he'd pay for the funeral personally. He left the preparations to them, though, at the mother's request, since it was more of a familial thing. He agreed, of course, but told them that if they needed any help, he would make sure they had it. 

It was what he always did when messengers died. 

"I'd really hoped this time would be different," Adair sighed. He stood by the window in his study, looking out over the Ylisstol as the sun set. "Surely, they're as tired of war as we are…" 

"I suppose they just want to win and end the world," I replied. I sat in my usual chair, sprawled across. "How's the southern route looking?" 

"Last report stated that they're still checking, but as far as they know, the only viable path will lead you straight through the Dragon's Table." 

"The headquarters of the Grimleal themselves." I paused, thinking. "Are the vessels there? Because if they are, we can end this just by storming the place and destroying them." 

"I'll put someone on that." He rested a hand on the glass, looking ready to cry. I dragged myself up and walked over, wondering what triggered that. I figured it out instantly; there was a funeral procession. "How many more have to die to save everything?" 

"I don't know." I really didn't. But after two years of war, our numbers were beginning to thin. We were losing soldiers faster than we could replace them. It took four years of training to replace _one_ pegasus knight, army mage, or cavalier. It took even longer to replace a Falcon Knight, Sage, Valkyrie, Paladin, or Great Knight. We were going through so many damn clerics, priests, war monks, and war clerics that the local temples were honestly worried that they'd have to stop lending them to us, as they'd only have the initiates left. "Hey, Adair?" 

"Yeah?" 

"There's this Feroxi mercenary I know, Flavia, from my patrols on the northern border. She's in good standing with the ruling Khan." I glanced at him, gauging his reaction. "I could get a message. Hire some more forces, or maybe even an alliance?" 

"I…" He groaned, leaning his head against the window. "I'm tempted, but I don't want to drag the whole continent into a war, Clara." 

"I understand." I didn't like it, but I could understand. It was the duty of Ylisse to safeguard the world from darkness. It was his duty in particular, since he was a descendant of the First Exalt, and the Hero-King himself. "I hope Falchion remains in the temple." 

"Hoping I won't one-up you in the field?" He tried to make it joking, but his smile was weak and his tone was soft. We both knew I was the stronger of us, and he simply didn't have the time to both run the country and fight the war. 

Still, I decided to take it seriously. "They're only getting to Ylisstol through me." I gripped his shoulder reassuringly. "And _you_ are going to stay here and direct all the war efforts, doing the things I can't so that I _can_ do what I can." 

"I…" He sighed, shaking his head before reaching up and resting his hand on mine. "No, you're right. I can wield Falchion, but I should take all the steps needed to ensure that I do not _need_ to wield it. For everyone's sake." 

"It's bad enough on Emm and Chrom." I was often away now. Adair and Candace had their duties. No one was really around to play with them anymore, but still, they smiled. I wanted them to always smile. "Besides, think of how much of a tragedy it would be if you never got to see your youngest." 

"Very true, but you better stay alive to see their birth too." He gave me a playfully stern look and I laughed. "I mean it. They need to be spoiled by their 'aunt' too." 

"Yes, yes." I almost continued, but the door suddenly squeaked and I whirled, hand dropping to my sword. I almost pulled it out, but then I realized who the intruder was: Chrom. 

"Daddy!" Chrom called, toddling over as fast as he could. Adair scooped him up easily, lifting him high above his head before safely tucking him against his chest. "Play?" 

"I…" Adair began. He paused, though, making a face. There was work to be done, but he wanted to spend time with his son. There was a war to fight, but he didn't want his son to feel unloved. "Well…" 

"Let's talk later, Adair," I suggested, stopping his internal debating. He gave me the most grateful look. "I need a break too. Maybe nap or something. I actually have a _bed_ here. I might as well use it." 

"Thanks." Adair smiled down at Chrom and kissed the top of his head. Chrom giggled and hugged him tightly. "Now, then, what do you want to play? Would you like to go for a ride?" 

"Don't go too far, now, I'm not with you." I poked Chrom's cheek to make him squirm and headed out the room, waving as I did. I made sure to shut the door behind me, as a subtle clue to the servants. 'Only disturb if there is an emergency.' They knew how much Adair loved his family, and how rarely he got to spend time with them now. 

"Oh! Clara!" Right on cue, though, Emm appeared, rushing over. She tripped on her hem and sulked a little as she took my hand. "Do you want to walk in the gardens with Mama and me? You've been away so much…" 

"That sounds wonderful," I replied. I squeezed her hand and started down the hallway, towards the gardens. Emm smiled brightly and followed closely. "Do you want to play a game while we're out there?" 

"Well, Mama isn't allowed to run around, so no tag, but maybe hide and seek?" 

"We'll discuss it with Candace and see if she can." I remembered how frail her health became when she was pregnant with Chrom. We'd have to be careful. "But even if she can't, she can watch while you and I play." 

"Yay!" Emm giggled and smiled even brighter. "I love you, Clara!" 

"Love you too, Emm." 

* * *

Hide and seek went on until Candace tired, and then, Emm and I played tag while Candace watched and laughed. When Emm tired, we went inside to the solar, where Emm curled up in front of the fireplace for a nap. Candace and I decided to have a snack together, since it would still be some time before official dinner, but she was craving, and I never said 'no' to food. 

"Ah, thanks for eating with me," Candace murmured. She smiled shyly as she sipped her tea. We were both sitting at her table, not far from where Emm napped, just relaxing now that the servants had cleared out the plates. "I always feel bad, bothering the cooks." 

"That's why you send _me_ to bother them instead!" I teased, laughing as I nursed my wine. I enjoyed a cup whenever I was home, especially since it was so hard to keep _good_ wine out in the field. "Want a sip?" 

"You know I don't drink even when I'm _not_ pregnant." She huffed and I grinned. "You're just teasing me some more." 

"Of course. It's my job to make sure you don't get too full of yourselves. Why do you think I prod Adair all the time?" 

"Because you're a mean person we happen to love." 

"Eh, true." My grin grew and she laughed. "So, how _are_ you doing? Baby wise, I mean. Anything unusual?" 

"If anything, I'm bearing this one better than Emm and Chrom." She rested a hand on her stomach, smiling softly. "Oh, little one… I wonder if things will be peaceful when you're born." 

"Hey, I'll end the war in five months!" I made my voice as dramatic as possible and she giggled. "More seriously, Adair and I will do what we can, Candace. I'd rather you deal with your last few months of pregnancy with as little stress as possible." 

"I love you." Her smile warmed. "Oh, yes, do you have ideas about what their name should be? You named Emmeryn and Chrom, after all." 

"That's because you and Adair suck at naming things." I shuddered dramatically. "I mean; if I didn't intervene, Emm would've been named _Clara_!" 

"I don't see anything wrong with naming one of our children after you." She sulked, puffing out her cheeks even. "But _no_ , you think there's something off!" 

"Can you imagine the confusion? We had enough problems when you named that cat after Adair." I paused for a brief moment before cackling at the memory. "The servants seriously thought he'd knocked up ten girls!" 

"It's not my fault kitty-Adair turned out to be a ladies' tom." She stuck her tongue out and I continued to giggle, remembering. It had been a sad day when kitty-Adair had passed, though he'd had a long and happy life. And one filled with lots of cat sex, given the number of kittens he ended up having. We employed most as mousers. "But I concede your point, _if_ you pick out names again." 

"This is just your roundabout way of saying you want me to be the godsparent again." I pouted and she laughed. "Fine." I took a big gulp of wine, and swirled the remainder in my glass as I thought. "Well, why not 'Lissa' for a girl? You can make it short for Melissa or something, but Lissa sticks out." 

"Lissa?" Her eyes sparkled and she glanced at her stomach. "Maybe I should wish for a girl. I really do like that name." 

"Should I even think of a boy's name?" 

"Well, yes!" She sulked a brief moment before laughing. "Ah, I always miss these talks when you're away. Adair never banters with me." 

"That's because you two are too busy complimenting each other and being like 'you are the cutest', 'no, _you_ are the cutest' nonsense." I rolled my eyes and took another big gulp of wine. "Drives a woman to drink, that." 

"You just enjoy alcohol." 

"I _appreciate_ alcohol, thank you very much." I grinned. "Sure you don't want a sip? It's a good vintage." 

"No!" She glowered for a second before sighing. "Oh, whatever. Let me be serious." 

"If you can." 

"Quiet." Her cheer faded slightly. "You're family, you know?" 

"Yes?" I gave her a confused look. "I know?" 

"Good. My husband's precious sister, and mine as well. Emm and Chrom's aunt. I want this child to know their aunt too." She smiled sweetly as she placed her hands on her stomach again. "So, please, be careful out there, will you? I know I always say it, but..." 

"I'll do what I can, Candace. But I have no intentions of dying." I grinned. "Death isn't _my_ lover, for all it likes to court me." 

"No, it seems war is, while death wishes for you to have an affair." 

"Who could blame me, with so sucky a spouse?" I grinned, laughing a little. The words were more morbid, but this was an old game. Candace would try to encourage me to court someone, and I'd laugh it off. I was too busy to give someone the attention they deserved in a relationship, and whoever I'd get with would have to understand that they would always be second in my heart. That wasn't really fair to someone. Besides, I was perfectly content with my life, war aside. 

Sudden pounding footsteps was all the warning we got before the doors burst open, revealing a page. "Lady Clara!" they cried. I mimed for them to quiet down, glancing worriedly at Emm. But she remained asleep. "My apologies, but this is important." They bowed quickly, yet respectively, to Candace before focusing completely on me. "It's the Plegians!" Everything froze at the words. "They're assaulting the border!" 

"Damn them," I growled, wondering how they got to the border. There were supposed to be defensive outposts. Did they go around or kill them all? "Gather my elites and tell them to prepare at once. We'll leave within the hour." I stood up quickly, nearly knocking the table over. My hands shook a bit, thinking rapidly. There were two border areas with Plegia: Themis and Prosa. Duke Themis had a newborn daughter from what I understood, not even a year old, and Duke Prosa had three kids, two sons and a daughter. I knew the daughter, Soiree, as one of Chrom's very few friends. "The rest will follow us, no more than a day behind, and I'd prefer half-a-day if possible." I had to protect both. I had to keep them all safe. "Tell Adair at once." 

"Of course, my lady!" They saluted me, gave Candace another respectful bow, and bolted down the hall, not even bothering to close the door. 

"...You're leaving again…" Candace whispered. Her expression crumpled. "You've only been back for two weeks, and yet…" 

"I'll be back before you know it," I reassured. I walked around the table, hugged Candace tightly, and kissed the top of her head. "You just rest. You're need your strength for the baby." I moved to Emm, kissed her cheek, and moved the blanket a bit higher on her. She still didn't stir. "Tell her I'm sorry for not saying a proper goodbye? I _will_ be back soon." 

"I will. I'll tell Chrom and Adair too, if they don't see you first." Candace still looked ready to cry. "Why did this all happen?" 

"Someone wants the world to end." I gave her another hug, not wanting to leave her looking so sad. But I had no choice. "I'm off!" I darted out the room and down the hall, thinking of what I'd _absolutely_ need for a battle on the border. 

They weren't getting anywhere near here. Not while I breathed. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: I mentioned format would be slightly different, and this is kinda what I meant. Very few, if any, chapters will have an opening journal, or notes at the end. Soiree is Sully's Japanese name, and her birth name in this series, with Sully being a nickname. There is no name attached to her family and holdings, so I picked Prosa, but her having older brothers is revealed in her supports. 
> 
> Next Chapter - Borderlands 


	3. Chapter 3) Borderlands

Chapter 3) Borderlands 

* * *

No matter how serious the issue, or how many lives might be at stake, it was simply a fact of life that people needed to rest. It was also a fact of life that my Elite, while skilled and loyal, were a little less zealous than I was and, therefore, less inclined to push themselves to their limits as I was. I couldn't fault them for that. There were few as devoted to this cause as me, because I was one of the few who knew _everything_. Adair had purposely hidden the true reason, Plegia bringing back Grima, in order to avoid inciting a panic and riot, which could cost not only Ylissean lives, but the lives of Plegian civilians. 

War was a matter for soldiers. It was bad enough that war must inflict sorrow and fear on civilians. There was no need to inflict death on them as well. 

"My lady, we're at the village." The gentle voice dragged me from my thoughts, and I smiled wryly at my guide. David. His name was David. He was originally from a neighboring village, before bandits had torched it. Ylissean Knights had saved him and his little sister, and he'd became a 'Ward of the Court', orphans raised in the castle with the minor expectation that they'd serve when older. His sister was a seamstress, and he had become a knight. "My lady, I know I'm handsome, but much more staring will make me blush," he teased. I simply laughed, shaking my head. "Are you alright?" 

"It's nothing, really," I reassured. It wouldn't due to burden my soldiers will all my worries. "I'm simply sad I couldn't say a better goodbye to Emm and Chrom." 

"Princess Emmeryn is always so child-like around you. It's funny." David grinned. "She tries so hard to be proper, but then you're around, and it's like she's back to being five." 

"Well, I do encourage her childishness." I thought it was also Emm wanting to pack in months worth of play in a few days. I was gone so often now and, though it had been two years, she wasn't used to it. She was used to being able to drag me along for games and stories at any time. "I hope someone is playing with Chrom. He's only four." I wished I could spend more time with him. "Ah, but I'm getting distracted. I can handle greeting the locals on my own, if you wish to visit your own." 

"I visited not long ago, and I don't want to bother the dead." David's grin faded slightly. "Might visit the old Taguel warren, or, rather, the remains of their home. I didn't have time to do that, last time." 

"Ah, the Taguel…" I winced, as I always did. When I'd been much younger, I'd heard about the Hunts. Adair and I had been horrified, disgusted by his father's quite approval, and swore to create a world where no one would suffer like that again. A world where, maybe one day, Taguel could live alongside humans again. "If only we had more time so I could go with you…" A thought occurred to me, and I hunted through my packs, eventually finding a small, silver pendant in the shape of a starburst. It was a habit of mine, to leave them in places ravaged by war. A starburst to light their way, and silver to ward off evil spirits. It was an old superstition, and I had no idea if it worked, but I lost nothing with trying. "Will you leave this with them?" 

"Yeah, I can do that." David recognized it instantly as he took it. After all, I'd left one at his village too, and it hung there to this day. "Shame I can't show Panne." 

"Panne?" 

"A Taguel girl I befriended. She was curious about human superstitions." He shook his head. "Well, no matter. I'll be late, likely." 

"Take your time, but be back before dawn tomorrow. Unfortunately, we're still a hard day's ride from the border still." 

"I will, my lady!" He saluted and scampered off. I watched him leave, and then continued into the village alone. We made camp nearby, so it was only polite that I come to greet them. It was also good for picking up gossip, and to make sure we didn't offend. 

A little boy caught sight of me instantly, and rushed away, screaming about how the 'Holy Swordsman' was here. In times like this, I supposed it paid to wear such recognizable armor and cape. By the time I made it to the town square, the Town Elder was already here to greet me. 

"Welcome to our humble town, Holy Swordsman," he greeted, smiling at me. The way his wrinkles deepened hinted he smiled often, and his twinkling eyes told me he was in a good mood. I was glad for it. "I am Victor, the elder here. What brings you here, though? We're quite out of the way." 

"Unfortunately, war is what brings me near," I answered lightly, keeping a polite smile on my face. "And worse, I am only part of the first wave. We head to the border to bolster the defenses there." 

"Is that so?" His smile faded slightly. "Do you need accommodations?" I could tell that it was just politeness. His town simply wasn't big enough to house us. 

So, I laughed, and shook my head. "No, no, but if you do not mind letting mine visit your town, I'm certain we'll be glad to buy out your tavern!" I winked and startled a laugh out of him. "Hide your good stuff unless you're willing to part with it. We've only had time to snag some weak wine for the road." 

"I shan't get in the way of a soldier and their drink!" He laughed again, and his smile returned. "Ah, this war is so odd, but I trust Exalt Adair knows what he is doing and did not make the decision likely." I recognized this for what it was: fishing for more information. It was times like this I did wish Adair shared more with his people. It would hurt to trust them as they did him. 

But, he didn't, and so, I shook my head. "I am afraid that all I can share is that we received troubling information, tried to get answers for it from Plegia, and have a long string of slaughtered messengers for our troubles. We lost another just a week or so ago." 

"I see." He nodded, accepting that I would not say more. "Well, perhaps you can talk of what is going on in the capital, and what I need to prepare my people for?" 

"Gladly." I smiled again, and this time, it was warmer than before. "I'm all yours." 

* * *

During my 'exchanging information' session with Elder Victor, a woman by the name of Helen asked if we'd seen her son, Frederick. She looked near tears when we told her that we hadn't, so I'd asked for more information. He'd apparently gone into the forest to gather some herbs for her, and was long past due. I volunteered to go look for him, and was startled by how startled _she'd_ been at my offer before she thanked me profusely. 

I absently kicked a rock on the path, reflecting on what Elder Victor had told me about Helen and her past. I hadn't asked, but he'd felt obligated to share, for some reason, though it did go a long way to explain why she'd been startled by my offer to help. She was a single mother, unmarried, who had taken up with a passing soldier and gotten pregnant. For her own reasons, she had chosen to keep the baby, despite the social stigma that would be thrown at her for having a child out of wedlock. Most of the villagers ignored her, and her son. Elder Victor was one of the few who didn't. 

I pushed some branches out of my way, continuing down the path through the forest while brooding. I wondered if I should bring it up to Candace, to see if Helen and her son could move to the capital. The capital tended to be kinder on single mothers than villages on the border, but it was expensive. If Candace sponsored her, though, she'd be able to move easily… 

A bird darted out of a nearby bush, making me jump. I watched it fly off and actually took the time to look around. I smiled when I did, though. Bright green trees rustled in the gentle wind. Warm sunlight shone through thick leaves, dappling the dirt path in front of me. The occasional insect chirruped, while the local chipmunks and squirrels darted past, long since used to humans. The air was cool, thanks to being so close to the mountains, and the babbling of a brook nearby practically laughed. It was so peaceful, truthfully. I was searching for a missing child, yet there didn't seem to be any cause to hurry. It felt like time itself was just lazing about, or that I had stepped into another world entirely, one where there was no war. 

One day… one day, all of Ylisse would be like this. No, the whole world would be. One day, the whole world would be as peaceful. Just a little more… 

A little more… I just had to fight a little more and… 

The wind gusted, and when it cleared, I was struck by the sudden silence. Even the rushing water seemed to have hushed. Frowning, I looked around, wondering if I should just get the hell out of here. I didn't notice any animals running, but if they'd all hidden, that generally meant that _something_ had happened to spook them. That something wasn't necessarily something I could handle. At the same time, there was a missing child, and I had my oaths. I was a knight of Ylisse, sworn to defend the people. That meant jumping into danger if there was a chance that someone needed my sword as their shield. 

So, I took off down the path, keeping an eye on the surrounding area. I swung myself over a few fallen logs and jumped over some roots in the path. A couple of pinecones actually fell from the trees and bounced off my shoulder, as if the trees were saying 'you are running the wrong way, idiot.' But at that point, I heard some low growls and what I _thought_ might be whimpering, so I kept on running, veering closer to the water, now large enough to be a stream, or maybe even a river. 

I stumbled to a stop, though, when I made it to the shore, due to a simple reason. There was a wolf trying to drag a child away, by the head. The child struggled, weakly, but the wolf just continued to drag them, leaving a literal blood trail in the sand from the child's other injuries. The situation was just so bizarre, since wolves _very rarely_ attacked people, and worse, with its jaws on the child's head, if I wasn't careful, it would just chomp down, and I knew wolves had a _very_ strong bite, especially when provoked. Enough to crush the child's skull? I had no idea. But I couldn't overlook that possibility. 

I deliberately took a step in the water, hoping to make it pause. Thankfully, the wolf did, looking at me with feral eyes and lowly growling. The child stopped struggling, and I prayed they hadn't died as I took a deliberate step forward, maintaining eye contact with the wolf. Predatory animals didn't like taking up 'challenges'. They liked to go after the weaker, prey they were certain they could catch. Someone who could fight back wasn't a sure bet. 

I brought up my arms, making myself seem a little bigger, and clapped loudly. "Drop it!" I yelled. Noise. Noise would frighten it away. I just wanted it gone. "Drop the child right now!" I wished I'd had any skill in arrows, but I'd devoted all my weapon training to swords. Swords didn't have a convenient long-range, unless I went for magical swords that I also sucked in. "You hear me?" So, I just had to intimidate the wolf, and pray this would work. 

The wolf stared at me for what felt like forever, and I maintained eye contact the whole time, though I longed to just rush it. Then, very slowly, the wolf let go of the child, nudged them towards me like 'fine, fine, here, you can have the pray', and loped off, disappearing into the trees almost instantly. 

I paused for a second, making sure it wasn't going to return, and then ran for the child, crashing down next to them as I hunted through my pack, glad that I was in the habit of always having it, and my medical kit, on hand. 

"Who…?" the boy whispered as I leaned over him, startling me. I hadn't thought he would be conscious with all the blood pooling around. "Are you…?" He blinked slowly, eyes completely unfocused, and tried to reach up for me. "An… angel…?" 

"No, I'm a knight of Ylisse," I told him. I struggled to bind up his injuries. They were _bad_. I could see bone. "You're not going to angels yet." At least, I wasn't going to let Death have him without a fight. "My name is Clara. What's yours?" 

"Fred…" He coughed up some more blood. "Frederick…" 

"Well, Frederick, you just focus on breathing. I'll save you. That's what knights do. We save and protect people." I just had to hope I wasn't giving away false hope and that I could get him to Helen. "Just stay with me. I have you. I won't let Death take you. That's a promise." 

Death took too many already, thanks to war. Surely, it was tired of having so many to gather, right? 

* * *

It was close. It was very close, far closer than I would've liked. But, thankfully, I'd had the foresight to bring a lot of healers with my group, and a message of 'child hurt, come quickly' put fire into even the tiredest of people. With five of them working together, and a few Recover staves, Frederick's injuries stitched together, and it was pronounced he'd eventually make a full recovery. Eventually. It would be a lengthy one, and he'd bear the scars for the rest of his life. 

"Thank you so much!" Helen sobbed. Fat tears streamed down her face, and she didn't even bother trying to hide them as we sat at the small table by her son's bed. "Thank you! I… I…" 

"Breath, ma'am," I urged, kneeling next to her. She'd been near hysterics when I brought Frederick back, and had held his hand during the whole procedure. Even when the healers had to cut into him. "It's my job to keep the people safe. I am sorry I did not find him sooner." 

"You found him and healed him. Everything else is…" She sniffed, hiccuping a little. "Frederick is all I have. My little light. He's always doing his best to make me smile, and he deserves better than me, but I love him with all my heart." She managed a smile that was both warm and bitter. "If he died, they might as well make two graves. I doubt I'll survive it…" 

"Now, don't tell your son that." 

"Oh, no, of course not. A child shouldn't have to bear their parent's life. They should be a child." Her smile warmed. "But, that is how I feel. Perhaps it'll ease when he's older and I don't have to be so protective, but people just say the most horrid things at him. For _my_ decision." A determined glint appeared in her eyes. "But I'll protect him. I'll protect him until he can stand on his own." 

"...When he's older, he can join the knights." I smiled slightly as she looked worried. "I know it costs a lot, but they do take in commoners. I'm one myself." 

"...That's right. I'd forgotten." She laughed a little, though thanks to the tears, it sounded watery. "The Holy Swordsman, a commoner who rose through the ranks… I'd be happy if Frederick could do something similar." She frowned suddenly. "...He'll need to know how to sew, though. Mend things. Well, he does like watching me knit, so I can teach him…" 

"Knitting might be a good way to keep him abed." I glanced over at Frederick, sleeping peacefully under a handmade quilt. I couldn't help but smile at it. Candace had made a similar one for Emm, and had pricked her fingers so much I feared she'd just have bandaged fingers forever. "Since he won't be able to run around for a while." 

"Very true…" Her eyes darkened. "What a vile wolf…" 

"That wolf actually troubles me for a different reason." I bit my lip, thinking. "It was a mountain wolf, and not a kind prone to wandering forests. Wolves don't normally attack people as well, unless threatened, but it didn't seem like Frederick had done that…" The wolf hadn't seemed rabid either… "I wonder if the war frightened it, or if a battle had destroyed its home and killed its pack..." I smiled bitterly at her and took her hands. "If that is the case, then I am afraid that I and my fellows are the real cause to your son's injuries. I'm so sorry." 

"No!" She shook her head roughly, roughly enough that the tears actually flew off her face, and she clutched my hands. "You saved him. I don't get much about this war, but I know that. You saved my son, and that's not something either of us will forget." 

"I'm glad I could help." My smile softened. "Oh, and if you need any medicines, write me how much it cost. I'll pay." 

"Oh, I couldn't-!" 

"Please, think of it as simply an extension of my saving him. It would be a tragedy if he died now because you couldn't afford medicine." I knew that the price of everything was climbing, but thankfully, I still had my own hefty paycheck, and many years of not spending it on anything. "Please?" 

"I… oh, very well." She sighed. "I'll lose the argument, I think. But I would like a way to thank you besides words…" Her eyes lit up suddenly and she pulled her hands from mine to wipe her face. "I know. How about I cook for you?" 

"Ma'am, I'll go to hell and back for a homecooked meal." I laughed, unable to help it. "I'll happily accept!" 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: In Frederick's supports with Panne, he reveals that he lived in a hilly village, and was attacked by a mountain wolf. It's pretty rare for a wolf to attack people, and there's mountains on the border between Plegia and Ylisse, so I'm using the general confusion and terror brought on by the war as a reason why the wolf suddenly attacked Frederick. 
> 
> There is no real mention of 'when' Panne's warren died, and her supports have a few contradictions, so I picked a time during Chrom's Grandfather's reign, so when Adair and Clara would've been kids. 
> 
> Fun fact about wolves - their 'typical' bite force is around 400 pounds, give or take, but if provoked, that number can apparently rocket up to 1200 pounds. 
> 
> Next Chapter - Resolve 


	4. Chapter 4) Resolve

Chapter 4) Resolve 

* * *

The border guards greeted me with cheerful relief, and they practically started crying as the healers took charge of their wounded. I tried to get information from them, but they were near incoherent thanks to how tired they were, so instead, I focused on building their morale. I spoke to them individually, listening as they babbled about their families and homes. I smiled as they did, to encourage them to continue, and I spent most of the first day back at the border having my ear talked off. 

Early the next day, Duke Themis arrived at my camp just ahead of the rest of my army-reinforcements. I left their integration to others and met Duke Themis in my tent, a larger one than standard, with little flags by the entrance to make it easy to spot. I placed a great deal of importance in being able to be _found_ in an emergency, and it was worth the risk of an assassin shooting a flaming arrow at it. Which actually happened once, but that was neither here nor there. 

"Duke Themis, I'm pleased to see you," I greeted as I entered my tent, making sure to smile at him, the picture of a confident commander. However, I noticed his attire, and all cheer fled for fear. "You're… you're dressed in mourning black." It was shiny, suggesting it was new. "Your wife? Daughter?" 

"My Maribelle is safe, thankfully," he told me softly, moving slowly, like he was just so exhausted. His answering smile was bitter. "I… regret to say that my wife did not share her luck. These… troglodytes ambushed them while they were visiting one of the villages. They cut down my wife." 

"I'm… so sorry…" I bowed my head, unable to look him in the eye. "I should have secured the defenses here better before returning." 

"You did what you could, Lady Clara, and the defenses you did leave are what saved my daughter. I will not be greedy, though I do wish she was still here." He walked over to me and rested his hand on my shoulder. "Have you a plan?" 

"My original plan had been to check on the villages first, but clearly, that thought came too late." I took a deep breath and rolled my shoulders to straighten my posture. I _had_ to be confident. "I do come with a full force to retake the border. Have they crossed or just raided?" 

"Just raided, for now. The defenses you left pushed them back, though they're clearly preparing to attack again." He crossed his arms, wincing a bit with the movement. "My apologies. I pulled something clearing rubble." He gestured absently towards his shoulder. Now that I looked, I saw the tiny bits of a crisp white bandage peeking out over his collar. He'd done more than 'pull' something. "The village they visited was razed to the ground. My wife was not the only casualty." 

"I'll make them pay for every drop of blood." This was madness. It was one thing to attack soldiers, but another thing entirely to attack civilians. War was a beast, but that didn't mean we had to lose _all_ morals to it. "Have… funerals already been held?" I reached into my pocket, feeling for one of the silver-star pendants I carried. I'd leave one in the village's ruins. "Sorry, that isn't the proper question to ask." 

"I appreciate it, though. They have been held, however. We held them as we sent messages to Ylisstol." He closed his eyes, and I recalled that he hadn't even been married for two years. Worse, it had been a love match, like Adair and Candace, a rarity among Ylissean nobles, where arranged marriages and politics reigned supreme. "They attacked as the sun set, and as near as my scouts can tell me, they are camped just on the other side." 

"Do you have a map of the area?" The border was mountainous, and I had a few ideas already for how to use that to our advantage. "I'd appreciate any information you can give me." 

"Of course. Though, I do… have one request." He hesitated a moment and then actually bowed to me. "My wife's wedding ring was… stolen from her corpse. If you happen to see it…?" 

"I will bring it to you." My words were fierce and anger flooded me. It wasn't enough that they killed her? Fine. I'd show them just what their greed would get them. "I swear it." 

"Thank you." He straightened, and gave me another bitter smile. "In that case…" He gestured to my little table, and for the first time, I saw it was actually covered in papers and maps. "I brought anything I could think of that might be useful." 

"You, good sir, are my third favorite person, right after Adair and Candace." I grinned, elated. Maps and helpful locals. I could get used to this! "Let me look through. Can you stay a bit for any questions?" 

"Of course. That's why I came directly." 

"You're amazing." I darted to the table and leaned over the maps, making and discarding plans. "Okay, this path here… how viable is it?" 

* * *

The wind was harsh today. It whipped about, nearly tearing my hair out of my ponytail, and my cape from my shoulders. It would be difficult to field fliers in such conditions, but that was fine. My strategy for dealing with the Plegians didn't require them, and with the wind this bad, not even their wyverns could safely be fielded. That was actually _perfect_ for us. 

"My lady." David walked up to where I surveyed both armies and the coming battlefield. "The soldiers are ready," he informed me, shifting to stand at attention. There was very little trace of his normal good cheer, fitting the seriousness of the situation. "What are your orders?" 

"Cover me while I give them a chance," I answered coolly. They didn't deserve it, but I'd give it to them anyway. It was only 'proper'. "We'll see if these ones have a shred of sense." 

"Probably not, if they thought we'd just let them get away with razing a village and killing civilians. I'll make sure the archers are ready." 

"Thank you." I nodded a dismissal and stepped forward with my head held high, walking down the path. My soldiers automatically parted for me, letting me reach the front without any sort of resistance. A few gave me encouraging, yet worried, looks as I passed, but I kept my gaze forward, not quite ignoring them, but not really acknowledging them either. I knew, from past experience, that this show of focused confidence would reassure them far more than any smiles I could give them. 

I stepped into the 'open area' between the armies, the wind kicking up dust and my cape as I stopped, looking over the Plegian army. They lacked armor. That was the first thing I noticed. They lacked armor, and their weapons seemed to be of steel or even iron, instead of silver or 'brave' like ours. Plegia was always a wealthy country, but the war was draining their coffers as it did ours, and they likely weren't able to trade as much as they used to. They historically had a bad relation with Ferox, thanks to another war a hundred years ago, and with the war against Ylisse, they lost all land-trade. I wondered if they'd called back their sailors to field more soldiers, preventing sea-trade as well. 

Well, that made their assault on our villages all the stupider. 

"Soldiers of Plegia, I ask for your surrender!" I called, making my voice just loud enough to be heard over the gusting wind. "There is no need for blood to be shed this day! Lay down your arms and I will guarantee your lives!" 

I waited, wondering what their answer would be. In the past, it tended to just be silence, or maybe a single growled refusal. This time, though, they didn't even demonstrate that much courtesy. An arrow flew and clipped my cheek. Even better, it managed to cut my hair tie, so my hair fell from my ponytail to get caught by the wind. 

As the blood trickled down my face, I smiled grimly, the pain burning the smile. "Well, then. May the gods have mercy on you for your complete idiocy. I and mine will not." I brought up my hand and snapped my fingers. On cue, I heard David relay the orders to the archers, and more arrows flew, this time into the Plegians. 

Their screams echoed off the rock cliffs, and I casually turned away, returning to my soldiers. The frontlines already had their weapons at the ready, but they parted to let me pass, closing ranks behind me. When I passed the last of the lines, I turned, taking stock of how many had fallen to the arrows, and then raised my hand to snap again. This time, my soldiers charged, and the battle 'officially' began. 

I never could decide what the most noticeable thing about a battle was, even after fighting so many. Most of the time, I thought it was the blood or the screams, but every so often, I'd get overwhelmed by the _smell_. Blood, sweat, grime, mud… other things since bowels tended to loosen after death. The smell of intestines because of gut wounds. It wasn't uncommon at all for me to tear up from the constant barrage of scents. Today wasn't different, though I hid it by narrowing my eyes, and pretending they watered from the sunlight instead, and the way the sunlight glinted off armor and weapons. I wasn't particularly fond of fighting when the sun was high in the sky, but having that bit of light proved _very_ useful for hiding things above. 

"Lady Clara." After an eternity of fighting, meaning probably only a few minutes of _actual_ battle, David appeared at my side again, harried and with blood trickling down his head, forcing his to close an eye. "The mages wish you to know that they are ready when you are," he informed me. I nodded, still watching the battle. "Shall I give the order?" 

I waited to reply, studying the ebb and flow of the fighting. Then, I closed my eyes and nodded. "Yes, give the order," I whispered. I opened my eyes again, and brought my hand up with a whistle. That was the cue for the non-mages to fall back and not get caught. 

I watched my soldiers retreat back into formation, and the Plegians surge forward _out_ of their formation. Then I heard a soft 'boom' and the loud _crack_ of rocks dislodging and tumbling down. Screams echoed off the walls of the cliffside as the triggered rockslides blocked most of the Plegians from approaching… and retreating. 

I closed my eyes again as the spells rained down. I couldn't say I fully agreed with my own strategy. While pragmatic, there was something about trapping and barraging an enemy that just rubbed me the wrong way. But this would keep more of _mine_ alive, and these people had targeted civilians. This was proper retribution for such a thing. Besides, I'd asked Duke Themis for permission, since this would block former trade routes, and he'd granted it instantly, likely focusing on how the blocked paths would provide some small bits of protection of their own. 

I still had to fight to keep from squirming as blood seeped through the fallen rocks, and little bits of ash started dancing on the wind. 

"How _dare_ you?!" one Plegian shrieked. They were one of the few who managed to avoid getting caught in the trap, and they charged forward, berserking fury letting them actually crash through the frontline soldiers. Their wild eyes focused solely on me. "I should've known Ylisseans would stoop so low!" 

"I gave you and yours a chance to surrender," I pointed out calmly. I drew my sword, but waited, letting them come to me. They wore more armor than their fellows, and their axe was actually a very nice silver one. But I could see the chips in it. "You're the ones who refused." 

"As if we could back down after what you did!" They caught up to me and swung. I dodged easily, and silently ordered my soldiers to take care of the others. I could handle this fool alone. "As if we'll believe a single word you say!" 

"That's your problem." I shrugged, and dodged another swipe. "If you didn't want a battle, you shouldn't have attacked a village." 

"Why shouldn't we, when that's what you did?!" Their words startled me enough that they actually landed a hit on me, mostly across my shoulder-armor, but I could feel the bruise forming underneath. "You trampled our children! Your soldiers forced themselves on ours!" 

"...Liar." Temper sparking, I kicked their leg out from under them and sent them crashing to the ground. "I gave no such orders. My Exalt does not tolerate such actions. If such actions even occurred, I would look to your own first." 

"I know what I saw!" They struggled to stand, but I hit them in the back, sending them back down. "Bloody hypocrites! All of you! This is all your fault!" 

"Stop trying to blame others." I brought my sword up, cold anger flooding me. "If you want someone to blame, blame whoever is attempting to bring back Grima." 

"Oh, I hope they succeed!" Their eyes blazed with hatred. "I hope they succeed and everything you love crashes around you!" 

"And this is why your country burns." I brought the sword down, decapitating them, and stepped back. The battle fever faded as their body fell, and with it, my anger. I felt sick to my stomach at how casually I had dismissed their words, and how easily I condemned them all. 

But something glittered in the pooling blood, and I bent down and plucked a single diamond ring, a wedding ring, from the puddle. Bloodstained, but still shining, much like my armor and my sword. Much like… Ylisse itself, probably… 

This was to save the world. This was to make a world where mothers and children wouldn't be cut down, where people could walk through their villages without worrying someone would destroy it. I had to fight for that, no matter how sick I became. I had to. 

* * *

"I cannot thank you enough, Lady Clara." Duke Themis presented me with a steaming cup of tea, and I smiled at the taste when I took a sip. Citrus teas were Themis's chief export, and Duke Themis himself was known for brewing quite the fine cup. I still preferred wine, but this was still incredibly delicious. "You not only dealt with the menace, but you found my wife's ring," he murmured, sitting down at the table with me. We were in his study, where I'd given him a report of the battle. "I believe rumors actually downplayed your skills." 

"I think rumors fail to mention how I've many good men and women fighting with me, and how lucky I can be," I pointed out, continuing to sip the tea. It scalded my tongue, but the flavor was too good for me not to drink it immediately. If I closed my eyes, I could almost imagine that I was with Candace. "I'm pleased I found the ring so quickly. I thought I'd have to hunt through the bodies." 

"Your soldiers retrieved many stolen valuables thanks to that." Duke Themis's smile was bitter. "Bloody thieves…" 

"Yes…" Still, that one soldier's words echoed through my head. I'd have to investigate. While I still believed it was nonsense, it was possible, however unlikely, that some of ours were being less than moral. "But they shan't be doing anything more. I'll be surprised if any of them breach the border again, truthfully. I think I sent a clear enough message." 

"I think so as well." He stiffened briefly and stood up, heading for the door. I wondered what was wrong, but literally half-a-second after he went for the door, it opened to reveal a servant with a crying baby. Duke Themis took charge of the baby with hesitant ease, whispering and cooing. It took me only a second to realize the baby had to be his daughter, Maribelle. 

I watched him calm his daughter down, smiling sadly at the picture they made. Tiny Maribelle, likely adorable when her face wasn't all scrunched up and blotchy, sniffling and sobbing as her father tried desperately to calm her down, maybe even make her laugh. I was reminded of Adair and with his two kids. It worried me. 

Eventually, though, she calmed down, but when Duke Themis tried to give her back to the servant, she started whimpering and fussing. I laughed as both the servant and Duke Themis looked at a loss. "Oh, just let her stay," I urged, smiling brightly. Duke Themis gave me a grateful look. "She just wants her papa." 

"You are far too kind," Duke Themis murmured. He settled Maribelle against his shoulder and sat back down. The servant bowed and closed the door with a quiet click. "Then again, Exalt Adair is doting on his children, isn't he?" 

"When he's not busy." I went back to sipping my tea. It had cooled now, though my tongue still stung. "I hope she'll be a good friend to them, though. Your Maribelle, I mean. Candace is pregnant again as well, so…" 

"I'm sure Maribelle will be a devoted friend to all of them." He kissed the top of Maribelle's head, and she made some sort of gurgling noise before curling up to nap against his shoulder. I noticed a bit of drool and passed a napkin so that he could mop it up quickly. "Thank you." 

"It's no problem. She's less messy than Emm." I giggled, remembering how Emm was only ever clean when she was _in_ a bath. "Regardless, though, I should return to my soldiers soon. We'll be staying here until I'm more certain the border is truly secured." I looked at little Maribelle again and then looked down, guilt flooding me. If only I had been faster… her mother might have lived. "I'll assist however I can, of course, though I will prioritize defenses. But do not hesitate to send for me." 

"You are a blessing to this country, Lady Clara." He managed a real smile at me this time. "Let me know if I can help you as well. These are my people, after all." 

"I shall." I lifted my head and smiled back. As I did, I noticed the little calendar on his desk, and then noticed the date, thanks to the other days being crossed off. 

It had been about a month since I'd first returned to Ylisstol and learned Candace was pregnant. Four more to go, it seemed. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: Maribelle's mother is never mentioned, from what I can remember, so I'm having her as a casualty of the war. And with this chapter, I can announce the actual format for the story: every four chapters will cover 'one month'. (This is one reason why the story shall be on the shorter side, actually.) 
> 
> Next Chapter - Smiles 


	5. Chapter 5) Smiles

Chapter 5) Smiles 

* * *

"Drills are going well, my lady," David reported as we walked through the bustling camp. Everyone was rather lively, likely because it had been two weeks without any sign of an attack. "We've also word from the forward scouts that the path towards the capital continues to run smoothly, though going from the south is annoying." 

"Of course it is," I sighed, reaching back to fix my ponytail. The soldiers we passed greeted us warmly, and I waved to them. "But if they block this path off too, our only option is going to be solely fliers." 

"Meaning we have to push through and secure it no matter what." David nodded and flipped through some more papers he was carrying. "Duke Themis has thanked us for helping with repairs and the like." 

"Of course." I still felt horribly guilty. I'd visited the village and left a silver-star charm behind to calm the ghosts, but I felt like I should've prevented it in the first place. "How are our people? You were investigating… that thing for me, yes?" 

"I was." David's eyes turned grim, fitting the topic, but his smile was reassuring. "I've been researching how border guards and their… morale, shall we say, as you instructed. As near as I can tell, there's been nothing untoward." 

"Good." I smiled back, relieved. I _knew_ it had been a lie. It had just been them trying to push the blame of tragedies on us. I knew it! "Sorry to task you with so unsavory a job." 

"My lady, I live to serve, and I'm glad to be helpful." David's smile warmed. "Ylisse is my home, same as yours. The idea that some of our fellows might have done something so horrendous is… well, sickening." 

"Precisely." I patted him on the back. "But still, I appreciate it you doing this for me. If I'd asked, people would've taken it as fact and turned on each other." 

"Whereas my asking simply makes them wary, but that wariness isn't a bad thing necessarily." He shrugged. "It lessen the chances of people doing it in the future if the inclination strikes them." 

"I hope that won't happen at all. There's no need to descend into savagery just because we are at war." I shook my head, and then groaned as my ponytail slipped out. "Damn it." 

"Here, I'll fix it." David tucked the papers under his arm and fetched my hair tie. "Hold still, please." Carefully, he pulled my hair back into my normal ponytail, a little higher than how I normally wore it, but that was a welcome chance given how warm it was today. As he did so, I glanced around the camp, noticing some of the other soldiers had not only discarded their armor but their shirts. It was unseasonably warm for the season, and I worried on the effect that would have on the harvest. "There we go." He tapped my shoulders to let me know he was done. "You'll need a new one. This one is almost worn clear through." 

"I know." I made a face as he stepped to my side again. "But I always forget." 

"I can secure you one, if you'd like." 

"I'd appreciate it, as I'm sure as soon as we're back home, I'll forget again." I paused then, thinking as the thought occurred to me. "How secure would you say the border is?" 

"I would call it as secure as anything can be during a war, but I would advise asking Duke Themis what he thinks." He tilted his head to the side curiously. "Why?" 

"I was thinking I should head back and give a report." 

"It _is_ probably about time." He nodded. "Alright, I'll give the order to the troops-" 

"No, no, it'll just be you and me initially. The others can pull back on a set schedule." 

"Oh." His smiled brightly. "Very well. In that case, I'll go ask Duke Themis for an audience." He skipped off then, humming a little to himself. I stared after him, a little confused by why he was so pleased by the order. I supposed he was happy to have the chance to see his sister? I could understand that. 

After all, I looked forward to reuniting with my family too. 

* * *

"Home, sweet home," I breathed as I dismounted. I had to fight from stumbling as my legs protested the sudden 'having to bear my weight'. "Thanks for agreeing to push it that last half-day, David." 

"I'm eager to be home myself," David reassured, limping over to me. He grinned as some servants quickly led our horses away. "Ah, I can taste my sister's chicken already. Do you want some?" 

"Tempting as that is, knowing Candace, I'm going to be glutted on fruits, pastries, and whatever else she decides to throw at me." I grinned back. "I'll send you some so that I don't gain too much weight." 

"Considering how much you can eat and drink, my lady, I'll believe any weight gain when I actually see it." He winked as I rolled my eyes. "However, with your permission, Lady Clara, I wish to be relieved of duty to go hug my sister." 

"Before a bath?" 

"Yes, of course. What else are older brothers for but giving their proper little sisters hugs when they're sweaty, dusty, and smell _horrible_ ?" His grin widened as I burst into unexpected laughter. "So?" 

"Yes, you cheeky bastard. Tell her hello for me, will you?" 

"Glady. She won't believe me!" Snickering, he scampered off, and, still laughing, I walked inside the castle itself, sighing as the familiar scents of lavender and sandalwood hit me. It was just before lunch, since David and I had skipped breakfast to get even that extra little bit of time, and my stomach protested the lack of a meal. The rest of my body, though, _very_ much wanted a bath. At least my heart was settled. Once we had left the border, David seemed to sense how weary I was, and started bantering with me to help lift my spirits. I owed him a drink for that. Or ten. 

"Clara, you're back early!" Candace's voice was the only warning I had before she tried to throw herself at me for a hug. I automatically yelped and ducked under. To my horror, I almost automatically attacked her, but I managed to stumble back instead and check the urge. "Oh, why did you duck?" she asked, pouting. It faded, though, when she saw how I struggled to breath, and how I moved stiffly. "Clara?" 

"Let's… not do that for a while," I requested lightly. I tried to smile, but it shook. "I… uh…" I was hair-triggered. I'd seen some of my fellow knights be inflicted by the automatic reactions of a soldier on the field, but I'd avoided it until now. But this time… this time, I was hair-triggered. "Let's just not do that for a while." 

"...Okay." She gave me a sad look, and I instantly felt guilty. "May I still hug you?" 

"After a bath. I really want a bath." 

"Aw, you love a bath more than me?" She grinned and I found myself relaxing. "I see how it is!" 

"Well, it's not like _I'm_ your great love either." 

"No, that's Adair." 

"Clearly, since you two have a favored pastime and I don't mean just cuddling!" 

"You two are in the middle of the Great Hall where anyone and everyone can hear you!" Adair walked up then, red all the way up to his ears, hilariously enough. "Gods, Clara, can you not wait five minutes before teasing?" he complained. He managed a scowl for all of three seconds before it relaxed into a smile. "I'm glad to see you. How is Duke Themis?" 

"He's…" I began. I hesitated, wondering how to explain. I decided I just needed to be blunt. "He lost his wife." Adair stiffened, and Candace gasped, covering her mouth in horror. "But his daughter is safe. Some of his people died, but most survived. The border is secured again, though I fear some might've slipped deep within our lands…" 

"I'm going to write him now," Candace whispered. She made a point to kiss my cheek. "Hug later." Then she was off, disappearing quickly down the hall. 

Adair watched her leave, and his eyes were dark with pain. "Gods, if only I were a stronger Exalt," he murmured. I knew he was worried Candace might die too in this mess. "We need to end this soon. I can't…" Adair glanced around, and took my arm, leading me down the hall. "I honestly don't think we can _afford_ to keep the army much longer. Our economy is suffering from the lack of trade from Plegia and the devotion of all the resources into maintaining the army. That isn't even going into the harvest…" 

"Is it bad?" I asked, falling in step with him easily. My legs ached, but it was clear he needed to talk about this. "The weather has been warm…" 

"We've had some already dried up in the fields or whatever the term is. It's going to be a lean year." He laughed hollowly. "Maybe it's the gods' punishment for going to war in the first place. Or by not being decisive enough in it." 

"And we've been due to a lean year anyway." I nudged his side, smiling at him when he looked at me. "We've always had lean years. This is just some bad timing. I do agree we need to end this war soon, though. We've got people no longer remembering why we keep going to war." That little bit reminded me of something else. "But, if you want happier topics?" 

"Please." 

"So, there's this little boy and his mother I met who… well, the little boy is a little young, but I'd like to go ahead and set up a sponsorship for him, just in case? Before I forget, I mean." 

"Oh?" Adair smiled again, and I relaxed. The world was far brighter when he and Candace were smiling. "Tell me about them! I want to hear everything!" 

"Yes, yes." I launched into the story of how I'd met them, and then about the village in general, with amusing anecdotes from the camps just to make him laugh. During it, I decided to simply keep my worries and David's investigation from him. After all, David had come up with nothing, so it was fine. 

He was miserable enough. There was no need to have him deal with such a remote possibility on top of everything. 

* * *

After a very long, very luxurious bath, complete with privacy and fancy soaps and deliciously warm water, I went to get that hug from Candace. She clung to me a bit before returning to her letter, with little words crossed out. I knew she'd leave them in, as she always did when writing personal correspondence. This wasn't 'Queen Candace' writing, it was just 'Candace'. She didn't have to be formal and neat with it, and she never was. 

I read the letter over her shoulder, pointing out a couple of misspelled or misused words before being chased out of the room with a pillow. After _that_ , I decided to hunt for the two sweethearts who normally greeted me: Emm and Chrom. A quick word to the servants led me to Emm's room, her very own room that had a lovely view of the courtyard. I smiled as I walked in, because it was just so… cute. Scattered dolls and books dotted the floor. Lace curtains fluttered in the breeze. Clothes were scattered about. Pictures lined the walls. Vases filled with flowers balanced precariously on every little ledge. And in the middle of it all was Emm and Chrom, playing some sort of clapping game. 

"Like this, Chrom," Emm giggled, teaching Chrom patiently. Chrom, however, kept messing up, though he didn't seem to mind one bit. "Oh, Chrom, you need to put a little more force behind it." 

"Don't wanna," Chrom replied. He smiled sweetly up at her. "It stings. I don't wanna sting you, Emm. I loves you~" 

"..." Emm gathered him up in her arms, and nuzzled his cheek even as he tried to squirm away. "You are the cutest baby brother ever!" 

"I'm not cute!" 

"Yes, you are!" 

"No!" 

"Yes!" Emm giggled. "I love you too, by the way." 

"Yay!" Chrom finally settled down and accepted the hug, messily kissing her cheek. "Best sister!" He laughed and turned to just sit in her lap. As he turned, though, he caught sight of me lingering awkwardly in the doorway, and his face lit up with the brightest smile. "Clar!" He wriggled out of Emm's arms and toddled over to me, attaching himself to my legs. "You're back!" 

"I am," I confirmed, bending down to scoop him up. He giggled and wrapped his arms around my neck. "Have you been good?" 

"Yeah!" he replied, still laughing. "Emm's been teaching me!" 

"Has she?" I looked over at her, and faltered when I saw she was frowning at me. "Emm?" 

"You left without saying goodbye," she reminded me sulkily. I winced at the memory. "Just left." 

"...I'm sorry, Emm," I whispered. I clung to Chrom a little tighter. "It was… an emergency…" 

"And you weren't back 'soon'." 

"Actually, all things considered, I _am_ back soon?" But I supposed it was much too long for a nine-year-old. "I'm sorry, Emm. Like I said, it was an emergency…" 

"Why did we even go to war? What's the point? All it leads to is bunches of people crying and you being away all the time." Her pout deepened and deepened. "I hate war." 

"...I do too." I had no idea how to explain to her that this war was _necessary_. She was just nine-years-old. I didn't want her to have 'grown up' conversations yet. She was still a child, and I wanted her to stay one. "So, I'll end the war as soon as possible." 

"Promise?" 

"Yes." 

"...Okay." She still sulked, though. "And you won't leave without saying goodbye again?" 

"Yes, I'll make sure to say goodbye." I tentatively smiled at her, and finally, she smiled back. "Shall the three of us play then?" 

"Yes!" She giggled, annoyance evaporating for the cheer I so loved. "Well, we'll read a bit first? I found the most lovely book. It's a romance!" 

"A romance, huh?" I paused, thinking of how 'romance novels' normally went. "Let me… ah… make sure that it's age appropriate, Emm." 

"Aw, okay." She giggled suddenly, and pointed to where Chrom had curled up against my shoulder and nodded off. "He's been staying up late, just in case you came back late." 

"Well, I'm back, so let's let him sleep." I smiled down at her. "We'll be quiet for him." 

"Yes!" Her smile was warm. I wanted a world where she always smiled, just like this. "This way, this way! The book is over here!" I wanted a world where everyone could smile, just like this. 

...But was that even possible anymore…? No, it was. It had to be. I had to believe there would be a world like that, when this all ended. I had to. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: So, fun fact, armies require a lot to maintain. Salary, housing, weapons, armor, food… and plenty of all in order to run it efficiently. Honestly, one big reason Emmeryn likely demilitarized the army after all this was probably to cut costs, or at least, that's why people supported her decision for it. 
> 
> * * *
> 
> Next Chapter - Picnic 


	6. Chapter 6) Picnic

Chapter 6) Picnic 

* * *

"Clara! Wake up!" "Clar! Up, up!" 

A duo of voices startled me from my thoughts, and it wasn't until after I'd rolled off my very soft bed, throwing aside my very warm blankets, and landed on my feet with my sword half-pulled from the sheath before I realized that there was no way in all the hells of myth that this was an ambush. For one thing, I was in Ylisstol, specifically in the castle, the most guarded place in the whole country. For two, the voices were _far_ too young to be some of my soldiers, and they didn't sound much like soldiers talking in baby-voices to pull a prank on their poor commanding officer. For three, there was only one person in the whole world who called me 'Clar'. 

"What are you two doing up?" I asked, voice still a little raspy from sleep. It took me a couple of blinks to realize they were leaning around the door frame, giggling. "Oh, gods, what prank did you two pull off?" 

"No prank," Emm giggled. She had a firm grip on the back of Chrom's shirt, for some reason, as Chrom squirmed. "It's picnic time!" 

"...Picnic?" Absently, I fully sheathed my sword and set it against the nightstand by my bed. "What pic-OOF!" And then I was almost tackled _into_ said nightstand because Chrom had my legs. "We need to work on you not doing that, sweetie." 

"He _really_ wanted to give you a hug!" Emm giggled as I sighed and scooped up Chrom. "So, I stopped restraining him. Mama said to be careful." 

"She did?" It took me a moment to realize why, and it made my heart ache. While I would never purposely hurt _any_ of my family, my reaction this morning alone proved that I could do it accidentally. Candace had likely warned Emm, just so that I wouldn't actually do anything. "I suppose this is why you two didn't jump onto my bed to wake me up." 

"Maybe?" Emm giggled again and trotted over to snag my hand. "But picnic!" 

"Picnic, picnic!" Chrom repeated with a sweet laugh. He squirmed out of my arms and took my other hand. "Come on!" 

"What picnic are you two even talking about?" I sighed. Neither answered me, just started tugging me from my room. "The sun is barely up! You two hate waking up early." 

"Picnic!" 

"That's not answering my question, Chrom." We were in the halls now, and they continued pulling me down it. "Is this something you two planned without permission? I do have work, you know." 

"Nope!" Chrom grinned up at me. "David said he'd take care of it!" 

"How do you two even _know_ David?" 

"That… would be because it was Exalt Adair who asked?" As the two dragged me around a corner, David suddenly appeared, looking very confused. "I was about to ask if there was a system you wanted me to follow," he explained as I gave him a 'what the hell is going on?' look. "He's taking the day off, and asked if I would mind, since I'm…" He shrugged. "I'm apparently your second now?" 

"You are?" I repeated, a little baffled. I wasn't aware I _had_ a second! Adair must've pulled some sort of old law out again. "Well, I can't say I mind. You're reliable and kind, and I can talk about things that worry me. But you deserve a day off too, you know." 

"Well, yes, but I will remind you, Lady Clara, that your last break was unexpectedly cut short." David smiled gently, though his face seemed a little red for some reason. "And all I'd be doing is reading while my sister sews. I can do paperwork instead. We're both quiet sorts." 

"If you're certain…" I yanked Emm and Chrom back as they tried to pull me away from the conversation, literally. "In any case, I don't really have a system for paperwork, mostly because I have to read things three or four times. I've had some people in the past try to slip some really unusual or stupid things through to hide how numbers didn't match up." Adair had to deal with similar things. "If there's anything that seems especially off, set it to the side for me, but otherwise, I trust your good judgement." 

"Thank you, my lady." David's smile grew. "I'll save some of the funnier ones too. You haven't had a good laugh in a while." 

"Well, we _were_ on the border." I shrugged, smiling back. "Give your sister my thanks for letting me push my work on you, and I owe you another ten drinks." 

" _Another_ ten?" David grinned. "I can't drink that much, my lady! I'm not you!" 

"Hey, I don't drink that much either, especially when here. I've two littles too… whoa!" I gave Emm and Chrom a stern look as they gave me another good yank. "I'm having a conversation. Be polite." I waited until they both squirmed and nodded. "There we go." I sighed, and smiled wryly at David. "Here, walk with us a bit and I'll share some of the odd things you should look out for." 

"Of course, my lady." David smiled back warmly, and then crouched down to look Emm and Chrom in the face. "You two are being very patient, and I'm glad for it, but can I ask you for a little more patience? I'd like to make sure I don't make more work for Lady Clara by mistake." 

They both frowned, but nodded, and so they let David and I talk about work over their heads as they led me towards the stables, where I assumed Adair and Candace were waiting. With each step, my heart became a little lighter. We used to go for picnics all the time, but ever since the war started, I hadn't gotten a chance. I hadn't been home long enough. 

...I wondered if Candace made the food. I hoped so. Her sweets were the best. 

* * *

'Picnic' Emm and Chrom called it. I called it 'Clara babysits Emm and Chrom so that Adair and Candace can cuddle'. Even as I chased the two about in a game of tag, the two were sitting on the blanket, snuggled up under a parasol. Adair actually looked to be half asleep while Candace ran her hand through his hair soothingly. Oh well. It wasn't as if this was the first time a picnic had turned into this. 

"I give!" I groaned, flopping onto the blanket beside Adair and Candace. Emm and Chrom accepted my surrender with grace, and switched to just chasing each other around, their laughter filling the air with warmth. "Ugh… can I siphon off their energy somehow?" 

"If only, right?" Adair laughed. He made to straighten, but Candace pulled him down to rest in her lap. "Dear, Clara's here." 

"I highly doubt Clara _cares_ , love," Candace teased, leaning over to kiss his forehead. "You both are here to relax. Unless you feel there is a pillow more comfortable than my lap?" 

"That is unfair and you know it." He made a face, and then blushed as Candace kissed him on the mouth. "Candace!" 

"I can't wait until you have to tell Emm and Chrom where babies come from," I laughed. It was definitely worth how red their faces went. "Ah… this is the life…" I closed my eyes and let the wind just wash over me, bringing with it the smell of flowers and some distant bits of cooking from the town. This hill wasn't far from the palace, and it had the best tree to relax under. Or climb. Adair and I used to climb it a lot, but Candace made us stop after Emm tried to do the same and broke her leg. "I missed this." 

"Same here," Adair whispered. This time, Candace didn't stop him when he sat up. "We used to do this so much." 

"More when your dad was still alive." I opened my eyes again, watching the clouds float by. "Far more." 

"Yeah…" 

"Don't be gloomy," Candace scolded. She gave us teasing smiles. "Think happy thoughts." 

"Well, in that case, shall I only think of you?" Adair _instantly_ replied. I pretended to gag as Candace went bright-bright red. "Too easy." 

"You…!" She huffed and looked away. "You are horrible, teasing me while I am simply fretting." 

"You're teasing too. Don't pretend." 

"Hmph." 

"Don't make me have to choose between relaxing and escaping you two," I joked. I forced myself to sit up and I nudged Adair playfully. "Give me a break!" 

"Well, that's what we're _trying_ to do," Candace pointed out, dropping her pretend-anger. She smiled sweetly at me. "Give both of you a chance to relax." 

"Yeah, but let's not drown me in sappiness, okay?" 

"Maybe." 

"Well, in the interest of listening to my dear sister…" Adair began. He stood up slowly and stretched. I rolled my eyes when I saw Candace paying particular attention to his back and butt. "I'm going to play with my children for the first time in what feels like years." He leaned down and kissed Candace on the cheek. "Emm! Chrom!" He ran towards them, and both welcomed him with laughs and hugs before declaring him 'it' and going for another round of tag. 

Their laughter danced on the wind as Candace and I settled on the blanket, and she poured me some tea and told me some of the funnier gossip from the courts. I smiled in return, and closed my eyes, taking in this peace and laughter. For the first time in two years, I could pretend a war wasn't going on. I could remind myself, again, what I was fighting for. I could imagine how, in a few months, we'd have another member on these picnics, and smile at how much more fun we'd all have because of it. 

David was right. I needed this day off. I'd have to repay him for that. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: The hill and tree location here is the same one that pops up in one interlude in _Shadows of the Shepherds_. Just a nice little happy chapter, with an emphasis on 'little' (sorry!). What could possibly go wrong? 
> 
> Next Chapter - Assassins. 


	7. Chapter 7) Assassins

Chapter 7) Assassins 

* * *

"No, no, like this!" Chrom laughed as he tried to 'teach' me the clapping game he played with Emm. I already knew it, of course, since I'd been the one to teach Emm, but he had so much fun trying to show me that I pretended I didn't know, just to see him smile more. "This!" 

"Oh, I get it now," I replied, biting back a laugh. We went a couple of rounds before I purposely messed up the rhyme and the clapping. "Oops…" 

"You silly!" Chrom giggled, though, and took my hands again. I marveled at how small his were and yet, how large. In my head, I still imagined him with pudgy little hands that more smeared food on his face when he tried to feed himself, or that turned pages three-at-a-time because he couldn't get them to just grab one. Now, he was doing clapping games and turning the pages one at a time. I remembered how he couldn't walk down the steps without someone holding his hand, and yet, he could now take the steps, slowly and clumsily, without any support. "This way!" 

With Emm, I'd gotten most of her baby and child moments. I'd had free time to babysit, and so, I got to see the amazing first times alongside Candace and Adair. With Chrom, I missed out on so much, as did Adair. All of Chrom's firsts were just Candace's, and while I loved that she at least got to see them, it made me feel a little lonely that I couldn't share them as I did Emm's. I hoped I'd be able to be able to see the new baby's firsts. I knew Adair did too. The whole reason I got Chrom to myself right now was because Adair _had_ been playing with Chrom, but then the council had dragged him back to work, because our economy was starting to wither. There really was too much going wrong. 

Gods, why did the Plegians want to bring Grima back? Why worship something that only brought destruction? I didn't get it at all. 

"Clar?" Chrom tugged my sleeve, and I nearly yelped when I realized he'd actually crawled into my lap. I hadn't even noticed. "Clar, you k?" he asked, peering up at me worriedly. I automatically wrapped him up in a hug. "Crying but not crying?" 

"You think I'm crying in my heart?" I asked. He screwed up his face in thought before nodding. "Well, I suppose that does sound a bit accurate. War is a horrible thing." 

"Then why?" 

"Why fight?" I hesitated before answering. "Sometimes, Chrom, you have to fight in order to keep the people you love safe." I smiled slightly, amused I was having so serious a conversation with a four year old. "Peaceful options are better, but some people just don't _want_ peace. They just want to hurt people. So, you have to lead the way to peace with a blade in hand." 

"Oh." He frowned, not quite understanding, and then his eyes caught on something behind me. "Shiny." 

"...Shiny?" I twisted, wondering what the hell he meant. And then I had to yelp and roll out of the way as I realized the 'shiny' was actually a magic spell, a dark magic tome I'd seen so many times on the field. I clung to Chrom tightly as the spell hit the far wall with a deafening _crack_ , the glass from a nearby window shattering from the impact. 

Dark magic was only used by the Grimleal. What the _hell_ was one of them doing here? I wondered, but I had no time, so I tucked Chrom into a closet, kissed his forehead, and shut it on him, wincing as I heard him whimper and yelp. But I had no time to try and explain or comfort. The… the _assassin_ was preparing another spell, and I had to deal with them, immediately. 

So, I bent my knees slightly and lunged. Ducking under the next spell, I tackled them, knocking them off balanced. They were taller than me, which wasn't uncommon since I was small, but that didn't matter. Since they were startled, I used their elbow as a ledge and swung myself up and around, twisting their arm with me as I settled briefly on their shoulders and wrapped my legs around their neck. Then I went with the momentum and twisted again, using my thighs to put pressure on their neck as we hit the ground and I held them in a choke hold. I waited a few seconds before they went limp and untangled myself from their unconscious body. I poked them one, just to make sure, and then kicked their tome away and snatched a sword from an ornamental statue not far away. _Then_ I brought the blade on their head, shattering the skull and spilling blood all over the pretty marble floor. 

"That was for almost killing Chrom," I hissed to the corpse. I jerked the sword out and returned to the room, heading for the closet where a crying Chrom still hid. He flinched away from me, and for a second, I wondered why. But then I realized this was the first time he'd ever seen me covered in blood. This was the first time he'd ever seen me as 'Lady Clara, the Holy Swordsman of Ylisse', not as 'Auntie Clara who cannot do clapping games right'. But, after a moment, still crying and shaking, he reached out and clung to my shirt. I hugged him back with my free hand and kissed the top of his head. For a moment, everything just stilled, like it was just us in the whole world, like my only job was providing comfort to my precious 'nephew'. 

But then someone shrieked, and I realized that if there was _one_ assassin, there had to be more, and if they were criminal enough to attack while Chrom was near, then Candace and Emm weren't safe either. 

I snatched Chrom up, tucking him against my chest, and rushed down the hall. A couple of other dark magic users appeared from alcoves, trying to ambush, but I cut them down without a thought, doing my best to try and keep the blood from hitting Chrom. Sadly, I wasn't very successful, but he clung to me tightly, whimpering but refusing to let go. 

An arrow flew past my face, and I whirled, ready to cut the archer down. Then I paused as I realized it was David, and he stared at me in blank astonishment. Then he smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, I got used to just shooting everyone who passed," he explained. "But good, you have Prince Chrom…" He carefully put his arrow in his quiver and knocked on the door behind him. I took a quick glance around to see that there were no assassins near and… that I had to be at the door to Candace's salon… parlor… place. "My Queen, Lady Clara has your son." 

"Oh, thank the _gods_!" Candace's wavering, thick voice filtered through the door. I relaxed at hearing it. "Please, let her in. It'll do Emm some good to see him." 

Panic flooded me at the words, and I didn't even bother waiting for David to 'let me in'. I pushed past him and opened the door myself, terrified I'd see Emm laid out from an injury or something. I wasn't sure if the sight I saw was better. _Candace_ was the one injured, blood staining her dress. The way the blood was splattered told me she'd been struck across the back. 

Still, she smiled when she saw me. Thinly, and it looked horribly wan in her pale, pained face, but it was a smile nonetheless. "I got hurt protecting Emm," she explained, stroking Emm's hair. Emm was curled up in her mother's lap, silently sobbing. "How is Chrom?" 

"MAMA!" Chrom answered for himself, squirming out of my arms and stumbling over to her and Emm. "Scared…!" he half-sobbed, curling up in her lap too. Emm wriggled out an arm and threw it around Chrom to try and give him a hug. "Scared…!" 

"I know. I'm sorry." She looked up at me tiredly. "David bandaged my injury. Do you know about Adair?" 

"...I don't, sadly," I answered. I made to walk over, but then I remembered how bloody I was. I couldn't hug them like this. I couldn't comfort them with these blood covered hands. I would just scare them more. "I'd been playing with Chrom." 

"I see." She closed her eyes, and a tear slipped down her face. But when she opened them again, there was resolution in her eyes. "Clara?" 

"David and I will protect you. Just focus on yourself and your children." I made myself smile, and she managed to return the smile with one of her own. "It'll be okay." I stepped out then, and closed the door. Just in time, as some more assassins had arrived. "Cover me, David." 

"Always, my lady," he replied without hesitation. He glanced at me. "The Exalt?" 

"No clue, but if anything happened to his wife or children, we'd lose him anyway," I retorted. I steeled my resolved and calmed my heart. I _wanted_ to find Adair. I _wanted_ the reassurance that my brother was fine, both for myself and for Candace. But I was a Knight of Ylisse, and I had my duty. I would be _damned_ before I let these bastards harm Candace, Emm, or Chrom. "Keep focused. We'll drive these pests out, or slaughter them like the rats they are." 

I had to keep them safe, and I just had to hope Adair was alright. Gods, what the hell was going on? 

* * *

I wondered how the hell so many damn assassins had snuck in. Did we have traitors? Logically, that had to be the case, but I wondered who, and _why_ , someone would sell themselves out to Plegia of all places. But there were others who were better suited to burning _those_ sorts of people out. I was a knight, and that meant I was best for killing and leading, not subterfuge. And I had my hands full with these _too damn many assassins!_

"My lady, have you noticed?" David asked me at one point. We had cut down so many assassins that we'd actually left some up as a 'barricade' to the door and moved to have a little more room to maneuver. And for David to retrieve his arrows. "They wear the emblem of the Grimleal, I think." 

"Do they?" I asked, wiping some sweat off my face. I growled as I noticed _more_ coming our way, and then frowned as I noticed something else. "Do they look… what's up with their eyes? They looked… I don't know…" 

"They look dead." David summed it up neatly and we both shifted to put our backs to the wall. We no longer fought those with spells, just simple swords and other weapons. "...Their clothes are Ylissean." 

"Did the Grimleal fucking _take over_ some of our own?" Not only did they attack civilians and children, but they used our own? The cowards! If this is what they fell to in order to win a war, I had no qualms cutting them all down! "Gods, I could kill their king. Authorizing something like this… he is clearly as demented as the Grimleal." I surged forward as one came close and cut them down before kicking the body towards a second, giving David another opening. "Well, Grima fell to the First Exalt centuries ago, so the Grimleal will meet a similar end to the Knights of Ylisse!" 

"On our honor!" David set his jaw and shot two more in quick succession. I whirled and jumped into the middle of a group, taking a blow to the back in exchange for killing three in two swings. Then I jumped back and cut down a fourth. A fifth caught me on the arm, and I decapitated them. 

When a sixth tried to attack me, I noticed how flaily and stiffly they moved, like they were a puppet being controlled by a child. Unnerved, I looked at the others, and froze, noticing the same. Each of them moved like puppets. Killer puppets being manipulated by some psychopathic child, trying to kill David and me. Killer 'puppets', really peasants broken into nothing more than dolls. This was madness. This was absolute madness. 

"Clara, what the hell are you doing?" The shout was accompanied by the sound of two strikes accompanied by green sparkles dancing in the dim light. A body fell and I turned, seeing Adair standing near me, blood splattered and annoyed, Falchion gleaming in his hands. "I can't believe you gave me an opening to save you," he grumbled. But there was a teasing note to the words. "Wow, you must be exhausted to do that." 

"What, and deny you a chance to dramatically use Aether?" I asked. Now that I knew he was here, I knew what the green sparkles had been. Aether, once a legendary skill of the Hero of Blue Flames, was the signature skill of the Exalt, taught only to the Exalt-to-be and their children, and combined the Luna and Sol skills. Luna had blue sparkles, while Sol had yellow. Blue and yellow made green. "Good to see you. I was almost worried." 

"Only almost?" 

"Be glad I had any worry at all. David's skill bought me enough breather for that." 

"David, I owe you a hell of a raise!" Adair shifted so that he and I were standing back to back. "Remind me of that later!" 

"I'll take the raise, and a drink as well, if you don't mind my being cheeky, Exalt Adair," David _instantly_ retorted. I glanced over and saw him even grinning. "It doesn't look like we have much more to deal with." 

"Oh, thank everything, there's an end!" I groaned. I felt in better spirits, except… I still was fighting puppets. I still was killing peasants who were being controlled. But I had no other choice. It was kill or be killed, and if I died, then they'd go after Candace, Emm, and Chrom. I couldn't… I couldn't… 

I wasn't sure if it was a relief or not that David was right and we finally did kill all of them. I no longer had to kill, but I also no longer had the battle to numb me. 

"Freaking hell," Adair groaned, rolling his shoulders. He turned to David and me, and bowed. "Thank you graciously for your fighting efforts. There was a fire in town shortly before the attack, which is where most of the guards went. Clearly, setting things up for here, damn them." 

"Damn them indeed, Your Grace," David agreed tiredly. He managed a smile. "Would you like to see your family?" 

"Yes, actually." Adair's eyes lit up. "How are they?" 

"Scared, frightened. Queen Candace took an injury to her back, but it was very shallow." David turned and led the way back to the room. I had to drag Adair with me to follow as he'd frozen from shock. "Lady Clara? Your orders?" 

"Oh, me?" I asked, smiling slightly. I wasn't even sure why. It felt stiff. "Just… make sure there aren't more, and that the fire is under control." 

"Of course," David murmured. He bowed and darted off. Belatedly, I realized he was making sure to remove the 'non-family' member from the group, so that Adair would not feel obligated to hold onto his 'Exalt mask'. That was _another_ drink I owed him. Damn it, and I couldn't even be mad about it. 

Especially since, after I cleared the door and opened it, Adair _bolted_ inside, tripping and stumbling, all pretenses of Exalt Dignity discarded. Guilt flooded me as I watched Adair gather his family in his arms, openly crying at how close he'd been to losing them. Genuine pain clawed my heart at how Candace sobbed into his shoulder, how Chrom and Emm bawled as they clung to their parents. So frightened, so terrified… so close to _death_ when they shouldn't have been... 

I should've been more careful. I should've investigated closely. I should've... 

A sound made me freeze, and I whirled, blade out, ready to strike. But I paused, waiting, as I noticed the source was a small distance away, a young man half hiding in the shadows of a pillar. The first thing I noticed was the strange headdress-crown the man wore, a gold thing that hooked behind the head and underneath the chin. The second thing I noticed was the sharp red eyes that glittered with keen intelligence. A lean face, a lean body in general, with sharp features emphasized by the beard he wore. Black hair, dark enough to blend into the shadows. Clothing that marked a high ranked Sorcerer of the Grimleal. A cocky little smirk that said 'well, well, I know everything, but you are still so amusing'. He knew I saw him. He knew I studied him. 

He seemed to study me took, and his smirk simply widened after a moment. He stepped back, slowly bringing up his hand, and snapped his fingers. Instantly, some sort of magic wrapped around him, and in a blink, he was gone, as if he'd melded into the shadows itself. As if he had never been there at all. 

Gods, if I needed any more proof that the Grimleal were evil, _that_ man checked off all the stereotypical villain traits from a story book. Freaking hell. What was _wrong_ with Plegia? 

* * *

Seventy dead. There were _seventy_ dead. Sixty of them had been Yllisean peasants, based on their clothes. Sixty of them had been normal people snatched during the night and brainwashed into madness. Gods, I hated Grima. 

"And that is David's initial results," I explained to Adair, too tired to even sit down as I usually did. No, not too tired. Too _drained_. So many were dead, and there was one piece that made no sense to me. For some reason, they had focused on two targets: Candace-Emm-Chrom and the Vault. I could understand the former, but hell if I knew why there were so many in front of the latter. Not only was it impossible to open if you weren't of the Royal Family, but it only held one thing, the Fire Emblem. That thing was useless, just a relic of old times. "He's double checking the town." 

"Is he officially your second?" Adair asked. He leaned against his desk, looking up at the ceiling. I half-thought he'd almost fallen and just happened to land on his desk. "I think I did that." 

"Yes, that's how you got me on the picnic." 

"That's right." He shrugged and smiled thinly at me. "Good man." 

"Yes, yes, and we're overworking him horrendously." 

"Right, pay raise. Hell of a pay raise." Adair groped for a pen and jotted a quick note. "And alcohol. Lots of alcohol. A cask for you, dear sister?" 

"Considering tonight? I want three." I smiled slightly as he managed a laugh. "I mean it. Three. Delivered promptly tomorrow afternoon." 

"Three. Got it." He wrote that down too. "So, I've a theory for who did this." 

"Oh?" I paused, remembering something. "Do you know what sort of title in Plegia wears an odd headdress that goes like…" Words decided to fail me then, so I just gestured around my face, miming out the headdress I'd seen. "I saw someone like that. Disappeared quickly." 

"Well, that turns my theory to fact. That headdress is the symbol of the Hierophant, Validar." Adair glowered up at the ceiling. "He's supposed to be very skilled at the dark arts and curses, which according to the stories, was capable of breaking a person's mind and will and controlling them. He's _also_ supposed to have an old magic called 'Rewarp'. Probably showed up, brainwashed them all, and then got out of here." Adair drummed his fingers on the desk. "Somehow learned it from the Witches of Valentia, gods damn him." 

"Valentia… that's the old name for Valm, yes?" I couldn't believe this… Hierophant had studied, and learned, magic from a place _across the sea_. "You don't think they're stirring up trouble there too, do you?" 

"Who knows? We're clearly dealing with mad people." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Regardless, though, it seems the Grimleal are operating more directly if we've got their Hierophant moving." 

"We just have to hope they don't stop our advance force." I shrugged, but a quick glance down showed the blood still crusted under my nails. I'd have to take another bath. "What… are we going to tell the people? About the ones we killed?" 

"Plegia. We say Plegia killed them. It's the truth." 

"The people won't believe that." I shook my head, drooping. I'd screamed at Plegians for harming 'civilians', yet that was what I did. True, they had attacked us, but the fact remained that it wasn't willingly… "If there had been rumors of kidnappings before, then maybe, but there's been nothing. So…" 

"It's. The. Truth." Adair said the words firmly, and I closed my eyes, recognizing the tone. It was his 'I am not budging' tone, and I knew better than to argue. "Go rest, Clara. You'll need it." 

"Only if you promise to do the same. I know you. You need to reassure yourself that your family is safe." I made sure to smile, and he softened enough to smile back. "So, that's the deal. I'll rest if you do." 

"...Fine." His smile became wry. "Blackmailer." 

"Yes, yes, I'm horrible." I rolled my eyes and turned away. "But I'm going to take another bath." 

"Don't stay in long. I need my sister to not turn into a fish." 

"Yeah, yeah." I waved the words away and walked out of the room, heading towards mine. But I only made it a couple of steps before I had to stumble into a nearby alcove and slide down the wall, shaking as I tried to bite back sobs. 

Candace almost died. Emm almost died. Chrom almost died. Adair almost died. And, because I'd stupidly thought everything was safe here in Ylisstol, there were going to be _bunches_ of families who'd have to deal with their family members suddenly being dead, and they were going to be fed a half-truth that it was Plegia's fault. Plegia's Hierophant, if he was really involved, might've controlled them, but I was the one… I was the one who… 

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Well, since Aether is Chrom's signature, and it's something Lucina (and any of Chrom's daughters) inherits, I figured his _father_ might know it too. So, have Adair using it. There's no mention of Plegia (or at least the Grimleal) sending assassins in-game during the war; I added it in as a mirror to what does happen in game. The game implies (and outright shows in a certain chapter) that the Grimleal are capable of hypnosis or mind control, which I brought in for here too. 
> 
> Next Chapter - Strangeness 


	8. Chapter 8) Strangeness

Chapter 8 - Strangeness 

* * *

I always loved Ylisstol in the early hours of the morning. It was quiet, but with a warmth to it, the warmth of contentment. The smell of people cooking breakfast lingered through the air. The off-key singing of people doing morning chores danced about the mostly-empty market place. The sun peeked over the roofs like a child playing hide and seek, the light sparkling off the little bits of dew. It reminded me of the old days, when I could sprawl out in front of the fireplace and listen to Adair read stories to Chrom while Candace taught Emm how to sing some song. I wanted to return to those days. Just a few more battles… 

I shook my head and made my way through the market, heading for the house of Master Soren Blackstone, head of the Merchants' Guild here in Ylisstol. Though, surprisingly, I was not tasked with talking to him today. Instead, Adair had asked if I'd enlist his wife's assistance, as she was a known scholar with intriguing theories and powerful magic user. So, I counted houses and inquired with some people to find it, a surprisingly simple home given how wealthy I knew Master Blackstone was. I smiled, however, when I noticed the more subtle signs of wealth, like the ornamental garden set up in a beautiful little patch by a window. I knocked on the door and waited as I heard some rapid footsteps from inside. The door opened with a quiet little creak, and I blinked a few times, wondering why I didn't see anyone. 

"Salutations!" A cheerful voice made me look down to a smiling young girl, about five or six though maybe a bit older, with short red hair and these very wide pieces of glass in wire. "Might I inquire as to why… er… what your business is?" she asked, her smile turning a little shy. 

I couldn't help but smile back. "Well, hello there," I greeted, crouching a little. "Is Mistress Eliana home?" 

"My mother is in her abode, yes." The little girl smiled brightly again. "Would you like to… um…?" She frowned suddenly. "Um… um…?" 

"Miriel, you do not have to use every word you just learned in a sentence." A kind looking woman with long red hair in a simple braid stepped into the doorway, laughing. "I'm sorry," she told me. "Come in, come in! Miriel just finished her vocabulary lesson, you see." 

"Mama, I'm having fun!" Miriel protested. She stood to the side and let me in. "It's good practice!" 

"It is, but you don't have to force it, sweetie." She ruffled Miriel's head and passed her a basket. "Take this to your father. He forgot his breakfast again." 

"Okay~!" Miriel giggled and skipped out the door. 

Mistress Eliana laughed again, and bade me into some sort of parlor. Her cheer faded slightly as she sat down and gestured to the other chair. "So, what brings the Holy Swordsman herself to my home?" she asked me. She still wore her smile, but there was a sharpness in her eyes. "Does it have to do with the recent assassination attempt that killed so many civilians?" 

"Unfortunately, yes," I replied. I kept my expression calm, trying not to squirm. The official word was that the Plegians had used the townspeople as sacrifices for great magic, with Adair taking advantage of how no one but the Grimleal knew anything about dark magic, but it made me uncomfortable. I still felt the blood on my hands, and walking through the town, I heard the murmurs of discontent. "We were wondering if you might serve the crown directly?" 

"As a soldier? As someone who develops weapons? I'm sorry, but no." Her smile fell as she shook her head. "I am a scholar first and foremost. I live for three things. My husband, my daughter, and to learn. I have no interest in serving anything but knowledge." 

"I understand." I smiled at her, and she relaxed, smiling back. "If we can work a bit of a compromise? There seems to be some curse that takes control of someone's mind." 

"Oh?" Mistress Eliana looked intrigued. "Hmm… something like that could probably be resisted through a great exertion of willpower, but a shield…" Her eyes sharpened, and part of me regretted saying that, since I was sure she'd seen through the lie about the sacrifices. But she smiled gently. "I'll think on it. I'm in the middle of a paper at the moment. The wonders of gravity!" 

"Gravity?" 

"It's why things fall!" Her eyes sparkled, and she laughed. "Oh, no, don't get me on it. You'll be here all day." 

"And, sadly, I do have other business to tend to." I stood up and she did as well. "Thank you for meeting with me." 

"And thank you for taking my refusal so gracefully." Her smile turned a little sad. "I know we are at war. I don't know why, which bothers me, but more importantly, I want to shield my daughter from it as much as possible." 

"I can understand that. Sadly, though, the only way I can protect anything is by killing." I shrugged, and shook my head. "Don't feel bad. I know how messy wars are, and I know what I sacrifice to fight." 

"Thank you for your service." Her smile warmed again. "I'll get back to you on that mind shielding thing." 

"I'll be looking forward to it." A little bit of laughter caught my attention, and I looked out to see Miriel returning. "I'd best leave so that you can get back to your adorable little girl." 

"She's the best, isn't she?" She laughed. "I'll see you out." 

I ended up lingering a bit longer because Miriel realized who I was and excitedly asked questions about how swords 'worked'. I couldn't say 'no', and Mistress Eliana laughed at us both. I really did love Ylisstol best in the early mornings. 

* * *

The next day, I decided to go out and do some shopping. Mostly some apology gifts since I was away so much, and honestly, would likely be heading off again before long. The last message from the scouts indicated they were closing in on Dragon's Table. If that was the case, then they'd be needing help or will march on the capital. Meaning I'd have to be there. 

"Thank you very much!" I chirped, waving goodbye to the shopkeeper as I'd left. My little basket of goodies was much heavier thanks to the dulled practice sword I bought Chrom. He already showed a fascination with weapons, and while I hoped he'd never fight in a war, it was certainly good exercise. It would also be a good way to help Adair relax, teaching Chrom. "Let's see…" I also had a doll for Emm, a cute little stuffed bear with black plush for fur. I knew she'd love it. "Candace next. Then Adair." 

Humming to myself, and doing my best to avoid the suspicious looks, I immediately went to the jewelry stall for Candace, snagging her a diamond necklace that would match her earrings. Adair was much harder, simply because I couldn't decide. I eventually settled on a book of poems as a way to tease him. Adair was terrible when it came to poetry, to the point that I'd nearly died laughing many times while he was courting Candace. I ended up buying a couple of books for Emm and Chrom to read as well, just because the covers were cute. Then, laughing, I headed towards the food stalls, intending on grabbing something to snack on. 

A sudden shriek stopped that, though. Instead I bolted down the path, leaving my basket with a random shopkeeper with a 'sorry, watch this!'. I pushed through the crowd, not even stopping when I noticed red in the street. At least, I didn't pause until I realized the red wasn't _just_ blood. It was also hair. Long, beautiful red hair in a falling apart braid. 

"Get a healer!" I snapped, breaking through the last and kneeling next to the body sprawled out in a puddle of its own blood. Her own blood. A quick look… proved my initial suspicion too. The victim was Mistress Eliana. "And the guards! Get them moving!" I tried to inspect the damage, and winced when I realized… she'd been stabbed straight through the spine. I grabbed her wrist and found a fluttering pulse, but it quickly faded. It was possible that I'd just felt my own pulse, since it thudded in my ears. 

No sign of what did it to her. No sign of why. No sign of anything but the wound that killed her. 

A whimper caught my attention, and I twisted, wondering what it was. To my shock and grief, it was Miriel. She wore no happy smile now. She just stared, shaking, face so pale that I could pick out the tiny veins in it. Face so pale that the blood splattered across it stood out sharply. The sunlight glinted off both it and her glasses, making her almost sparkle. 

I crawled over to her and carefully took off her glasses so that I could wipe the blood off. My sleeve wasn't that great for cleaning, though, so I only got most of it off, with little bits clinging stubbornly. I had a bit better luck with the glasses, thankfully, and so I slipped them on her face. There were no tears in her eyes. Just a dull lifelessness. 

"Why?" she asked softly. The one word shook so much that I had to strain to understand her. "Why?" 

"I don't know," I answered, perfectly honestly. I had no idea. "I'm sorry." 

"Why?" She half-fell forward and curled into my lap. I rested my hand on her hair, and grimaced as I realized I got blood in it. Her mother's blood… "We were shopping for food. She was telling me about gravity and some other projects. Then a cloaked man bumped into her and she fell. Why?" 

"I don't know." 

"Mama would know. But she won't wake up. Why?" 

"...The gods took her." 

"Why?" 

"I don't know." 

That little discussion continued for a small while. I couldn't admit her mother was dead. I could only answer her questions with 'I don't know', because I didn't know. I didn't know why anyone would want to kill Mistress Eliana. I had no answers for her. But I tried, as best as I could, without admitting the death. 

When the City Guard and healers arrived, I picked up Miriel and took her to her father to inform him of what happened. Then I scoured the city myself, to see if I got lucky. I didn't, though. The murderer, whoever it was, had just disappeared into the shadows. I cursed everything ten thousand times as I dragged myself back to the castle, basket back in hand to pass off to a servant. I'd hoped for better, for the little girl so numb by her mother's death that she couldn't even cry, and for that smiling, sharp-eyed woman who had wanted to protect her daughter from the war. But no. Nothing. It had been absolutely nothing. 

"Her poor family…" Candace sobbed. She had been helping Adair with something when I came in to report, and burst into tears when I explained what happened in the market. Adair rubbed her back reassuringly, and didn't react. "Her poor daughter…" 

"I'll be checking in on her over the next couple of days, with Master Soren taking her to the temple for mental trauma," I replied. I had to resist the urge to punch something. I just felt so frustrated and angry. "Adair?" 

"Between this and the previous instance, we'll need to set up curfews and strengthen the guard in the city," Adair murmured. He kissed Candace on the temple before going to his desk and scrawling something. "Did anyone stop you?" 

"No, thankfully. It seems having a murder in the market made them decide suspicious Holy Swordsman is better than no one." I shrugged, and thought I saw him smile. I thought it odd. "It was just a matter of getting there too late." I held up my hand, remembering that fluttering heartbeat. Just too late. "Very efficient, though. Even if she survived, she would've been paralyzed for life. Her spine was severed." 

"Oh, how awful!" Candace gasped. She was still weeping badly, and I moved to her side so that she could cry on my shoulder. "And that poor girl saw it…!" 

"Candace, you need to calm down," Adair whispered. He returned to her and picked up her hand to kiss it. I stepped away so that he could also kiss away the tears on her face. "You must think of your health. You're almost in your fifth month." 

"B-but…" She leaned into him and he hugged her tightly, kissing the top of her head. "I…" 

"I did buy some presents?" I noted hesitantly, desperate to change the subject. Adair smiled at me. "Here, Candace, let's go give some presents to Emm and Chrom. Adair?" 

"I need to organize things here," he explained, shaking his head. "I'll join up later." 

"Okay." It still took a minute before Adair and I could calm Candace enough for her to let go of him. We tentatively joked on how pregnancy made her weepy, recalling some story about how she'd cried every other day when pregnant with Chrom. That had been enough for a watery laugh, and so, I led Candace out of Adair's study, forcing some excitement in the hopes she'd snatch it and smile again.   
As the door shut behind us, though, I realized something odd. It was so odd that I almost turned back to ask, but decided to simply… ask later, since calming Candace took priority and I didn't want to upset her again. But Adair had acted… strange throughout that whole meeting. I would've expected him to gasp, scream, maybe cry a bit at the thought of something happening in the market. But instead, he reacted calmly, like he'd already known. Yes, like he'd already known. He hadn't been surprised by the news. I wondered if someone else had reported in before me, but Candace hadn't known, and Adair would've said something if that had happened. Something like 'I had hoped it was an exaggeration'. 

So… why? 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Miriel's mother only comes up in two of her supports, iirc: Avatar and Gregor. There's no mention on whether or not Miriel's mother is alive, though it's not a big leap to assume she's deceased. Which left an interesting question of 'how'. Which I decided to answer. And traumatize Miriel, because… because? (I'm terrible, sorry) 
> 
> Next Chapter - Sparkles 


	9. Chapter 9) Sparkles

Chapter 9) Sparkles 

* * *

"Thank you for the medicines," I said, smiling at the little boy with grey-green hair working the counter. Stahl, his name was, the youngest son of Master Darrin, the best apothecary in Ylisstol. "I really appreciate your father fast-tracking them." 

"Well, you paid extra, so I imagine Dad didn't mind either," Stahl replied with a grin. He was missing some teeth, a bit young for it. Then again, he was rather young to be working the counter. I hoped someone was watching him. "Have… a good day!" 

"You too." I laughed, and walked out, carefully carrying my basket of medicines., to meet with David, my partner in crime for this little shopping adventure. He carried two baskets already. "So, am I finally allowed to carry one?" 

"It's easier to shop when your hands aren't full!" David joked, grinning. He held up the two baskets he had, and sighed. "I must say, though, that I wasn't expecting quite so much of a workout." 

"And just think! These are only the emergency supplies," I teased. He groaned and I laughed. "Well, we're just about done with the trip." 

"Thank the gods." He sighed and led the way through the market, back towards the castle. Due to the recent curfews, it was actually busier than normal. No one would be able to shop once the curfew hit, after all, and no one would want to with the increased guard. "I'm tired of being stared at." 

"Yeah…" I glanced around, noting how many people eyed us with worry. Between the war stealing their families and the increased guard, people just had a hard time welcoming us. It didn't help that there was nothing to show for it. No victory, and captured murderer. "Well, relax. I just need to swing by the church." 

"To check in on that poor girl?" 

"Let it never be said that I am not a creature of habit." I laughed and he smiled. "I just feel responsible. I couldn't find the killer." 

"I know. And I understand." He awkwardly waved at a couple of the more blatantly staring people. They squeaked and ducked their heads. "Market is just more uncomfortable nowadays." 

"It'll get better." It had to. "We just have to keep on walking forward." Though it was harder and harder to hope. There had been little word from the front, and that made me nervous. "In the ever wise words of someone, everything will work out!" 

"Someone. Right." 

"Oh, give me a break." A sparkle suddenly caught my eye and I turned, curious. I couldn't help but gasp as I realized the source was a pair of beautiful silver and sapphire earrings. I lingered for a bit, staring at them, before sighing and leaving them behind. I didn't bring personal funds for the trip, and I dared not use 'official' funds for something like jewelry, especially where other people could see me. 

"Er… Lady Clara?" However, David tentatively caught my attention. "I'm… I thought I saw something my sister might like." He smiled warmly and winked. "And I have some coin burning a hole in my pocket, soooo…~" 

"Meet me at the church, then." I grinned, secretly envious. I really did like those earrings. "And try not to get mauled by the crowd." 

"I'll try!" He laughed and darted back, while I continued on, leaving the market behind and entering the 'scholars' district, where the university and the High Church of Naga resided. 

It wasn't hard at all to find, due to being a large, ornate building with beautiful stained glass windows coloring the walkway inside, and no signs of guards. I smiled as I stepped based the intricately carved, but always open, doors and closed my eyes when I reached the 'main room' of the church, letting the scent of lavender and chamomile wash over me. There were other scents, of course, but those ones I recognized and took comfort from. 

"Ah, Lady Clara." A quiet voice greeted me, and I opened my eyes to smile at Libra, the newest initiate for the church, as he stood up from one of the pews. He smiled back kindly, but there was a sadness in it that broke my heart, especially since his neck was bandaged. I wondered what injury he suffered that he kept reopening. "Do you wish to talk to Father Renall?" he asked gently. "He's in the back." 

"Yes, if you don't mind," I replied. My fingers twitched to pat his shoulder or something, but I doubted he'd want that. The few times I'd met him before, he'd shied away from any bit of touch. "And how are you today?" 

"I'm well. Thank you for asking." He looked up at me before shaking his head and leading me down the hall. I suppressed a sigh and followed, trying to not feel bad. He was probably only a year or two younger than Emm, yet he was so sad… I wanted a world where children like him could be happy. I supposed I had to be satisfied at making a world where Emm, at least, would always be able to smile. 

Libra politely knocked on Father Renall's study's door and walked away, returning to whatever he'd been doing. I waited until I heard an absent 'come in' before opening the door, and walking inside the cramped, chamomile and old-paper smelling study. 

"Ah, Lady Clara!" Father Renall, the leader of the church, stood with a smile and a knowing look in his eyes. "I would say that I'm surprised, but I can't be at this point," he chided. "Are you checking in on young Miriel's progress?" 

"I know it's not my business, but I can't help but worry," I replied. It hurt. It hurt that I had no clues. …No, I had one, but that one made no sense to me, so I… "Besides, you indulge me." 

"More than I should, but her father did say he didn't mind, so long as it was just you." He sighed and shrugged. "She is recovering, though she seems to have dived into studying as a means of coping. Unfortunately, there's no more to be said." 

"I see…" I tried not to be disappointed. It made sense. I just hoped… she could heal. "But she _is_ recovering?" 

"Yes, as near as I can tell. Time will tell if she hits a stumbling block. Healing is multiple steps, and that's all the more true with mental wounds." 

"Right…" I wanted to sigh, but I made sure to smile instead. It was more than he was obligated to tell me, by a long shot. "Thank you. I'm sorry to bother you while you were working." 

"Oh, it's nothing for you to worry about, Lady Clara. I'm simply dealing with some Plegians having the gall to ask for refuge here." He scoffed, but I found myself frowning. "Ridiculous. As if we'd give sanctuary to those of Grima." 

"…Forgive me, sir, but why are you?" 

"Well, it's the King's orders, for one thing." He shrugged, and I felt myself grow cold. "Not that I mind." 

"Lady Clara?" Libra's voice startled me, and I turned to see him poking his head into the room nervously. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "But there's a messenger from the palace. Said it was urgent." 

"…I'd best be on my way, then," I murmured. I bowed to them both without another word, and strode out, my head in turmoil. 

While I could understand being wary, I… I couldn't believe Adair had issued an order, to the church, to refuse refugees outright. Worse, I couldn't believe he'd done so… without telling me. Without discussing it with me. He normally did. For something big, he weighed in with Candace and me, but I knew Candace wasn't involved. She'd be horrified by the thought. I was more pragmatic, but even then, I couldn't help but wonder about the Plegian children who might be stuck in the middle of a warzone. 

What… was going on? 

* * *

"They hit a wall at Dragon's Table?" I asked, startled. I'd intended on asking Adair about the refugee-ban, before learning why he'd asked for me. But when I'd gotten to Adair's study, he dropped _that_ bit of news on me, and all thoughts of questioning his decision flew right out the damn window. "Are we talking a literal or figurative wall?" 

"More the latter than the former," Adair answered. He leaned against his desk with his arms crossed, glowering at the ceiling. "It's a wall of Grimleal. They've fielded more here than ever before, and it's apparently a nightmare of curses and dark magic." 

"…Shit." I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose to ward off a headache. "Just… shit." 

"Yeah." He sighed as well and gave me a mournful, resigned look. "I'm sorry. But I need you out there, and I need you out there yesterday." 

"I understand." I returned his look with a wary one of my own. "Do I need to leave within an hour or in the morning?" 

"Your call." 

"How bad?" 

"Very." 

"How much is very?" 

"Our reserves are being deployed." He said the words quietly, but I froze at the implication. Reserves… they were our older or younger soldiers, the ones without the vigor or experience to keep up with our 'in peak condition' soldiers. If they were being deployed, it meant we had a casualty rate of over seventy-percent. "I've also contacted the church for more healers." 

"…How many more?" 

"Whoever they can spare. And they've agreed." 

"…It's that bad." 

"Yes." 

"It's really that bad." I couldn't quite believe it. I'd faced bad odds before, but this seemed like almost nonsense. "Is there… is there any sign of Grima?" 

"Thankfully, no." His smile was bitter, though, and I had to admit that it was small comfort given everything. "I need you out there." 

"I'm gone within the hour. Find… fine at least Emm for me to say goodbye. I promised." 

"I'll try and get all three for you." He hesitated before coming over and hugging me. "Don't tell them how bad it is. I'm hiding it from them, for Candace's health." 

"I'll leave the story to you, then." I hugged him back tightly, understanding. "I'm getting my things. I'll meet you and whoever you can get at the front gates." 

"Love you, sister." 

"Love you too." I pulled away and patted his head like I did when we were kids, just to make him make a face, and then walked out, half-running down the hall. 

I turned a corner and ran straight into David, who still had the baskets. "I heard there was an emergency," he told me breathlessly. The lack of breath and the sweat dripping down his face hinted he'd run all the way back. "What is it? When do we leave?" 

"We leave within an hour with whoever can make it," I told him bluntly. I glanced around and leaned in to whisper in his ear. "It's bad. It's a massacre. Reserves are deploying." 

"…Oh, shit." He grimaced and I nodded. "Hour. I'll make it. Don't leave without me, Lady Clara." 

"Can you get a message out for me?" 

"So that you have an extra minute for the little princess and prince? Of course." He grinned and I smiled, relieved. "Where are we meeting?" 

"Front gates. And that's another drink I owe you." I laughed. "I might as well just buy you a cask at this rate!" 

"Yeah, well, make it a good one?" He laughed too and stepped aside to let me pass. As I did, though… "Hey, Lady Clara?" 

"Yes?" I turned back to face him, and noticed his oddly serious look. "What is it, David?" 

"I…" He began, trailing off. He stared at me before a long moment before closing his eyes with a small, small smile. "No, it's nothing important." 

"Are you sure? I do value your opinion." 

"I know. But believe me when I say it's not important." 

"If you say so." I still frowned, concerned. It had looked rather important to him, at least. "Will you promise to tell me after we've cleared things up at Dragon's Table?" 

"Of course, Lady Clara." His smile warmed. "But if we're to leave within the hour, it's best we be off." 

"Right." I still wasn't quite satisfied, but he was right, so I nodded and smiled. "I'll see you at the front gates." 

"At the gates." He turned and rushed off, still carrying those damn baskets. I watched him leave before running off again, making a mental checklist of everything I'd need. 

I had to be prepared. This battle… this battle would decide the fate of the war. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: It's not really said when Libra enters the church, I think, only that his parents abandoned him as a child, resulting in a scar on the back of his neck. Stahl's supports reveal that his family owns an apothecary (and that his brother has taken up the family trade). 
> 
> Next Chapter – Shattered Resolve 


	10. Chapter 10) Broken Resolve

Chapter 10) Shattered Resolve 

* * *

Blood. Blood was everywhere. _Everywhere_. In the sand. On the sheets. On the tents. On the people. Fresh and running. Dried and cracked. Everywhere. 

"Someone, get me casualty reports!" I snapped, dismounting from my horse. I gave it to someone else to rub down while I strode through the camp. It was chaotic, people desperately trying to survive and save their friends while also bleeding out. Their eyes lit up when they saw me. It made me feel nauseous. "Also get me scouting reports at once!" 

"Lady Clara, I'm going to direct the rest of ours to assist with the injured," David called. I glanced back to see him hand off the horses to others. "Do you need me for anything?" 

"No, please, assist where you're able!" I longed to do so myself, but I couldn't. I _needed_ that information, and I needed it now if I was to have any chance of turning this around. The problem was… I almost thought we needed to just retreat and take another route. But the other routes were just as deadly, and so many had died here. If I didn't fix this, their lives would've been wasted. Their deaths, for nothing. I had to make it worth something. I had to. This was to save the world, and I had to fix things, or otherwise… otherwise… 

It was a relief when the reports did start tumbling in. They helped me not think. For a while. But then the numbers started processing, and instead, I felt even more nauseous. So many dead. So many. We had bodies mummifying in the sun because there was simply no time to retrieve them. Worse, we even _lost_ some bodies due to a freak sandstorm that coated everything, from the corpses to the blood. Impossible to find, even more impossible to dig up. 

Then we had the number of enemies. All of the Grimleal seemed to be fighting. Messes upon messes of curses, and their Hierophant, a bastard named Validar, led them with brutal efficiency. They desecrated their own damn dead and walked on the corpses, just to get to ours a little faster. Powerful magic, pragmatism to the point of ruthlessness… we were basically fighting the incarnations of Grima, based on the tales. We absolutely had to win. We couldn't kill the Vessels if we couldn't destroy their soldiers. We had to… 

"What a giant mess…" I sighed, resting my face in my hands. I was at some makeshift desk set up for me, trying to make sense of everything. But I couldn't. I couldn't even figure out how the hell… or what the hell… "Argh…!" I leaned back in my chair, throwing my hands up in the air as I glared at the ceiling of the tent. "Gods, you could make our job easier, damn it! We're trying to save the world, here!" 

No response. No reply. As could be expected, of course, but it was still annoying. 

"Ugh, whatever…" I stretched out my neck carefully, and went back to work, looking over the reports. The casualty ones, though, made me tear up and I had to stop again, breathing in deeply to keep from outright crying. 

We were saving the world. Deaths were to be expected. Lofty goals had lofty sacrifices. It made sense. It made sense. But there were just so many dead. So many. Worse than what Adair had said. I wasn't sure if I could fix this. I wondered if I should just cut my losses, but then the ones who died would've died for nothing. Their sacrifices, wasted. I had to keep going. I had to make it worth something. 

Besides, maybe the Vessels were really here. Maybe that's why the Grimleal were fighting so desperately. If that was the case, if I could break through, then maybe I could kill the Vessels right now. They were the real target, after all. If they died, then the war was worth it. If they died, we'd save the world. 

I absolutely had to break through the enemy lines, then. This battle would determine the war. If I was in any way lucky, it could possibly end it. If we killed the Vessels, then we could use their presence as proof of our justice. We could force King Bran to sit down and negotiate with us, instead of him sending our broken messengers back in pieces. 

I took another deep breath, held it, and breathed it out slowly, looking back at the reports. Each death was a sacrifice I'd bear, and I'd bear it until I was at the end. Each drop of blood… it stained me, but I'd endure. For the sake of the world, for the sake of a world where my family would be safe… 

I couldn't falter. I had… I had to make it worth _something_ , damn it. Otherwise, I... 

* * *

I'd spent the better part of an evening determining some sort of battle plan, and the better part of three days or so refining it as we got more reinforcements. In between, I helped out in the infirmary, mostly holding people down as their limbs were amputated. We ran out of numbing and sedation herbs. Even the ones I'd brought with me. Even the ones reinforcements brought with them. Too many injured. Too many crippled. 

I got a first hand look as to why that was when we finally went to battle. The long-ranged Mire, the shadow spikes of Ruin… And sorcerers purposely letting themselves be killed to unleash powerful, Vengeance-fueled final strikes. I lost three squads to that alone in the first five minutes. 

"Falcon Knights, you're on full healer duty! Stop doing anything else! It cannot be afforded!" I shouted orders through the chaos, barely keeping some semblance of order within it. Formation had fallen apart long ago. "Only fight in retaliation!" 

A few spells whizzed by me, and I made myself not flinch. Instead, I stared unblinkingly towards them, knowing that it would make them cower. Make them flinch. If they flinched, they'd be opened. I'd turn their fear against them. 

"Cavaliers, just dismount! The ground is far too sandy and shifting for you!" Not to mention that the horses could be better used to get the injured out of the way. "Stop giving the enemy advantages! They have enough!" 

A pegasus and wyvern, locked in combat even as they fell, hit the ground next to me. Blood splattered me, and I whirled to cut off the wyvern's head as bloody feathers stuck awkwardly to my face and neck. 

"Archers, stop trying to outsnipe the Mire users! Their reach is longer than yours!" I hated that they had so many. It was hard to defend against something that began just out of sight. "Cover your allies! Work on those closer!" 

Bodies were everywhere. Blood was everywhere. But I could actually see the end. We weren't far from Dragon's Table. We were slowly eroding them, even though we lost large chunks of ourselves along the way. Just a bit more… just a bit more, and we could win this. I knew we could, and then the dead could rest and… 

"Lady Clara!" It happened too fast. One second…. No, one _blink_ everything was fine. The next, a powerful spell of purple-black fire raced for me. The third, someone was in front of me. The fourth, there was blood everywhere and their body was falling. 

I caught the body instinctively, kneeling down to cradle them as I tried to piece together what happened. But by the time I realized it was David and that David had intercepted a spell for me, that David had shielded me from death… he'd passed. He was dead. He had a smile on his face. His body was already cooling. 

I looked up slowly, feeling like I was swimming through ice water. Cold, far too cold, and in so much pain that I couldn't even scream. Hazy from it all, really. My eyes swept over the area, hunting for the one who cast that spell. I figured it out quickly, perhaps too quickly. 

Though everyone else had faded away to shadows, mushy bits of red and black and white, he stood out. He was solid, smirking, the same man from before. Red eyes glittering with keen intelligence. Lean body with sharp features. Dark hair, as black as the shadows. The strange headdress. Hierophant Validar. 

A… scream? Shriek? Screech? Howl? Bellow? I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure of the word for the sound I loosed. Raw rage, pain, frustration… everything I felt overwhelmed me, and echoed off the corpses and sand as I lunged forward, blade out, straight for Validar. Spells whipped past me, arrows. Lances and swords and axes clanged against my armor. Arrows fell on me, shredding my cape. Destroying my hair tie so that my hair fell awkwardly, clinging painfully to my neck and armor because of all the blood. 

I didn't care, though. I charged forward, breaking through their front lines. Leaping over soldiers and slamming them down on their own weapons. Ducking and weaving while keeping my straight course, so that they destroyed their own allies. All so that I could reach him sooner. That damn smirking man who… who… 

He waited. He waited for me, with that insufferable smirk, and brought up his hand when I was close, to strike me down at point-blank range. In that split-second, I decided that he wasn't going to be my first target. Mages were helpless without their tomes, after all, so I dodged, the spell flickering past me, and I had the sheer pleasure of seeing his eyes widen and that smirk fall before I threw all my strength and weight into a single strike to his damn tome. 

It erupted into black fire as soon as I did, black ink spiraling out like blood as it flew from his hand. I caught it, ignoring the pain the flames caused, and dropped it to strike down a second time. The sword went through the cover, the first few pages… the second few… the third… the fourth… slowly but surely, black ink seeping from the ruined pages and black fire ripping through the air, me, and Validar. 

When I got about halfway, it more or less exploded, the shockwave sending me flying back, the breath knocked out of me even as I scrambled to my feet. Coughing, throat raw from screaming, I managed to draw myself up and brought up my sword. But it was broken, fragile. I could track my flight by looking at the shards left behind. But that was fine. That was fine, because while I was burnt and bruised, clanging because of how dented my armor was… Validar, who wore no armor, was bleeding, badly. Those nearby were bleeding out, their life's breaths escaping. The tome itself laid still, empty, in a puddle of black ink so thick and vile that the sand didn't want to claim it. 

I coughed again, this time tasting blood. It was possibly just from my throat. It was possibly from internal injuries. It was possibly just from biting my tongue too hard or something. But I didn't care. I walked forward, holding myself as high as I could while everything throbbed, towards Validar, broken sword in hand. He watched me, glaring, like he couldn't believe I dared do that. Dared hurt him. Dared to do more. 

"Lord Validar, you must retreat!" One Grimleal, robes half-falling off because of all the blood, knelt by Validar then. "Not just for yourself," they hissed, strangely insistent. What bits I could see of their face was ashen. "Lady Raven… your children…" 

"What?" Validar looked to the other, eyes narrowed. "What of them?" he asked. It was hard to say if his tone was annoyed or worried. "They should be below. They're safe." 

"They're missing." 

"…How?" 

"We don't know." 

"…Fine." Validar stood slowly, eyeing me warily. I held up my broken sword, ready to use it. Even a broken sword was sharp. "You are… such a strange woman. Fighting fate as you do. It's already written." 

"Well, I never claimed to be a smart woman," I retorted. I lunged to strike, but the Grimeal shielded him without a second thought. I faltered as they fell, remembering David, the hilt clattering from my hand. The rest of the blade had snapped off in their chest. "That…" 

"You win this battle, Holy Swordsman," Validar murmured. He smirked despite the pain, eyes glinting in triumph despite my supposed victory. "You win this war, really. I hope you enjoy your… precious victory." 

He disappeared then, wrapping in shadows and vanishing from sight. The Grimleal retreated almost immediately afterwards, leaving the way open to Plegia's capital. But that way was lined with broken corpses. Their life's blood pooling and seeping into the sands. I stood there, dripping with blood, in the middle of a battlefield filling with sobbing screams, shrieking wails, Thinking of his words. Victory. We'd won. I should be happy. We'd won. We could win this war. 

But I stared at everything, heard everything, and I couldn't help but wonder. Could someone _really_ save the world with so many corpses in their wake? So much blood? I had no answer. No answer, at least, that could satisfy the echoing silence the corpses left. 

'Enjoy your precious victory'. But never had victory felt so draining, so bitter. Was it worth it? Was this something I could fix? I didn't know. I didn't. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I'm going to remind everyone here. This is not meant to be a long story; we're 8~ chapters from the end, give or take. This is also not going to be a happy story. It's not going to be a happy one at all. 
> 
> Validar's wife is never named in game, so I picked the name 'Raven' to match 'Robin' (and 'Kestrel'). 
> 
> Next Chapter – Fractured 


	11. Chapter 11) Fractured

Chapter 11) Fractured 

* * *

"Well, the battle is over now." I kept my voice soft, light. Despite how tired I was. Despite how much I still hurt. If I pretended everything was fine, maybe it would be. "Scouts have reported that the Grimleal really have left, though there's no sign of the Vessels. Sadly. If they'd been here, we could've just killed them." 

There was no answer. Of course there wasn't. I was, after all, talking to David's corpse, trying to clean off the last of the muck and blood on his face and neck. It would make it easier for the healers to stave off decomposition long enough to bring him home. 

"Did you ever learn that part about the war? I can't remember who knows and who doesn't anymore. It all blurs together really." It probably wasn't safe to ramble like this. Someone could walk up at any time to give me a report. Someone could walk up to say goodbye to a dead friend. But I couldn't help it. I had to talk, to fight back something building painfully in my chest. "Then again, I'm not even sure…" 

It was easy to imagine David giving me a curious look and reassuring words. Hell, his corpse was still smiling slightly. But there were no words. There was just deafening silence. I was the only one out here, still. It strangely wasn't comforting. 

"Well, I suppose it doesn't matter. I'm a soldier in a war, a general leading people. They look to me for hope, even with all the blood." I brushed the hair out of his face and fixed his shirt's collar. "…I'll figure out some way to end this war, David. I promised Adair, and I'll promise you too. I'll manage it. Somehow. Promise." 

No reaction, of course. I rested my hand on his chest, half-hoping his heart would suddenly start beating again. But of course, it didn't. After all, that magic attack he saved me from… it had torn a hole through that heart. If it had hit me, at the angle I was at thanks to all the damn sand? It likely would've bypassed my armor and gone straight through my neck. He'd saved my life, and died for it. 

"I'm sorry, David. I'm so sorry." I repeated the words in broken Ancient Ylissean, and then laughed at how ridiculous I was being. Here I was, at the crack of dawn, talking to a corpse like it could reply. I was, at least, in clean clothes, but my hair was messy and tangled from sleep still, just pulled back in a ponytail to get it out of my face. My bandages stuck and pulled on the skin around my wounds; I was sure I'd reopened a few. It was ridiculous. Pathetic, in fact. I was pathetic. 

Sighing, I sat back on my heels and pulled one of my silver starburst pendants out of my pocket. It took a bit of maneuvering, but I managed to get it over David's head and around his neck. I tucked it under the collar, but that was mostly a personal thing. I didn't have enough for _all_ of the dead, no matter how much I wanted to, and this didn't really feel fair. But, at the moment, I didn't feel like being 'fair'. 

"Right, well, you're decent for travel." I stood up then, grimacing and hissing as pain pricked me. A quick look at my legs proved that I had reopened wounds, just as I'd thought. There was blood drops in the sand. "I'm… going to be busy. So, I'm not sure if I'll actually be able to attend your funeral. I will, if I can. But I'm not sure." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, bowing my head. "So, goodbye, David. I'm sorry. Thank you." 

I walked off then, to head into the camp. I paused at the edge, though, and looked back, unable to help it. If my heart wasn't already broken, it would've shattered at the sight of hundreds of corpses stretched out towards the horizon. All those who had died to secure Dragon's Table were being prepared for the trip home and burial. They would be leaving ahead of me; there were far too many to make it a single trip. 

I turned away again and limped my way into the secondary infirmary as the camp began finally stirring with the dawn. It wasn't common to keep a second infirmary, but the main one was just too full for simple check ups. The herbalists mostly set up there, to free up the healers to tend to those confined in bed. And, of course, it was always manned, because there were still far too many injured. 

"You must be careful moving," one chided after giving me a brisk and efficient check over. Now, she bandaged my injuries up and it took me a long moment to remember her name: Chelsea. "You were gravely injured." 

"I'm sorry," I murmured, trying not to squirm in my chair. There wasn't anything else to say, really. It might as well be the first thing out of my mouth to everyone I spoke to at this point. "Am I well enough to ride? I must return to the capital and give a report." 

"You need to wait another day, I think." She finished bandaging one leg and switched to the other with practiced ease. It hurt my heart a bit, mostly because she only looked to be about fifteen, give or take. "Must you return, though?" 

"I need to let Adair know, and honestly, we'll need more supplies." I made myself smile. "I won't be long. I'll run to the capital, and then return, and we'll push forward to make a camp beyond the Table." 

"Where we'll rest once more for spies, scouts, and the like to lay siege to the capital." She looked up at me, and smiled bitterly. "Forgive me, Lady Clara, but I'm sincerely hoping the fighting stops soon." 

"That's what I'm trying to do." I smiled tiredly back. "I swear I am." 

"We know, Lady Clara." She tied off the bandage. "I fear the people don't, though. All they will see are the dead." 

"That's okay." I tried to laugh, but it sounded hollow even to my own ears. "I'm just trying to do the right thing. Even if I mess it up, I am obligated to do the right thing." 

I just wasn't so certain I _was_ doing the right thing anymore. But what other choice did I have at this point? 

* * *

The list of things I expected when returning home included a few things. Riding past people in mourning garb, greeting Candace in the castle, reassurances that the dead were being delivered to their families, innocent smiles and welcomes from Emm and Chrom, some smiths to take my armor for repairs. And all of that happened, more or less in that order, in fact. But there was one thing on the list that didn't happen. I expected a calm, sorrowful Adair. I got a ranting, angry one. 

"How could you have just retreated?!" His words cracked against the wall and made me wince. He hadn't yelled at anyone, much less me, in years. "You had them on the run!" he snapped, glaring at me. He was tense enough to shake, and he clenched his fists at his side, like he was holding back a punch. "Why didn't you pursue?!" 

"Because I didn't want to lose the remaining quarter of soldiers that we have, you nitwit!" I retorted, bristling. It helped hide how lost and confused I felt. He wasn't one for violence. He wasn't one for yelling. Not unless someone struck first, but I certainly hadn't done that. "Did you not read past that sentence in my damn report? We have enough dead to fill a lake! There's going to be funerals for months! People are going to go hungry from the costs!" 

"That's not-!" 

"I am not killing people for your damn ego, Adair! I am doing it for the same reason you let them pressure you into war! The world is at stake!" My words echoed back harshly and I ground my teeth and settled my feet in response. If he struck, I'd strike back. His own tense posture told me he knew that. After all, that's how we were taught. We did not _seek_ out battles, but by the gods, if the fight was brought to us, we were going to win. That's why we were stuck in this situation. That was why all the deaths shook me. 

But if it was just as simple as him punching me from frustration? Gods, I'd knock out his teeth and apologize to Candace later for it. Especially now, when I couldn't check myself so easily. 

We stood there glaring at each other for a very, very long moment. My entire body ached from having to keep so tense, and little bits of burning hinted I might've reopened some injuries. But I remained perfectly still, posture straight and tall. At the moment, it didn't matter that Adair was my Exalt. It didn't matter that he was my best friend, practically my brother. I wasn't going to take getting yelled at lying down. Not with everything I saw. 

Finally, he broke eye contact first. He looked to the side before looking down, and slowly, he relaxed. "I'm sorry," he whispered. I still held myself firm. "I'm sorry, Clara. I shouldn't have snapped. You're absolutely right." 

"Damn straight I am," I growled. Still, I did allow myself to relax as well, though not all the way. I still kept myself somewhat rigid. I was still hurt that he'd yell at me. "It was a costly victory." I flinched when he winced, through, and relaxed more. "It was a very costly victory. Is there a chance of sending a messenger?" 

"The last one was killed." He turned away sharply, and I frowned slightly. The last one I knew of was Maya. Had he sent one while I was away? It was certainly possible, but I would've thought… he would've told me, right? "Regardless, though, you're clearly injured. If your second, David, is available-" 

"He's not. He's dead." The words choked me as they struggled to come out. I coughed to clear my throat and looked down. "He died protecting me." 

"Full honors." There was the sound of scribbling, like he was making a quick note. But then there was silence. "Clara?" 

"Yeah?" I still looked down. I coughed a bit more to clear my throat. "What is it?" 

"…I'm sorry." He closed the distance between us in two long strides and gathered me up in a gentle hug. "I'm sorry, Clara." 

"I am too." I sighed and leaned into him, resting my face on his shoulder. "But what choice do we have, right? We can't let them bring back Grima." 

"No, we can't. It's my duty, as the Exalt, to stop it. Our duty, as Ylisseans, to stop it." He stepped back and peered worriedly at my face, gripping my shoulders. "But that wasn't what I was apologizing for. I know he was… he was as close of a friend that you get." 

"…People die, Adair." The words were quiet, but I felt my expression blank. I felt icy numbness lance through me. He died. He died protecting me. I missed him. I prayed I'd be worthy of his sacrifice. I also knew I never would be. "He's not the only one who died, Adair." 

"Well, yes, but…" He struggled for words before shaking his head with a rueful smile. "No, never mind." He stepped away and returned to his desk, sitting down. "Rest while you can, Clara. I'll need you back out there soon." 

"I figured. I mostly came back to bring the dead, and to get more supplies." I closed my eyes to regain my calm and opened them again. "If you've people to spare here, I'll take them as well. Even just people to serve as messengers will help." 

"That low, huh?" Adair leaned back in his chair, frowning. "Well, it'll be fine. I'm conscripting the farmers. The peasants." 

"You're what." I stared at him, slack jawed, certain that I misheard. But his calm expression told me that I hadn't. "Adair, we're in the middle of the harvest!" If we took the peasants from the fields, the crops would rot in the ground. We were already on a lean year, and the army had devoured most of the stores saved for bad years like now. "We can't take them! They'll starve!" 

"They're needed more as soldiers." He said the words softly, but I knew the tone. The 'I am not budging' tone that I knew better than to argue against. "They won't have to worry about food if we don't end this." He picked up one of his papers. "You need to rest, Clara." 

"That's…" I wanted to continue protesting, even though I knew it was pointless. But he was already ignoring me, going back to work. "I pray you don't regret this, Adair." 

I left without another word, but as I closed the door behind me, I leaned against it and tilted my head back. I closed my eyes as I felt tears prick them, desperately trying to not cry. Because, honestly, I prayed I wouldn't regret this too. But, at this point, I wasn't sure if the gods were actually listening to anyone anymore, much less me. 

* * *

I went to the infirmary to get my injuries looked at, and from there, I had tea with Candace, pretending everything was fine. She pretended the same, and I read some stories to Emm and Chrom before having a delightful family meal with everyone. After all that, though, I knew there was one more place I had to visit before I went to bed. But I wasn't looking forward to it. I dreaded it. 

It took a couple of servants to lead me to where David's sister worked, mostly because it took me forever to remember her name was Elaine. When I reached the room, I hesitated briefly before knocking on the door. There was a quiet 'come in', and so I tentatively stepped inside, feeling like I was going to throw up or cry or something. 

The room was simple, but that made sense, considering everything. Elaine worked in a study not far from her rooms, and because of her skill, it was her own personal study. It was organized neatly, everything set aside with a purpose. I wished I knew more about sewing so that I could distract myself more, but honestly, all I really could see was fabric, thread, pins, and… well, things like that. Nothing about what the process would be, or the sense to the organization. 

Elaine herself was seated in the corner, sewing a dress made of black velvet. Most of the fabrics in the room were dark like that, including the dress she wore. She continued sewing even as I lingered awkwardly in the door, and only looked up after she tied off a thread. "I was waiting for you to say something, Lady Clara," she gently chided. She met my gaze calmly, dried eyed, but I could see how her eyes were bloodshot. "Since you knocked." 

"I didn't want to interrupt your work," I replied, not even really lying. Though, I mostly had wanted the extra time to collect my thoughts. "I hadn't realized you'd be working at this late of an hour." 

"Sewing is calming." She set her work to the side and stood up slowly, clasping her hands in front of her. "So, what brings you here? At this late of an hour. You're injured, from my understanding." 

"I am hardly the worst injured. I could travel." I thought about breaking eye contact with her, because of my own nerves, but I knew I couldn't. I owed her this. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry about David." 

"…Ah." Her calm expression crumpled in an instant, and her eyes wavered with tears. "Well, that's…" She bit her lip briefly before nodding. Her clasped hands shook in front of her. "Not quite what I expected, I suppose." 

"What did you think I'd say?" 

"Something about how he died bravely, or how his sacrifice will not be forgotten." 

"Well, he did and it won't. If nothing else, I will remember him to the end of my days, however long or short those may be." I continued holding her gaze, though I did have to lean against the doorframe to hide my own shaking. "But that doesn't change the pain you feel. All the honors in the world doesn't change that he's gone." 

"That's true." She smiled bitterly. "Are you apologizing to every family that lost someone?" 

"I would if I could." I'd wander the lands, forever apologizing, if I could. "I don't have the time, though. I'll be sent back to the front soon to secure the Table." 

"Is it not already?" 

"We've cleared the area, but I wanted the injured to recover, and I wanted the dead identified and brought home. So I ordered them to wait." 

"That's… understandable. Certainly, I'm glad to have a body before the rot really set in." She looked down briefly before meeting my gaze again. Her eyes were bright, but she refused to cry. "So, why come specifically to me?" 

"…He was my Second. He was my friend. And I got him killed because I didn't pay attention." I bowed to her, as much as my injuries allowed. "Well, I suppose I got a lot of people killed with this battle. But he was my friend. So, I suppose that is the main reason. He was my friend, and it is always harder bearing the pain of someone you're close to." I straightened and shrugged, feeling a bit helpless. "It's probably hypocritical. But I knew I had to apologize to you." 

"Ah." She studied my face for a moment before nodding. "Well, not the worst excuse I've heard. It's clear you feel bad about it no matter what, and based on how you speak… I'm assuming you're not seeking forgiveness." 

"At this point, I don't think even a god will _forgive_ me." I had to laugh softly at it. It range hollow. "But I am a knight of the realm. I have to do what I think is right. Doing less is a disservice to the dead." 

"I suppose so." She fell silent for a brief moment before suddenly moving to the other side of the room. "You know; my brother actually got something for you. Told me to hide it here, since he was marching off." 

"He did?" I frowned, confused. "Why? My birthday isn't anywhere near close, and this isn't a season for gifts." 

"Certainly not. But this wasn't for a holiday or birthday." She plucked a small box from a random drawer and walked briskly to me. "Here." She thrust it into my face and all but dropped it when I got my hands up. "Take a look." 

"Okay?" Still confused, I carefully opened the box, and then gasped when I saw what was inside. A pair of beautiful silver and sapphire earrings, the one that had caught my eye in the market. "This is…?" 

"He bought them for you. Saw you looking at them." She looked at me with the strangest expression, sympathetic yet cold. Ready to burst into tears, and a bit of bitter triumph. "As for why? It's simple, really. He loved you." 

"He what?" My hands shook. I had to fight to keep all of me from trembling. "I… I see." I didn't, really. The words didn't quite process. "I never noticed." 

"Of course not. You're quite oblivious to anything like that, and he knew it. The bright, skilled, beautiful Holy Swordsman… any who loved you would have to be second." She smiled ruefully. "But he still fell in love with you, and he still bought you those. I don't think he would've minded being 'second'. Your devotion was one of the things that he admired, after all." She shrugged, her expression wavering again. She looked down just before she started crying. "Now, forgive me, but I wish to be alone." 

"O-of course." I bowed to her again, closing the box and clutching it to my chest. "I'm sorry to bother you." 

"Sleep well, Lady Clara." 

"And you, Miss Elaine." I all-but-fled from her study, and I didn't stop at all until I made it to my room. Once there, though, I collapsed onto my bed, breathing heavily as I struggled to not… something. Struggled against something. 

Shakily, I opened the box again, as if the run had somehow changed the contents. Of course not, though. The earrings were still there, and David had still bought them for me. He'd bought them because he… he had apparently loved me and had just wanted to get me a present. He'd been my friend, and he died protecting me. 

Slowly, I took out my typical earrings, simple silver hoops, and I slipped the silver and sapphire earrings on. I choked out a laugh as I felt their weight, and I pushed myself up to go to the bathroom mirror. Just to see my reflection. But I didn't make it. I couldn't manage a single step before falling back on the bed and sobbing, realizing that this was what I'd been fighting back. A total breakdown. 

I half-wondered if she told me as revenge. Revenge for getting her brother killed. Revenge for not ending this stupid war sooner. Revenge for not noticing. I certainly felt all the worse for it, at least, and so, I just cried. I cried and cried and pretended the world didn't exist for a few hours. I just didn't have the energy for anything more. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's notes: Chrom mentions in Awakening that farmers who could barely wield pitchforks were conscripted, and that soon after, Ylisse ran out of food. Here's my version of just why that was. In her cameo in _Shadows of the Shepherds_ , Clara wears silver and sapphire earrings. Here's where she got them. 'Maya' is mentioned in chapter 2, the pegasus knight messenger that came back in pieces. David's sister was briefly mentioned in chapter 3. 
> 
> Next Chapter – Crimson Stains 


	12. Chapter 12) Crimson Stains

Chapter 12) Crimson Stains 

* * *

Adair's words became a soldier's law very fast, almost too fast. Common folk, from farmers in the fields to laborers in the ghettos, were rounded up and forced into the army. They didn't even have a token lesson before I had to march. This was ridiculous. This was absolutely ridiculous. I almost felt like laughing. I would've, in fact, if I weren't so certain I'd break down in sobs. 

I watched them train with the most stoic expression I could manage. I insisted on lessons every time we stopped for rest. It was all I could do for them, really. I'd prefer to let them go, but at this point, they'd be tried as deserters. When I actually arrived in camp, I'd try to keep them back. Messengers, camp guards. Anything, really. Because there wasn't enough time to turn farmers into soldiers. Not for a real battle. There wasn't enough time to develop the muscle memory, especially with an unfamiliar weapon, and there wasn't enough time for them to gain the strength to wield anything greater than a bronze weapon. 

I watched, though. I watched, did my best to learn their faces. Everything in the world was going wrong. None of this should be happening. Why did things get so desperate? Why did the Grimleal even want to bring back Grima? 

"Your grip is off," I murmured, stepping into the lines to fix one laborer's hands. "You should keep them apart like this." 

"Why this way?" the man asked. He had darker skin than many here, hinting to some Feroxi heritage, and bright blonde hair. "I asked and just got a 'because'." 

"This way will keep the lance more stable when you stab someone." I did my best to smile, but I knew it was bitter, if that. It felt more like a twist of the mouth, the motions but not the gesture. "It'll also make it less likely for the lance to be ripped out of your hands." 

"I suppose that makes some sense. Maybe." He shrugged, but did the drill again with the correct grip. I watched, noticing other things wrong. His footing, for one thing. "Feels off." 

"You're not used to it." I nudged his feet to try and fix his stance. "Your build is probably better suited to an axe anyway." 

"That makes sense. I was a lumberjack before getting drafted." 

"Where did you live?" 

"Slums. Area is already feeling the loss of food." That time, his thrust had a lot more steel in it. "My boy should be fine, though. Maybe." 

"You have a son?" 

"Yep!" He smiled, then, and laughed. "Strong boy, but a tad forgetful. His passion exceeds his sense, sadly. But I love him." 

"Sounds like he'd get along with Chrom." Of course, the chances of a kid from the slums meeting Chrom were low. Though, stranger things had happened. I was a commoner who rose up beyond her 'station'. Maybe his son could too. "What's your name?" 

"Harold, Lady Clara." 

"Well, Harold, I'll do what I can to try and get you home to your boy." 

"…Thank you, miss." The smile he gave me implied that, while he believed my sincerity, he didn't think any of them were making out of this next fight alive. I couldn't blame him. "Is my grip off again?" 

"It is. Here. Let me show you again" 

* * *

We met up with the soldiers I left behind, checked that they were ready for battle, and pushed forward, beyond Dragon's Table. Plegia, of course, had soldiers set up, so we had to fight for every step we took. It was a relatively short, but bloody, battle. But, with the victory came a sense of finality. From here, we had a straight shot to Plegia's castle. A straight shot… one more push, and maybe, just maybe, this war could actually end. 

Of course, holding down a boy of barely sixteen while a healer chopped off his leg because it was too infected to heal… well, 'the war can end' was a very far thought. 

"Lady Clara, you need to get your arm looked at," someone chided. Everyone was so damn grimy and bloody that I honestly couldn't tell who it was. Only that they were a healer, because their hands were clean. "That boy bit through…" 

"I'll get it looked at later," I retorted. I winced, wishing that the words hadn't been so terse, but I was tired. We were all tired. "When there's less going on." 

"It's not uncommon for bite wounds to infect-" 

"I know. But it won't kill me. At worse, you'll just have to remove the arm like we're removing the others." I honestly wouldn't have cared. It would've given me an excuse to _stop_. "Who needs to be held down next?" 

"…Over here, my lady." They led me to the next one, who had to lose a hand. Then another, who had to lose both legs. And another. And another. 

They all blended together in my head, a mess of blood and limbs. The screams and tears faded into white noise. The exhaustion greyed everything until all I could feel was apathy. It was just impossible to keep track of anything. I could even keep up with how many times my arms were bitten, desperately trying to keep someone from biting their own tongue out. I missed a few; they bled out. So did others, because no one could get a tourniquet on them in time. 

Time only started again when someone forcibly sat me down to tend to my arms. I almost protested, but the burning all up my arms showed why I'd been pulled away. Both of my arms, from my hands to my shoulders, were covered in bite wounds. Some went over the wounds I'd sustained in battle, in fact. Most of my injuries were infected, and had to be bandaged again. My clothes were so covered in dirt, blood, and whatever else was flying about that they were stripped off me to be boiled into rags. Someone else brought me fresh clothes to change into, and pushed me out of the infirmary, saying that I was done for the day. 

I promptly went to help move the dead from the field so that they could be tended to and brought home. 

The bodies smelled horrible. I stained my bandages and clothes carrying them. But I didn't shirk the duty, even as my world shrunk to just whatever happened to be in front of me. I shook off people's help, silently ordering them to tend to the others. I ended up carrying the younger victims, those who were barely fifteen. A couple were probably thirteen, even, who had lied when asked their age. I wished they'd lied and said they were younger. It might've bought them a few more months of life. 

I only cleaned one of the dead: Harold. He'd been riddled with arrows. I carefully pulled them all out and used a wet rag to wipe away the grime and blood. As I did, I learned that he'd taught the others what I had taught him, and that had saved quite a few of their lives. I also learned he got the arrows protecting one of the younger draftees. 

"You were far too good of a person to die like this," I whispered to the corpse. I slipped one of my silver-star pendants around his neck. "I'm sorry I couldn't do better." 

There was no answer, of course, and I thought it fitting. Apologize as much as you wanted to the dead. You'd only hear their unforgiving silence in return, and there was no forgiving me for any of this. 

* * *

With the dead in tow, I returned to the capital with most of the surviving soldiers. Most of the peasants had been slaughtered. It was only to be expected. Some of them had never held a weapon in their life. A couple weeks of training weren't going to do a thing in a full-out battle. Maybe if there had been only one or two, it could be done. One or two could be watching out for. But so many? They were basically just living meat shields to protect the soldiers, and gods above, I hated everything. Myself especially, for not being able to pull more of them off the field. I tried, but clearly, I should've tried harder. I didn't, and they paid for it. 

"So, that's the casualty report?" Adair murmured. He was perfectly calm, leaning casually against his desk. I was also calm, but mostly because I was just far too tired to emote. "I see." He glanced at some papers and nodded. "We'll need to send the scouts." 

"We do," I agreed. I frowned, though. It took almost everything I had to do that. My voice was almost monotone. "But that's it?" 

"What's it?" 

"Adair, they are… they all…" 

"They died valiantly, and thus, we must push forward." He looked back at me with a serious look. "If we don't, then they died for nothing." 

"I…" I deflated instantly. He was right. If we stopped now, then all the deaths, sacrifices, and pain… it would all be wasted. It would all be meaningless. I couldn't do that. I couldn't. I, of all people, had to make this worth _something_. "Sorry." 

"You're tired, Clara. And I'm sorry." Adair came over and gave me a warm hug. I rested my forehead against his shoulder. "You've barely had any breaks. Just a bit more. The end of the war is in sight. And when this is over, let's have another picnic." 

"A picnic does sound nice." I closed my eyes, remembering the last one. It had been nice. David had been alive. I'd gotten to eat Candace's cooking. Played tag with Emm and Chrom. It had been so long since I'd played with either of them. "I'm exhausted, Adair." 

"Just a bit more. You can do it." 

"Yeah, I know. I promised." I pulled back, and finally managed a smile at him. "Try to send a letter to the families." 

"I will. You go rest." He nudged me out the door. "We'll have some wine later." 

"I'll need a bottle for myself." 

"I'll have plenty. Go on." He shut the door behind me, and I leaned against the wall, closing my eyes. A little more. Just a little more… 

"Clar!" Chrom's happy voice startled me, and my hand automatically fell to my sword. But I relaxed when he hugged me, tilting his head up to rest on my leg. "You're back!" he cheered, smiling. "Missed you." 

"I missed you too, Chrom," I murmured. I reached down to ruffle his hair, but I paused. For a split second, I saw crimson staining my hand. Another blink, and it was gone, except it wasn't. All this blood on me… all these deaths… they were there. They'd never go away. 

"Clar?" Chrom's smile faded. "Clar, what's wrong?" 

"It's nothing, Chrom." I made myself smile. Luckily, he was young enough to not notice a lie, or a fake smile. "I'm just very tired." 

"So, no play?" 

"Later. We'll play later. After dinner." 

"Promise?" 

"Promise." 

"Okay." He let go of my leg, but immediately snatched my hand. I almost jerked away, scared that the blood would stain him. "Come on! Mommy misses you too!" 

Chrom led me off, and as he did, I asked passing servants about news. The most startling piece of news was that it had only been three months since I'd learned about Candace's pregnancy. Just three months, the longest I'd ever lived, and I knew it was about to get much, much worse. 

The servants confirmed what I'd already suspected, and even warned Adair about. Food stores were low, and what little there was… it had been seized by the army. Crops were already rotting in the fields, and there weren't enough hands to salvage what remained. I gave it a week before everyone noticed the food shortage, and when that happened… I had to end this quickly. I had to. Not just for Candace's unborn child. If I didn't end this quickly, Ylisse itself might not survive. 

This was my fault. This was all my fault. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter - Starved 


	13. Chapter 13) Starved

Chapter 13) Starved 

* * *

I winced as I walked through the market with my carefully covered basket. The prices in the market had risen significantly for bits of food of horribly low quality. It broke my heart to see people desperately buying those bits. It was almost as bad as walking past children crying to their parents over how hungry they were, and their parents not knowing what to do. 

It hadn't taken long for the people to notice the distinct lack of food, and as soon as that happened, pandemonium ensued. No one had starved to death yet, from what I understood, but we did have some die resisting soldiers who took their food for the army. A few others died fighting over what little remained, or coin to buy the food at inflated prices. Crimes had spiked, robbery and murder. The churches were filled with newly abandoned children, thrown out in a desperate and ruthless attempt to save the rest. And here I was, helpless to do much of anything. 

I walked out of the market and made my way towards the ghettos of Ylisstol. The people here had rarely had the coin to buy the food at the 'normal' prices, so the sudden spike had left many in dire straits. So, as I had over the past couple of days, I smuggled some bits of food out and prayed they'd be enough to help them get by just a little longer. 

A small sniffle caught my attention and I frowned, looking around worriedly. A flash of red held my attention, and my breath caught, scared it was blood. But then the 'red' moved and I realized it was just hair. Long, ratty, matted red hair, on a little girl covered with dirt and tears. She sniffed again, curling into herself, but she looked up when I approached. Her eyes were the same color as her hair, a beautiful red. Part of me wanted to just take her to the castle, but as things stood, that wouldn't have been a safe place. Not yet, anyway. 

"Here," I whispered, crouching down. I pulled one of the precious little loaves of bread I smuggled out and handed it to her. "Eat this slowly. Try to make it last." 

"…" She stared at me like she couldn't quite believe I was even here, but then she smiled shyly and clutched the bread to her chest. "Thank you," she whispered. She was a recent 'orphan', if she still had her manners. I wondered if she'd been abandoned. "Thank you very much." 

"You're welcome." I hesitated before leaning forward and kissing her forehead. "You should find a place with a bit more cover. It's going to rain." 

"Okay." Her smile grew. "Thank you." 

I watched her dart into one of the abandoned buildings of the ghetto, half wishing she'd asked to come along with me. But the palace was no place for a starving child. Nowhere was, now. So, instead, I continued on my way until I found the home of Mistress Bethany and knocked on the door. "It's me," I whispered when there was no response. "I've got a bit more." 

"Oh, thank goodness!" The door opened to reveal Mistress Bethany, a woman a bit older than me, with blonde hair falling out of a haphazard bun and sharp green eyes. "Sorry, we just had a robbery attempt," she explained, wiping her hands on her apron. "Thank you so much, my lady." 

"I really wish I could do more." I passed her the basket, and smiled bitterly. "This feels like nothing." 

"I guarantee you that I don't feel like it's 'nothing'. It's food for the children." Mistress Bethany smiled, and reached up to pat my cheek. "Goodness, you do so focus on the negative." 

"Can you blame me?" I was a knight sworn to protect the realm, and yet, the realm was falling apart. What good was a knight who couldn't protect anything? "Regardless, I'll try to swing by tomorrow with more food, providing I don't get marching orders, so please-" 

Something hit my face then, and instinctively, I whirled, hand dropping to where I normally wore my sword. But I didn't have it for this trip, and after a moment, I realized the 'something' had only been mud. The next thing thrown at me was a rock, but it just bounced off my shoulder. 

"Demon!" someone shrieked. A young voice, thick with tears and rage. "Give me back my daddy!" 

"Reaper!" That voice was older, but not quite an adult's voice either. "Leave! You only steal our families!" 

More shouts. More screams. More mud and rocks thrown at me. I let them, merely lifting my hand to guard my eyes. If I moved, then they'd hit Mistress Bethany instead. 

"Stop that right now!" she snapped, though. She set the basket down on the ground and glared at whoever attacked. I kept my head down, so I couldn't see. "Who raised you to act like animals anyway? I'm going to have a talk with your mothers and so help me…!" 

"It's fine, Mistress Bethany," I murmured. The rocks and mud stopped, so I lifted my head to smile at her. "They're not wrong. Their loved ones died under my command. Let them have their anger." 

"But…" 

"I do not help because I wish for gratitude. I do it because I want to." I bowed my head again. "I'll be going now. Please, don't…" 

"…Since you ask, Lady Clara." Her voice sounded so sad. "Please, safe trip back." 

"Pleasant day, mistress." I bowed to her and walked off. Another rock hit me square on the back of my head, but I didn't turn around. I just kept on walking, all the way back to the castle. The guards let me right in, of course, but I noticed the tension in their postures, the worry in their faces. I tried to smile reassuringly at them, but I knew it was a pathetic attempt, so I kept on walking, heading towards my room. 

However, when I reached where the royals, and trusted friends, had their bedrooms, I had to stop and stare. Because Adair and Candace, of all people, were screaming at each other. It was the strangest thing, and I half wondered if one of those rocks had given me a concussion. I had never seen them yell at each other before, and this was a full-out argument. So I stood there, frozen, not quite comprehending. I only moved when I saw Adair draw his arm back, and I automatically caught his arm before he could move it. I had no idea if he would've hit her. I didn't think either of them did either. 

There was a very long silence before Adair stormed off without another word. As soon as he disappeared from sight, Candace collapsed in tears. "I don't know what's going on anymore!" she sobbed. "Clara, what happened? Where's Adair?" She hiccupped as she kept on crying, barely able to breath. I knelt to gather her up in my arms and tried to soothe her. "Adair would never yell at me! He wouldn't draw his arm back or… why is this happening? I just suggested we stop fighting… not even stop! Just… just pause until we can gather some food! Our people are starving!" 

"I'm sorry," I whispered. It was all I could say. "I'm sorry." I repeated the words over and over again, until they were practically mush, rubbing her back as she continued to sob. A small, very small, sound eventually caught my attention, and I looked up to see the door closest to us open slightly, just enough for me to see Emm and Chrom peeking out. I stared, confused, before I realized that they'd witnessed that altercation. They'd watched their parents fight, and their father almost hit their mother. 

The fear and confusion in their eyes hurt my heart, but I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. All I could do was hold Candace, and apologize. 

* * *

I spent the rest of the day with Candace, doing my best to make her feel better. The next day, after dropping off the smuggled food with Mistress Bethany, I went to Adair's study to confront him about what the hell that had been. Instead, though, I found myself being ranted at. After all, I was the only one who ever listened to him. 

"We can't just stop a war!" he snapped, pacing furiously. He gestured wildly, fierce movements punctuating every word. "We can't pull back the soldiers when we're literally on their doorstep!" 

"You and I know that, Adair, but Candace isn't versed in war," I replied softly. I leaned against the door, arms crossed. "Besides, I don't care how angry you are. You really shouldn't hit people, Adair. Not for giving an opinion you dislike." 

"She doesn't understand! None of them do!" You're the only one who does! The only one…" He drooped, covering his face with his hands and leaning against his desk. "Clara, how can I make them understand? How…?" 

"I don't know." I fought to keep stern at him. I was just so tired, and this was my best friend. My brother. If I didn't believe in him, who would? "But…" 

"Well, whatever. It's fine. You're on my side. You're by my side. Right?" He looked up then, staring at me with a fragile expression. I winced, noting he looked just as lost as he did when his dad died. "Right?" 

"Of course I am, Adair." I had to be. If I stayed, then maybe he'd go back to normal. If I ended this war, he'd go back to normal, everything could just go back… we could be happy again. "You know that." 

"Right, right." He smiled sweetly, and my heart broke. "Thank you. I at least have one person." 

"Of course. I always keep my word." I sighed, brushing the hair behind my ear. "But you should be nicer to Candace." I couldn't believe I had to even say this to him. In the past, I used to roll my eyes at how sweet they were on each other. "Regardless, yes, we're on the edge. Have the scouts returned with more information?" 

"They've returned with even better, actually." His smile became triumphant, but there was something strangely dark about it. I couldn't figure out what it was, though. "They found us some… well, I hesitate to call them 'traitors', since they turned against Plegia. Maybe 'reformers'? Whatever." He shrugged. "The point is that we have a few, and they'll help us inside Plegia's capital, and castle." 

"Really?" I couldn't help but smile, elated. Help like that would spare so many lives. Help like that could help us end the war quickly. "That's wonderful! With their help, I might be able to end this with just one more battle!" 

"I thought so." His smile softened, that darkness disappearing. I wondered if I'd just imagined it. "I know you're incredibly tired. When was the last time you had a long break? A real long break, I mean, where you didn't have to worry about this war?" 

"It's been two years, Adair. You know that." 

"Right, that's right." He sighed, smile fading. "You've been carrying this burden with me since the beginning. No, worse, you've been shouldering the bulk of it. I'm sorry, Clara, but we're almost there." 

"Yes, we are, clearly." I relaxed, feeling like I could finally breathe. A little more… just a little more, and I could make all those deaths worth something. "Don't fret so much about me, Adair. I can make it." 

"I know, but I wish I could spare you. I wish I could spare Candace, Chrom, and Emm…" His eyes darkened. "That assassination attempt… I know you still feel horribly about it, but it's not your fault. It's mine, for not taking a stronger stance sooner." 

"No, no, we're fine. We're doing fine." 

"My weakness also cost you a dear friend." 

"David died because of our enemies, Adair." And because I was an idiot. "Relax, Adair. It's fine. We're fine. We'll be fine." 

"Yes, we will." He smiled again, and again, I thought there was something dark to it. "Just a bit more, and everything will be fine." 

"Yes, it will!" I smiled back, delighted that, despite everything, we were still on the same page, mostly. "Remember, I made you a promise. I think I still have a month and a half?" 

"You… do!" He laughed, and it was so much like his normal laugh. Yes, I just had to end this. Then he'd go back. We could fix things. We could be happy again, if I just… "Can you leave in the morning, Clara? For that final push?" 

"I will. Wish me well?" 

"Always." 

* * *

Morning came quickly, but the soldiers were ready. I wanted to leave as early as possible, to avoid the cold glares of people rightfully angry. To lessen the chances of stones and mud being thrown at my soldiers. The 'reformers' were in the base camp, ready to help us. A little more… just a little more… 

"Candace, you really didn't have to wake up so early," I chided, smiling at her. She was never a morning person. "You know I wouldn't have minded." 

"I was up anyway, thanks to the baby kicking," she explained with a little laugh. It was sadder, though. "Now, I am most surprised I could wake Emm and Chrom up." 

"So am I." I peered down at them, barely standing upright Emm and Chrom clinging to her skirts. "Are they asleep standing up?" 

"Maybe." She giggled, but it soon faded. "Clara…" 

"Easy. I'll end this." I cupped her cheek, smiling. "I will end this war for us. I promise." 

"Oh, I'm not worried about that. You always win, and you always come back. It's everything else that…" 

"I know." I had to fight to keep up my smile. "There's this lady in the ghettos, Mistress Bethany, who I've smuggled some food to. If you can…" 

"Of course." 

"But don't give them your food, Candace. You're pregnant and starving yourself will not only be bad for you." I gave her the most serious look I could. "Pay attention to the healers." 

"I will. I promise." Her eyes wavered with tears and she caught me in a warm hug. "Gods, this is all so…" 

"I know." But maybe it made sense. Maybe saving the world just required lots of sacrifices. "But it'll be over soon, Candace. I promise." 

"So many promises." 

"Promises are all I have at this point." 

"No, they aren't." She pulled away and cupped my face in her hands. "You have your morals, and your honor. You have your heart. And you'll always hold onto those. I know you will." 

"Is that an order?" I meant it as a joke, but it came out a little hollow. 

Still, she smiled. "Yes, we'll go with that. My very first order to you, isn't it?" 

"I… can't remember." It might've been the first 'serious' order, though. "But I will. I'll do my best, at least. This is war." 

"I know. But I'll believe in you, always." 

"…Gods, this is turning sappy." I made myself laugh, and it was almost normal. "We're talking like we're never going to see each other again." 

"I know. It's so strange. After all, you always come back." She smiled and stepped away, nudging Emm and Chrom. "Come on, sleepies. Aunt Clara has to leave soon." 

"Do you have to?" Emm murmured. She looked up at me with bleary eyes and a sad frown. "I'd rather you stayed." 

"I do as well, Emm, but this is my job, in a way," I replied. I knelt down to hug her, and I kissed her on the forehead. "Know that I love you, okay? You hold onto that, until I come back to remind you." 

"K…" She gave me another hug. "Love you too." 

"Love Clar too," Chrom sleepily repeated. He yawned and rubbed at his eyes. "Early…" 

"It is, huh?" I whispered. I hugged him tightly and kissed the top of his head. "When I come back, you can wake me up early in revenge." 

"Yay." He smiled, though. "Love you." 

"Love you too." I hugged them both, and then stood up to smile at them. "Okay, I'm off." 

I mounted up then, and raised my hand to order the soldiers to march. We left quickly yet order, with an air of anticipation to it. As I led the army out, I glanced back only once. Candace, Emm, and Chrom lingered, smiling and waving. I waved back and then looked up towards where Adair's study was. He was there, watching us with a stoic expression. I nodded to him, and he nodded back. 

And that was it. I didn't look back again. I looked forward, trying to steel myself. I had to end this. I had to. Otherwise… otherwise… 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: For those curious as to why Chrom remembers Clara fondly and not his father, the first scene is a reason why (it's also why Emmeryn flinched when Chrom snapped at her in _Shadows of the Shepherds_ ). He also just more strongly associates his father with the war than Clara. 'Demon' and 'Reaper' eventually become other nicknames associated with Clara ('Demon of Blades', 'Reaper of War') as briefly mentioned in _Shadows of the Shepherds_. 
> 
> Next Chapter – Purge (including the epilogue, we're four chapters away from the end) 


	14. Chapter 14) Purge

Chapter 14) Purge 

* * *

The trip into Plegia was surprisingly quiet, and so, I and mine rejoined the soldiers at the Table. From there, we marched forward until we were on the outskirts of Plegia's capital city. I couldn't remember the name. Considering everything, I wasn't sure I wanted to. It was much, much easier to be impartial when you didn't know names. 

"So, our helpers are being treated well?" I asked, following one of the scouts through the fort we'd taken as our own for the night. After settling in, I insisted on meeting with the 'reformers' Adair had mentioned. It felt only polite, since they were giving us a huge advantage. "No complaints?" 

"Nothing important, my lady," the soldier replied easily but formally. I didn't know their name, and my heart keened as I thought about David. He would've told me what that 'nothing important' was anyway. "They're here." They stopped suddenly in front of a room. "I'll wait outside." 

"There's no need for that." I sighed when they didn't move. "Fine, fine." I knocked on the door before opening it. "Sorry to disturb you!" I stepped inside and smiled at the three inside. They were dressed well, and looked more or less healthy, but they faced me stoically, barely looking up from their card game at the table. "You are doing okay, yes?" 

"We've been better," one replied neutrally. The other two simply glared. "But we're not being tortured, no." 

"I see." My cheer faltered slightly at their unfriendliness, but I supposed it made sense. They'd turned against their home, after all. It had to have been a difficult decision for them. "Well, I wanted to just check in, and thank you." I tried not to wince when the glarers switched to snarls. "Your information has been very helpful to us, and I'm very grateful." 

"That's…" The neutral one frowned, but not in any anger or sadness. If anything, it was confusion. "You are?" 

"Ah, forgive me, I should have introduced myself sooner." I bowed politely to them. "I am Clara, a knight of Ylisse. I'm called the Holy Swordsman, on my good days." 

" _You're_ her?" Their jaw dropped. "You?!" 

"Yes?" I tried to not be insulted. I'd never had that reaction to my identity before. "I am. I apologize if you were expecting someone different." Feeling uncomfortable, and like I shouldn't have done this, I bowed again. "I just wanted to make you were being treated well and to thank you. With your information, we can avoid a siege, and I hope to-" 

"Hold a moment." The neutral one narrowed their eyes. The other two glared at them, but they ignored it. "You… perhaps you can answer a question of ours?" 

"If I can, certainly." I frowned, that uncomfortable feeling growing. "What is it?" 

"Our children. How are they?" 

"Your… children?" My frown deepened, and I felt like I was missing something. "Why would I know that? Shouldn't they be home, with your family?" 

"…" They studied me for a long moment, eyes cautious and calculating. Finally, they nodded. "No, they were taken hostage to force our cooperation." 

"They were what." The words hit me like ice water. "Hostages? When did that… I don't…" 

"I thought so. The rumors paint you as a demon, but your eyes are too clear and your words too sincere." They sat back in their chair, while the others scoffed. "My daughter, their sons. All are younger than five. They're… somewhere." 

"I'll find them at once, and get them to safety." This was outrageous. Hostages? Children hostages? Children had no business in a war! They should be protected, as much as possible! When I found out who was responsible for that, I was going to hit them hard enough to make their head ring! "Argh, the hell is going on? Give me… half a day at most. I'll get to the bottom of this." 

I stormed out, glaring at my escort to get them to follow me without a word. It occurred to me that they could be lying, but honestly, this was something I'd rather be paranoid about. I also had to admit that since things were desperate in Ylisse, it was possible that some of my soldiers had let their morals wane. When you had to choose between starvation and honor, most would pick the former. You could atone for losing your honor, but you couldn't come back if you starved to death. 

However, I still held onto _my_ morals and not just for my own sake. Candace had ordered it. I wouldn't falter. 

"You," I finally hissed. I snagged my 'escort' and glowered. "I heard there were children hostages. Where are they?" 

"Th-they're this way?" my escort stammered. They gestured vaguely down a direction. "That way. Um…" 

"Fine. Thank you. Dismissed." I strode down the hall purposefully, leaving them in fearful confusion. Whenever someone passed, I seized them and demanded the same information, to make sure I was heading in the right direction. Those that looked baffled, I smiled and reassured them that I was taking care of it. Those who were just fearful, I glared at. Perhaps it was mean, but I was past caring. 

Especially when I made it to the 'room', really some storage closet, where three children were shivering and crying in the corner because someone with a sword, wearing Ylissean armor, had their sword out, as if to kill them. 

"No." I caught their arm and dug my nails into their wrist to make them drop the sword. It hit the ground with a clatter. "You have one second to tell me what the hell you're doing," I hissed, snarling at the person. Their eyes were wide with shock. "Speak quickly." 

"O-orders, my lady!" they defended. They tried to pull themselves out of my grip, but I simply tightened it. "I'm just following orders! I was told to execute them! So I-!" 

"Is that so? I gave no such orders. In fact, this is the first time I became aware they were here at all." My glare deepened. "And even if they were orders, you didn't hesitate? They're children. An order that kills children is not one to be followed." 

"They're just Plegian brats, and-" 

I dropped their arm and seized their throat in both hands. Their face immediately went red and redder. "So, they're children of the enemy, and thus, are suddenly not civilians? My, my, what a brave soldier you are. Which one gives you the most trouble? They look to be five, at most." 

"I… gh…" Their hands scrabbled over my arms, desperately trying to pry me off. "I…" 

"Pathetic." I let go and they collapsed to their knees coughing and gasping for breath. "You know the penalty for killing civilians during war, yes?" 

"I…" 

I didn't give them a chance to answer. I kicked up their sword into my hand and ran them threw, pinning them to the wall. I twisted it for good measure, and turned to the very terrified children. I crouched down and smiled, holding out my hands. "I'm getting you out of here," I whispered to them. "I know I'm very scary, but I promise I am. Will you come with me?" 

It was a very long moment before they decided to trust the scary lady, but as soon as they gave me their hands, I ushered them down the hall, dodging soldiers left and right. It took a couple of tries to remember just which room the 'helpers' were in, but when I did, all three started crying, relieved to see their children again. But shouts told me that my recent kill had been found, so I had them out the door and down the hall as quickly and stealthily as I could. Thankfully, all the focus was near the body, so no one paid attention as I led them to a side entrance of the fort and pushed them out. 

"Head west," I ordered. I made mental notes, preparing to shift the patrols around to make sure they wouldn't be found. "Just head west. Figure out how to get home later. Mine shouldn't head west at all." 

"Thank you," the neutral one breathed. They carried their child in one arm, and grasped my hand in the other. "Thank you, truly." 

"This isn't something worth thanks. It never should've happened at all." I stepped away and took the edge of the door. The other two were already in the distance, carrying their own children. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for all of this." 

"You're too good of a person to be Ylissean." 

"…Yet, I am a knight of Ylisse nonetheless, and I will continue being a knight until my dying day. And you need to run quickly, just in case." I shut the door before they could answer and rested my forehead against it, far too exhausted suddenly. 

Hostages? Forced information? Adair hadn't mentioned this. Had he known or…? 

* * *

After calming down everyone, I tried to just go to sleep, skipping dinner in the process. My stomach was too much in knots to eat, and if I didn't, that would be more for the others tomorrow. Even if all the food had been taken for the army, that didn't mean we still weren't on strict rations. So, I tried to sleep. But I couldn't. My mind bounced and spun with everything. 

Everyone had arbitrarily decided that the murder of one of ours was due to the 'helpers and had wanted to hunt them down like animals. Very few seemed bothered that there had been children hostages. It could've just been a vocal minority, but it was enough to hurt my heart. Children taken from their homes… driven to tears from fear… yet, they didn't care. Gods forbid one of ours die, but ignore the children who had suffered. 

It hurt. It hurt to think about and I couldn't help but wonder if this was my fault. Did I ignore the warning signs? Had I unintentionally remained silent and condoned such tactics? Had my focus on 'ending the war' led them to believe 'the end justified the means'? Had I taken that mindset without thinking? Had my focus on the royal family made them think I just didn't care about anything else? 

I wished David were here. I could've used his quiet support. I wished I'd told him how much I appreciated it. I wished I hadn't taken it, and him, for granted. 

Distant shouting dragged me out of my pit of self-pity, and I pushed myself up, wondering what the hell was going on. My second thought was 'we must be under attack', so I quickly got my armor on and got my sword, and ran out, trying to follow the noise. But no matter where I ran, the noise seemed to be getting farther away. Like the fighting was moving away. 

"Lady Clara?!" A yelp made me turn, and it took a couple of blinks to recognize Chelsea. "Wait, what are you doing here?!" she demanded, hands on her hip and eyes sparking with barely contained anger. "The soldiers left!" 

"They did what?" I asked, confused. I pinched my cheek to make sure I was awake. "Why did they leave?" 

"They're attacking the city! On orders!" 

"I… didn't give that order?" I scoured my memory, trying to think of if I'd said anything that could've been taken that way, but I'd thought I'd been clear. We _rested_ today and we'd _sneak in_ tomorrow, after giving King Bran a chance to surrender. "Yeah, no, I don't know what you're talking about, Chelsea." 

"You… you don't?" The anger faded, and while there was a trace of relief in her eyes, confusion drowned it. "But that's… that's what they said. They were marching tonight, on orders." 

"Were we attacked?" 

"I don't think so." The confusion disappeared for fear. "S-so, what do…?" 

"…You prepare for battle. I'll head out and see what the hell is going on." I pushed past her and started running down the hall. 

"Lady Clara!" However, Chelsea called after me, so I stopped and turned back to face her. "Um…" She fidgeted a bit before taking a breath. "Try not to get too hurt!" 

"I'll try. No promises." 

"That's okay. I believe in you." She smiled and ran, and this time I was the one watching her leave. But that was because I was stunned by that simple sentence. 'I believe in you.' I had no idea why she did. I had no idea what made her think that. But that simple sentence was enough to soothe my battered heart. 

Was this all my fault? Perhaps. But even with that, someone believed in me. It was amazing how simple-minded I could be. 

I left the fort easily, and followed the sounds of battle. However, when I got two steps within the city's borders, I realized this wasn't a battle. It was a massacre. There were no Plegian soldiers. It was just my Ylissean soldiers, slaughtering civilians left and right. Red streamed down the stone streets into the desert sands, unarmored and unarmed corpses strewn about like broken dolls. 

I did not order this. I never even considered ordering this. 

"Hey!" I snapped to some of the nearby soldiers. But they ignored me, chasing something. "No, you don't get to just run away!" I went after them, just as they cut down a young woman. Her corpse hit the ground, revealing a child about Emm's age, staring in shock. 

I had two options. Technically. But I never considered one. Yes, I could've just stood by, but I wouldn't. Not for this. Never for this. I cut off my own soldier's head, and kicked the body away so that it wouldn't fall on the woman. I knelt then to check her body for a pulse, but there was nothing. So, I set her to the side, hands on her stomach, and looked to the child. They still stared in shock. 

"You need to run," I whispered. I nudged them down the path, studying them. Dark auburn hair, cut short, and matching eyes. Skin a grey-brown, likely from shock. "Go on. Hide. You need to hide." 

I kept nudging them until they finally got their feet under them and ran on their own. Then I left the alley and began the very difficult task of trying to get my damn soldiers back under my control. Those that listened merely got yelled at. Those that didn't… those that didn't, I killed. I didn't like it. My stomach turned at cutting down my own countrymen, my own soldiers. But when the choice was 'my allies' and 'the children they were killing'… that was no choice. 

When I noticed one of mine trying to torch one of the buildings, though, part of me snapped. Most of me did. I seized their arm in a death grip and glared. "What are you doing?" I hissed, barely keeping myself from trembling. They, in turn, simple stared back, holding the torch in their other hand. "Well?" 

"Setting the building on fire?" 

"And who gave you the order?" 

"Exalt Adair said to kill and burn them?" They gave me a confused look, like they couldn't believe I was asking. I couldn't believe they needed to be asked at all. Nor could I believe Adair had… "So…" 

"Who is your commanding officer?" 

"Well, you, Lady Clara, but Exalt Adair-" 

"Who is standing right in front of you?" 

"You, Lady Clara." 

"So, who's orders do you think it's smarter to follow at this very moment?" I tightened my grip on their arm. "Well?" 

"Y-yours?" 

"Precisely. So, you will safely put the torch out. You will stop any of your fellows from setting fires. In fact, you will coordinate them to stop messing around with civilians and focus on the castle." I shoved them away as hard as I could. They actually cracked their head against the nearby building. "If you're so much in a hurry for blood, at least spill the 'right' blood." 

"…Very well, Lady Clara." They looked around and tossed the torch into a puddle of blood. "I don't see why you're making a big deal about this. It's like with the Taguel, yeah? They're only Plegians." 

"And you are only a person, soldier." I fixed them with the coldest glare I had ever given anyone, and they reeled back. "Follow my orders, or I will ensure you are only a _corpse_." 

They ran, pale with terror, and I covered my face with my hands, trying to not cry. What was this? What was all of this? This wasn't what I wanted. This wasn't… 

* * *

Inside the castle was even worse. I had no control. I had to intimidate my own soldiers into listening to me, because they were too much like mad beasts, chasing after blood. I lost count of the number of times I had to stop them from chasing after some wounded servant, of how many times I demanded that they focus only on the soldiers. It was a relief when I heard King Bran had been found in the throne room. It at least gave me something else to do. 

"King Bran, I apologize for the rude entrance," I said, walking in. The throne room itself was empty, save for King Bran and a young girl with a gash over her eye he desperately tried to bandage. Both were splattered with blood. "I'm-" 

"I know who you are," King Bran snapped. Dark hair, dark skin, with strangely bright blue eyes. They weren't a common color in Plegia. "Clara, the so-called Holy Swordsman of Ylisse." 

"Well, I never gave myself that title. I'm sure I've picked up others by now." I walked closer, my steps echoing in the silence of the room. "Regardless-" 

"Regardless, why are you here? You have stormed the borders, murdered my soldiers, trampled my lands…!" With each word, his voice got louder and louder, and he hugged the girl protectively. "Why? What could be so gods damned important that you'd do all this?! That you'd even slaughter my wife and children in their beds?!" His voice cracked with raw pain, and I could only stare. I specifically ordered for children to be… "Why?!" 

"That's not… that's…" I sighed and fought off tears. I really didn't… "I'm sorry. I may be the commander, but I long since lost control of my soldiers, it seems. I ordered for children to be spared. I had no quarrel with them, or your family. My quarrel is only with you." 

"And what is it?" He glared with all the hatred in the world. I deserved every bit of it. "Tell me. Be quick about it." 

"…Well, first thing's first." I undid my pack and tossed it to him. "There's medical supplies in there. For… your daughter?" 

"My only one, now. By sheer dumb luck, she'd been out of her room." He hesitated but snatched the pack and rummaged through it for bandages and a vulnerary. Then he quickly undid his poor first attempt to properly tend to his daughter's injury. "Now. Your grievance." 

"Why did you kill our messengers?" I decided to just go straight to the point. "We sent them in good faith, and yet, they were butchered." 

"What messengers?" He frowned heavily at me, and tucked the girl into his side. The girl herself seemed in shock, silent and unbandaged eye darting everywhere. I couldn't blame her. "I received none." 

"We sent many over the past two years of this stupid war. Each time, they were killed and, if we were lucky, we could find all the pieces." I tightened my grip on my sword, but kept it at my side. "We didn't want this war, but when our messengers were killed, the nobles pressured. Of course, they've long since forgotten. Everyone else has forgotten. But not me. I remember." 

"What message did they carry?" 

"We learned from a spy that Vessels of Grima had been born… created… whatever. We wanted an answer for that." 

"Vessels of…? But that's…" His frowned deepened before suddenly, he laughed. He laughed and laughed, the sound skirting the edges of madness. His little girl winced at the noise, and burrowed into this side, trying to escape. "Ah, so that's it…!" He choked the words out. "That's it. I should've known… they've long hated me." 

"They?" 

"Yes, they. Them. The Grimleal." He smiled bitterly, that dark mirth tainting it. "They excel at playing games and goodness, they played this one well. With us as the pieces they've been moving left and right." 

"They've been…" I thought of Validar at Dragon's Table and cursed. I should've just killed him. "That's not…" 

"It is. It's what they do. If they don't like a king, they get rid of him. And they _hate_ me." 

"Then… you had nothing to do with…" 'Any of this.' I couldn't finish the words. Because it ran so contrary to what I knew, or thought I knew. "They were… but…" I closed my eyes and clawed my dignity together with everything I had. "King Bran, please surrender. Clearly, we need to turn our attentions against the Grimleal." 

"I suppose. However, you and yours killed-" 

"I will keep her safe. I promise; I will keep her safe. It might not mean much, but I swear it nonetheless." I opened my eyes and looked right at him. "Please. We need to end this fighting, for both of our countries." 

"…Well, I suppose you're better than nothing. You're at least sincere enough." He sighed heavily, and pulled away from his daughter. "Gods above, I have to pick between the demon in front of me, and the demons around me." 

"I'm sorry." 

"Apologies mean nothing to the dead, you know. Their silence should be answer enough." He sighed again, but held out his hand. "But all right, then, Holy Swordsman. I ag-" 

Something 'wished' past my ear. An arrow slammed into King Bran's chest. It took a blink to realize the two things were connected. I turned slowly, wondering what the hell, and saw an archer in the open doorway. Another arrow was notched. It was aimed for the girl. 

I moved before thinking about it, cutting the arrow out of the air when it fired. The archer screamed and stumbled back, but I gave them no quarter. I cut off their head and kicked the body back for good measure. Then I ran back to King Bran to see if I could help him. 

"Papa!" his little girl sobbed. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she clung to him. He simply gasped for air, choking. Blood dribbled out of his mouth. "Papa!" 

"Little one, let me look," I whispered, kneeling next to him. I winced, though, when I realized where it had hit. "That's…" 

"Lung," King Bran finished. He coughed and a horrible 'whistling' noise accompanied it. He'd be dead as soon as the arrow was removed. He'd die soon even with it in. "That was…" 

"Where can I take her?" 

"That's…" 

"Your majesty!" There was a bit of movement behind me and something hit me hard in the head, temporarily making me see stars. "How dare you!?" Whoever it was swung again, but I managed to stumble back. It took a couple of blinks to see a young girl, younger than me, dressed in a maid's outfit and holding a fire iron like a club. "Doing this to…!" she growled. Sweat and blood clung to her face and clothes, as did wisps of black hair. "I'll-!" 

"Going to point out that if I wanted you three dead, I really would've just stuck them with a sword and not leave my back open," I pointed out dryly. I touched the back of my head and my hand came back bloody. "I have a sword, and far more training than you do." 

"That's…!" 

"Look, they need to get out of here. Or at least the little one does." I felt a little dizzy. She really did get a good hit in. "So…" 

"Over… here…" King Bran gasped out. He managed to stand and stumbled over to the back corner of the throne room. His little girl clung to his leg with all her might. "Here." He pressed some stone and a portion of the wall moved out. He tried to pull it the rest of the way, but I dropped my blade and did it for him, digging my heels in. The stone scraped up my palms, but I didn't stop until it was easily wide enough for someone to run through. "Take her…" 

"But your majesty!" the maid snapped. She picked up the little princess, and glared at me. "She-!" 

"Again, pointing out that if I wanted you dead, _I would just get it over with_ ," I retorted. I glanced worriedly at the doorway. If another archer arrived… "I wouldn't pull open a secret passage for you." 

"That's…" Her glare faltered. "I…" 

"You're going to want to run north and west, okay? North and west. Mine are south and east, you see, and I will do everything I can to keep them away from you." I gestured her inside the path. "Look, seriously, go. You can still hate me and listen to me, you know." 

"I…" She hesitated and glanced King Bran. He smiled ruefully, but nodded. "…Holy whatever, if you're tricking us…" 

"You'll haunt me or something. You'll have to fight for it. I'm haunted by a lot of things." I glanced worriedly at the open doors again. "Get going!" 

"Fine! Your majesty…" The maid hesitated again, but curtseyed. "Thank you. I'll keep her safe. I promise." 

She darted inside, and I began pushing the door shut. But as I did, another voice called, "Hey! Hey, wait!" I peered inside, and saw the little girl had twisted in the maid's arms. "You!" She pointed right at me. "Name! What's your name?" 

"Mine?" I asked, startled. She nodded, slowly disappearing down the hall with the maid. "It's Clara. Lady Clara, knight of Ylisse." 

"Mine is Aderyn!" She smiled at me, and it was a surprisingly sweet smile. She also had dimples, I barely noticed. She was far away. "Aderyn Melaina! Thank you!" 

"Stay safe!" I darted back and pushed the door fully closed. When it thunked into place, I leaned against it and laughed bitterly. "She shouldn't have thanked me. If not for me, she would've had her family." 

"If not for you, she'd be dead," King Bran corrected. He slumped against the wall, gasping for breath. "Ah, gods… please… keep her… safe…" 

"Not sure if they're listening. They haven't heard me. Then again, clearly, this whole situation has been messed up from the start." 

"Maybe." He slid down, coughing wetly. "Ah…" 

"Got very few options for you." 

"If you could just finish the job?" He gave me a look that screamed 'I am done with all of this'. I really couldn't blame him. "Please?" 

"Yeah, sure." I retrieved my blade and walked over to him. "I'll make it quick." 

"Thanks." He smiled, and this time, it was actually genuine. "This is probably stupid… but I do place my hopes in you." 

"It is stupid, but I'll do what I can to not fail those hopes." I stabbed down and ripped through his side, making as large of a wound as possible. He grunted from pain, but bled out quickly. Honestly, he'd probably been on death's door already, just stubbornly clinging to make sure his daughter got out safely. 

As he breathed his last, I wanted to burst into tears. No wonder Validar had been so damn smug. He'd played us from the start, and I couldn't do anything. I'd have my hands full just controlling my own soldiers to make sure they didn't catch Aderyn and that maid. 

But hooray? Hooray, hooray, the war was over. A cause for celebration, and yet, I had never felt emptier. But I had to keep going. I had to see this to the end. Otherwise… otherwise, this would all be for naught. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter - Vessels 


	15. Chapter 15) Vessels

Chapter 15) Vessels 

* * *

Plegia buried their dead above ground, unlike Ylisse and Ferox. Well, sort of. It depended on the wealth of the person, same as basically everything in the world. The poorest probably dug shallow graves in the sand, but those with a bit of money? They buried their dead above the ground, either in caves specially tended to or expansive crypts built in advance. The royal family had their own tombs below the castle, and I spent a lot of time there because many of my idiotic soldiers didn't think that 'basic decency' involved burying the dead. 

"Ugh, how did I end up with all these sorts of people?" I sighed, setting another child into a coffin I'd bought. It wasn't the best, but it wasn't the worst. The most horrible thing about it was how small it was. This child was only about a year old, the youngest of King Bran's five children. A little boy, the former crown prince, with half of his face smashed in. I wondered if he died before his mother and sisters or after. "Seriously…" 

I shut the coffin, carefully locked it in place, and set it into the 'second coffin', one of stone. My muscles strained as I pulled the lid of the stone coffin shut, wincing as it thunked into place with a loud, loud echo. I stepped back and wiped the sweat off my face. He'd been the last. I just had to leave a note, and a little apology for not knowing their names. For the life of me, I just couldn't remember if I'd ever known. It felt wrong. But no Plegian would talk to us knowingly, and my days were spent trying to keep my soldiers under control anyway. I'd risked a lot just to get those precious coffins. 

"Lady Clara?" Chelsea's voice echoed through the crypt, as did her steps. "Are you still down here?" she asked. "Lady Clara?" 

"Yeah, I'm still down here," I answered. I made sure to smile, so that it was firmly in place by the time she found me in the crypts. "Hey, sorry to make you come all the way down here." 

"It's fine, Lady Clara." Chelsea tried to smile, but it was too tired. I couldn't blame her. She'd tried to tend to some of the wounded civilians, only for some of our own soldiers to scream at her for being a traitor. If I hadn't intervened, she might've been killed, just for being a healer. "I got that list you wanted." 

"Hmm?" It took a long moment to remember what she was even talking about. I'd been distracted by burying all the dead. "Oh, already? I expected that to take longer." 

"It wasn't hard. I just had to remember who tried to hurt me, and then watch from there. Their ilk like flocking together to fester in their own hatred." She spoke mechanically, but handed me a list of carefully written names. "I might've missed some, but…" 

"That's fine. Honestly, I'd rather miss a few." I looked through the names, griping the paper tightly enough to crumple the edges. So many… and they were all the worst of people. They were the people who had enjoyed killing, who had run amok, who showed no remorse for what had happened, who had balked at my burying the dead and instead wanted them on display. "So many." 

"Do you truly think they'll be punished?" Chelsea clasped her hands in front of her, eyes downcast. "I mean…" 

"Yes, they will. I'll make sure of it." I folded the paper up small and tucked it into my pocket. "Those that we missed will know the behavior is not tolerated." 

"If you say so." 

"Lady Clara!" Rapid footsteps heralded another's approach, and one of the messengers skidded to a stop near us, nearly falling on their face. "My lady, Grimleal were sighted in the north, along with High Priestess Raven!" they reported, saluting. "Orders?" 

"To the north?" I asked. I hesitated, trying to think of what to do. I didn't want to leave, because I basically had to intimidate my soldiers in order to get them to act with any sort of decency. On the other hand, it was north and it had only been a two days since the maid had left with Aderyn. I couldn't risk them. "Very well. I will leave with a small group." 

"Understood!" They snapped to attention and made to leave. "I will-" 

"I want you to also spread a message. If I return and find that there have been _any_ fights, with the civilians or with each other, the instigators will receive my full wrath." I made my voice as cold as possible to emphasize the words. "And if I come back to find any dead, they will wish they thought to kill themselves first." 

"Y-yes, ma'am!" The messenger raced off, pale as a ghost. 

"You'll make them call you 'demon', talking like that," Chelsea murmured. She smiled, but it shook. "I think I will hide in my room until you return, though." 

"There is no shame in that," I reassured. "Just after our last fight with the Grimleal, I feel like I need to be there." 

"That's true. I'd like to never see a massacre like that again." She shuddered, and I knew the rest of the thought. 'I wish I never see a massacre like this again either.' "Stay safe." 

"I'll try." I had to resist the urge to sigh. "I'll certainly try." 

* * *

It was surprising how close the Grimleal were. They were a day's ride north, even accounting for the sands. When we caught up, I actually dismounted to run instead. It ended up saving my life. Someone, a beautiful woman with long, auburn hair and dressed in deceptively simple clothes glared at the other Grimleal and mouthed something. Almost instantly, the shadows writhed and swallowed up not only some of the Grimleal, but my own people on horses. They just flat-out disappeared, no body in sight, so I kept to the side, out of the woman's sight. She carried two things, hiding them with her cloak, as she continued to run and run, away from the remaining Grimleal. 

"High Priestess!" one shouted. They had their hand outstretched, crackling with power. "High Priestess Raven!" They threw the spell, but the woman, apparently High Priestess Raven herself, rolled her eyes and mouthed something again. Spikes erupted from the shadows, impaling two others, leaving only the one who had shouted. "Why?! Why are you doing this?!" 

There was no answer except another spike from the shadows and another bloody corpse hitting the ground. 

I continued following her from the side, the sun beating down on me. She was much slower than I was, likely because of whatever she was carrying. I kept pace with her easily, watching closely to see if she noticed me. When it became clear she hadn't, I moved slightly ahead and then abruptly surged into her path. She stumbled in shock and attempted to cast some sort of spell, but since I'd ambushed her, I had the advantage. I caught her in the face with my hilt and kicked her knee out to make her fall. She fell in a heap, curling over whatever she was carrying before glaring up at me. 

"Where are the Vessels?" I asked, voice ragged. Sweat poured down my face and each breath felt like daggers in my lungs. But I aimed the point of my sword at her face, my arm bent in an awkward angle as clear warning. If she cast a spell, I could skewer her through the face before she finished. "You're Grimleal, yes? Their High Priestess? Where are they?" 

"Vessels?" Raven whispered. She spat out a bit of blood, and smirked, despite the bruise blooming on her face. "That's what this is about? Ylisse's spy network should be commended." 

"I'm delighted you approve. Where are they?" 

"So bossy." Her smirk widened. "Fine, fine, they're here." 

"Where?" 

"Right here." She sat up, shifting so that her injured leg was straightened. Two children, both three or four at most, were curled up asleep in her lap now. One had a white hair, and the other was a redhead. "Here you go." 

"Pardon?" 

"The Vessels. You wanted to see them?" She pulled the children more securely in her lap. "Here they are, in all their glory. Beautiful, aren't they?" 

"These are…?" I felt like I'd been punched in the gut. Never, ever, did I consider this. When I heard they were 'made' or 'born', I had never considered they'd be actual children. Dolls, perhaps? Experimented-on-adults. Not children. Never children. "These are Grima's Vessels." 

"They are indeed." Her eyes glittered and she tried to reach for something. I automatically kicked her, not so shocked that my instincts were frozen. "Oof… you're a warrior, all right?" 

I didn't reply. I looked at the two children, the two little children. The Vessels. These were the Vessels of Grima. These were the harbingers of the end, the bringers of destruction. They were the reason this war started, ultimately. If our spy hadn't learned of them… if the messengers hadn't died… this war would've never happened. All this pain… all this blood… it had all been to destroy… to kill… the Vessels of Grima. So, I brought my blade up high, calculating the best way to strike to kill them in one swing. Raven flinched and bent over them automatically, and I redid my calculations, so that I could kill all three quickly and end this. 

Then one woke up. The little redhead, hair as auburn as Raven's, yawned and blinked bleary brown eyes at me. She looked confused for a brief moment before smiling so sweetly. It was a smile as sweet at Chrom's. As sweet as Aderyn's. A sweet, sweet smile from a young child, barely older than the little prince I had buried just a day ago. 

The blade dropped, falling from my nerveless fingers, clattering to the ground. I collapsed to my knees, laughing and sobbing as it all processed. I couldn't do it. I couldn't. Even knowing that they were the Vessels of Grima, even knowing they could bring about the end of the world… I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill two children. The whole point of the war, and at the very end, I couldn't do it. 

"This was to save the world…" I managed through the mad laughter. Raven slowly straightened, and the little redhead looked even more confused. A bit of magic flickered at Raven's fingertips, though, and the little redhead was back to sleeping. "I kept telling myself that. Sacrifice the one for the many. Destroy Grima before it could return. Make it so that Emmeryn and Chrom wouldn't have to fight. But how can they not?!" My voice cracked and I covered my face to try and muffle the crying and laughing. "How can they not? When I, _I_ , sacrificed many for the many? I might save thousands, but I still killed hundreds! I could save _the_ world, but I destroyed thousands with each swing of my blade!" I curled into myself, no longer laughing, and now just simply sobbing. "Damn me… _Damn_ me…" 

"You…" Raven began. She reached out to touch my hand, and honestly, I thought she was going to kill me with a spell. I would've let her. But no, she simply waited until I looked up again. "You can still make it all worth it, you know. I am a tired woman, and my spells have been all but exhausted. I couldn't stop you if I tried." She smiled bitterly and looked down at the children curled up in her lap. "And it would still fulfill my goal. Not as I wished, perhaps, but beggars cannot be choosers. They would not have to suffer through the Awakening. They would not be broken into dolls. They would not become Grima and his general. They'd be free." 

"But I…" 

"And they're not human, you know. Not really. They're Vessels, something in between humans and dragons, humans and gods. They're 'other', even more so than the manakete and Taguel." 

"You still left for them." I had to cough to clear my throat, and I still cried. I couldn't stop crying. "You still fought for them." 

"I am their mother." Raven said the words like they explained everything. "The Grimleal made a mistake, letting me raise them, letting me tend to them. I carried them for nine months. I fed them. I washed them. I played with them. They are _my_ children, my precious baby boy and little girl, and I do not care what the Grimleal claim is their destiny. I will fight that destiny with everything I have, because I am their mother and I love them." 

"And yet, you're trying to convince me to kill them." 

"Well, it could be the smarter choice. The more merciful choice. I can't do it, though, so I pick the stupider path." She laughed mirthlessly. "Love makes fools of everyone, after all. Almost as much as desire." 

"I see." I smiled brokenly at her. "But I… I can't either. They're children. Gods, they're probably Chrom's age. They're lonely children, and the world is going to hate them, but it's not their fault. Why should they have to die because of the choices stupid adults made? Why do they have to die because they were born into such a messed up world?" I began laughing again. "Isn't it hilarious? There's so much gods damned blood on my hands! I've condemned an entire damn generation because I focused so much on the goal! I'm _drowning_ in blood, but I can't do this. I can't harden my heart just one more fucking time and actually accomplish what this whole war was about! How pathetic! How hilarious!" I kept on laughing, the sound diving headfirst into madness. It was raucous, nearly making my ears bleed. I laughed and laughed until it triggered yet another bout of crying. 

But Raven simply watched, with a stoic expression. Not offering comfort, but also not offering judgment. "So, what will you do?" she asked when my fit of madness quieted. "If you will not kill them, then what will you do?" 

"Well, I'll figure something out, I suppose." I smiled, and more tears slipped down my face. "Hey, can you tell me their names?" 

"Their names?" She looked surprised briefly before smiling, a very small but very genuine smile. "Robin is my little boy. My little girl is Kestrel. They're twins." 

"They're wonderful. I hope… I hope they can find some sort of happiness in the twisted mess I've made." 

"Well, if it makes you feel better, you might've scattered the pieces, but I'm the one who broke the world. After all…" Her voice cracked them, and I could see the very real horror and guilt in her eyes. "I am the one who birthed the Vessels. I followed blind faith and I cursed them." 

"Ha… we're both a couple of idiots, huh?" Slowly, I pushed myself up and picked up my sword to sheathe it. "Be careful." 

"I will." She watched me sheathe the sword, but stopped me as I began to walk away. "Thank you." 

"For what?" 

"For not killing them, for one thing. And for the battle at Dragon's Table." She smiled then, a still small but incredibly warm smile. "If you had not fought that day, Validar never would've left me alone with them. I wouldn't have been able to escape with them. So, thank you for that. In that way, you… well, at least delayed Grima's return." She laughed, somewhere between bitter and mirthless. "We'll see how the rest of it goes." 

"…I see." I smiled back, and this time, I didn't cry. "That's… actually nice to hear. You should keep heading north." 

"I plan to go to Ferox, and lose them in the snows. After resting a bit." She looked back to her twins, still fast asleep. It had to be magic. "It's been a very long few weeks." 

"Yeah, that… sums up everything nicely." Too nicely, really. "Good luck." 

"You too." 

* * *

The dining room of Plegia Castle was filled with laughter and cheer as the soldiers dined. It wasn't quite a fancy feast, but it was certainly fancier than the meals we'd been having. For one thing, we delved into wine cellar of the castle and they had some surprisingly fine vintages. I'd picked the best ones I could find for this, all red wines because of the bitterness. I needed that bitterness. 

I ate my food calmly, carefully watching the soldiers here. It had been a few days since I spared Raven and her children, and I had sent most of the army off already. The only ones here were the ones I couldn't trust out of my sight. All were people on Chelsea's list and I had to fight to keep from spoiling my plan too early with all their talks. They boasted of how many they killed, laughed at how their victims cried. They longingly talked of how they wished they'd done more. 

A soldier offered me wine. I shook my head and continued eating. I didn't touch my wine and no one here knew me well enough to know how odd that was. That's why I was going with this. It was vile, but vile people deserved vile ends. And I had promised Chelsea. These soldiers would be punished, and gods help me, I wasn't sure if Adair would. But I would. 

The food was probably very good, but it tasted like ash and paste in my mouth. I thought about drinking the wine anyway, just to see if it had flavor, but I refrained. I had things to do, and I didn't spend the past couple of days plotting this to just let it all end now. It had taken forever to gather enough to make sure it would have some sort of effect, and I wasn't confident. But I was armed. We all were armed. But they weren't wearing that much in armor, and I was. I had multiple advantages. 

Finally, my nerves told me that I had to go for it now and so I stood up. The hall instantly went silent, all eyes turning to me. I made sure to smile, to hide my nerves. "Well, I was going to ask how the food was, but considering how many plates have been emptied, perhaps I shouldn't ask!" I called, feigning friendliness. The soldiers laughed and many grinned, unrepentant of how much they'd eaten. "So, I propose a toast instead!" 

I raised my wine glass and they all did the same, grins widening. I fell into a strange sort of calmness, the calm I associated with battles. I could do this. I would do this. 

"Cheers! Cheers to our victory!" 

They downed their wine in long gulps and they all laughed. I pretended to do the same, but really just dumped the wine onto the floor beside me. Part of me felt horrible about wasting such a fine vintage, but the rest of me didn't care. 

"Yes, you did well! I am so very proud of all of you!" 

They cheered again, and some drank more wine. Others paused, reaching for their throats with tiny frowns. Almost there. 

"Yes, you are absolutely inspiring! Slaughtering a mother guarding her child! Butchering children in their own rooms! Massacring hundreds in the streets as they ran in fright! Truly, you are a testament to Ylisse!" 

The cheer finally began fading as they processed the words. I kept my smile and my apparent friendliness, even as some started to cough and choke. Some spit out blood, and horror replaced the cheer in an instance. 

"I'm sure you were promised a just reward and here it is! A special bit of wine, just for you." 

A couple of the less affected jumped to their feet, drawing their blades. The rest, though, gasped for air, and writhed, desperately trying to not drown in their own blood. 

"Yes, yes, you may fight me for your lives. I do have the antidote on me. You may loot it from my corpse, if you somehow manage to kill me." 

I let my friendliness fade at last for a tranquil fury as they approached. They tried to intimidate me, but I simply unsheathed my sword and fixed them with the iciest glare I could manage. 

"But what do you think your odds are? Can you really best me, the Holy Swordsman of Ylisse?" 

They stepped closer. I smirked, remembering the names I had heard the Plegians scream as I bought all that poison from the apothecaries. 

"Me, the Demon of Blades? Me, the Reaper of War? Can you kill me before the poisons take your life? I am ever-so-curious." 

One lunged. I parried their attack with ease and chopped off their head. Blood spilled on the table, over the silverware, and drowned the leftover food. The rest paused, staring as their comrade's body flopped to the ground and the head rolled under the table. 

"This is for the civilians you slaughtered. This is for the children you massacred. You all die here today. Try to give me a workout, will you?" 

Today… today became the day I'd finally start making this _right_. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: So, the reason why Clara focused suddenly on Kestrel during her brief cameo in _Shadows of the Shepherds_ is because of the scene here, where little!Kestrel waking up and looking at her causes her to lose her resolve. Meet Raven, Robin and Kestrel's mother. The final scene here takes heavy inspiration from the opening scene of Game of Throne's Season 7, with minor changes since Clara would not be as versed in poisons as Arya. 
> 
> Next Chapter – Final Chapter, Promise 


	16. Final Chapter - Promise

Final Chapter – Promise 

* * *

Ylisstol at night always looked odd to me. It was quiet, like in the early morning, but there was no warmth to it. Little candles lit up paths like stars, but the lack of movement from everything but the stray alley cat and rat always made me think of those old ruins where you feared even breathing lest you disturb ghosts. And I knew there were a lot of ghosts here. The streets were lined with black decorations for mourning, and every house had white lilies to represent the dead. I wondered how much larger the graveyard had become. I wondered how many 'graves' were just 'memorials' because the bodies were lost to the sands. 

Shaking my head, I continued my quiet walk through the streets, wincing every once in a while as a bruise protested, or a wound keened. As I'd expected, I'd outlasted the poisoned soldiers, but I had taken a few good injuries. Thankfully, with all of them dead, I had free access to all of the remaining medical supplies. So, things weren't bad, just annoying. I could walk with my head held high, and with a confidence that was completely fake, but no one would ever know it was a mask. 

I passed through the front gates of the palace without issue, waving to the guards on duty. I walked into the quiet palace, eyeing the odd servant cleaning up. At this late of an hour, almost everyone was asleep. In a few hours, though, the kitchen helpers would wake up to begin prepping for breakfast. In a few hours, there would be sound again, the gentle murmur of half-asleep workers preparing for the new day. That's how it always was, and how it would always be, no matter what happened. 

"Clara!" However, to my surprise, Candace was among those awake. She stood in the hallway, dressed in a loose nightgown to hide how far along she was with her pregnancy, and a robe to ward off the cold. As always, though, she wore the earrings I gave her. "Welcome home," she greeted warmly, smiling. "You're back quite late." 

"I am," I replied, studying her. She was much thinner than I remembered, despite the short time, with red blotches on her neck. "I thought I told you to listen to the healers." 

"I am, but I've had difficulties keeping things down." She laughed, shrugging it off. "My baby is a picky little thing already." 

"I suppose." I caught her in a hug, and tried not to wince at how bony she was. "Well, still listen, and see how soups or something. I know we're low on healers thanks to all the deaths, but please?" 

"I will. I promised." 

"Okay." I pulled away, frowning. "Anyway, shouldn't you be in bed?" 

"Well, how could I sleep? Adair is still working and I heard you were back from the guards and…" Her eyes filled with tears. "We got word that you were ambushed and that you alone lived! I had to see you!" 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you." I tried to not squirm. This plan of mine… "Come on. Let me help you get to bed. Adair is working?" 

"Yes, as always. He basically sleeps in his study now." She wilted and leaned into my side as I took her hand and walked her to her room. "I'm tired, Clara." 

"It's okay." I squeezed her hand reassuringly. "I understand." 

We walked in silence until we got to her room, and I helped her into bed. It wouldn't be long before she would sleep in a chair instead, due to the baby bump, but for now, I could tuck her in, like she was a child. She made a face at me, but let me fuss. 

"Well, I think you're set," I murmured, smoothing down the blankets. She stuck her tongue out and I laughed. "Sleep well, okay?" 

"I will," she sighed, pouting. "Treating me like a little kid." 

"You're like my little sister. I've known you since we _were_ little." 

"That you have." She smiled sadly. "I wish we could back to those days." 

"Me too." I leaned down and kissed her cheek. "I love you very much." 

"I love you too, Clara." Her smile warmed, but she yawned, already half-asleep. "I'll talk to you later!" 

"Later, then." 

She mumbled something, snuggling into the pillows. I waited to make sure she really was asleep before leaving, shutting the door behind me. I lingered a bit and, on impulse, I darted down the hall to Emm's room. I quietly opened it, and discovered to my surprise that Emm and Chrom were actually sharing the bed. The fact that the blankets weren't fully over them, and Emm had an open book dangling loosely from her hands… they hinted the two had been reading, and then fallen asleep. 

So, smiling, I carefully took the book and marked the place before setting it on the nightstand. I tugged the blankets over them and tucked them in. Then I sat on the edge and simply studied them for a long moment. Both slept so very peacefully, and I wondered what they dreamt, if they dreamed at all. After a while, I leaned down and kissed them both on the head, making sure to not wake them. Chrom stirred briefly, but stayed asleep. "I love you two so much," I whispered. Tears pricked my eyes, but I closed them to keep from crying. This needed to be done. This would be done. But it hurt. It hurt so much. "So, so much." 

I kissed their cheeks again, and left, closing the door behind me. Then I leaned against the wall and willed myself not to cry. This needed to be done. It would be done. I would fix this. I would. 

* * *

"Clara! You're up late!" Adair greeted me with a tired smile, but a warm hug. "I wasn't expecting you until morning," he told me, patting my shoulder. "Made good time?" 

"I did," I replied, smiling back. In truth, I'd purposely planned to arrive late at night, because things would be easier, but I couldn't tell him that. "But I don't think you get to talk about me being up. The hell are you doing working?" 

"Planning." He shrugged. "Your message mentioned that you think the Vessels escaped?" 

"It did. I'm sorry." 

"No, don't be. It's just a little bit longer than anticipated." He smiled brightly. "We'll figure it out." 

"Right." I tried to not squirm. "I'll think of something." 

"You always do." He turned away, and my mind began racing. My heart thudded in my chest. My breath quickened my ears roared. My vision focused on a handful of things. My hand fell to the hilt of my sword. "Let's see…" 

"Hey, Adair?" My voice was very soft, because I couldn't make myself talk any louder. Everything else I had was devoted to this one thing. "I love you very much, brother." 

"I love you too, sister." His reply was instant, easy, like he didn't even have to think about it. He headed for his desk, one hand resting on a piece of paper. I closed my eyes and locked my jaw to keep from sobbing. "I hate to put more on you, but we'll figure out our counterattack now, together, and-" 

Before I could think twice, I drew my sword and stabbed him. In the back. Through the back. Adair, my Exalt, my brother… I stabbed him. I ran him through. 

He coughed weakly, a hand coming up to touch the silver blade sticking out from his chest. He glanced back at me, blood dribbling down his chin. Shocked, betrayed eyes looked right at me with a single, unspoken question shining in them. 

"It's been five months," I whispered, giving him my answer. My hand shook on the hilt. He continued to stare. "I promised. I promised you that I would end this war in five months. And it will now. It will." My voice cracked and the tears I had no right to shed finally streamed down my face. This war would end only with his death or the Vessels', and I picked his. I had no right to cry. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I love you, but I'm sorry. For the country's sake… for your children's sake… I have to take us off this path. For their sake, I…" 

He reached up slowly, visibly trembling with the effort, and touched my cheek. Swiping at it, even, as if to brush away the tears. The betrayal and shock in his eyes had faded for the warmth and affection I always associated with him. He understood. He forgave. Maybe he was even a little thankful. 

I jerked the blade out and caught him as he fell. He clung to me weakly, a last hug, and then his arms fell to his side. I picked him up and carried him to the side of the room, so that I wouldn't lay him out in the puddle of his own blood. I probably shouldn't have bothered, though. I was coated, and more blood spilled out from the wounds I inflicted. 

He was still smiling, though. Even when he died, he smiled. 

"Damn you…" I growled, still crying. I curled up next to his corpse, sobbing into his bloody, still chest. "You know… forgiving me hurts more, idiot…" At the same time, though, it was such a relief. He didn't hate me. He didn't hate me at the end. "Damn it. Damn me." 

I stayed there, unable to do anything but cry. As if some miracle would bring him back, even though I was the one who killed him in the first place. But, eventually, the tears did end, and I sat up, coughing as my mind recognized how stuffed up I was and how much my head hurt. I took a few breaths to calm down and stood up to pick up my sword. Then I sighed and looked around the study, trying to figure out what to do next. 

If I stayed, I'd be executed. I had committed some of the worst of crimes, regicide and kinslaying. Adair and I were not related by blood, but we were family in every other way, and I had killed him. I would be executed for this and likely all the war crimes inflicted by our soldiers during the past two years. The people would have a focal point for their anger. They would throw stones at me, make a party over my public death. I could rest, and go beg forgiveness from everyone who had died. It was a tempting idea. 

But Emm would have to give the order. Emmeryn, not even ten years old, would have to order my death. That was too much for a child. I didn't want her to deal with that. She barely understood death as it was. And even if the people had a focal point, the hatred wouldn't die with me because I had no way to soothe their tempers. The anger would live on and fester, probably just finding more scapegoats to lash out again. And I would just be running away. I knew the true threat was the Grimleal. I knew that they were still out there, ready and eager to destroy everything. There was also Aderyn, who needed protection. I had given my word. So, I couldn't die. Not yet. 

Besides, someone needed to choose the hard way to atone for this damned war. Someone had to live with the guilt, with the blood, and devote their life to protect the victims. So, let it be me. Let me be the one who lived with this crushing weight. I would not run. I would not take the 'easy' way out. In this way, I could honor those who died. I could honor David, who protected me with his own life, and I could honor King Bran, who trusted the 'demon' in front of him to save his daughter. 

So, I glanced back at Adair's body, took a deep breath, and walked out the door. And came face to face with Chrom. 

"Clar?" he yawned, rubbing his eyes. He was still half-asleep, blinking up at me. I froze, not expecting this. "Hi…" 

"Hi, Chrom," I whispered. Carefully, I shut the door behind me and knelt down. "What are you doing awake?" 

"Thought you were here." He smiled sweetly. My heart ached and I almost burst into tears again. "Love you." 

"I love you too." My voice caught in my throat and more tears threatened to fall. But I smiled. I made sure to smile for him. "Never doubt that I love you, Chrom." I wanted to hug him, but I couldn't. I was covered in his father's blood, and only his innocence, the shadows, and his being half-asleep kept him from realizing it. "I love you and Emm so very dearly." 

"Clar?" 

"Come on, though. It's late." I wiped my hand off as well as I could and took his hand. "Let's get you back to bed." 

"Hug?" 

"…Later, Chrom. I'm dirty." 

"Fiiine." He sulked, but squeezed my hand and let me lead him back to Emm's room. "Love you." 

"I love you too. And I mean it. Never doubt that." I knelt down again and kissed his forehead. A bit of blood transferred and I used my cloak to wipe it away. "I have made so many mistakes, and I will make many more, but don't doubt that." 

"K?" He frowned, confused. "Clar?" 

"Now, get to bed." Checking to make sure my hand was clean, I nudged him inside. "Pleasant dreams, Chrom. And please, be happy." 

I shut the door behind him, and closed my eyes, fighting off the urge to cry. But I held it off and ran, as fast as I could. Through the halls of my home and past the guards. They didn't realize quite who I was, but they did see the blood. They shouted and tried to chase, but it was easy to knock them out and evade them. It was so very easy. I was the Holy Swordsman of Ylisse, the Demon of Blades, the Reaper of War. I had been the right hand of the Exalt, the commander of his armies. I was the strongest warrior of all Ylisse and, to save the world, I had killed my best friend. 

But, for the first time since this war began, my heart was light. I had finally, _finally_ , done the right thing. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: And here we go. Adair's death at last, done so that Clara could keep her promise to him, and Clara running into exile. This is also the last time Candace ever saw Clara, as Candace dies shortly after giving birth to Lissa according to game canon. Here, she dies due to health issues childbirth, not caught in time due to the low amount of healers thanks to the war. 
> 
> Next Chapter – Epilogue (this will be the only epilogue) 


	17. Epilogue - Sixteen Years Later

Epilogue – Sixteen Years Later 

* * *

Ylisstol was lively, a bit livelier than I expected. It had been a few years since I'd last been here, but there was a marked difference. Then again, this was the first 'real' celebration in a while, that wasn't a normal festival. Chrom was getting married, after all. 

I ducked through the halls of the palace, new cloak carefully tucked and pinned in place. I'd finally lost my old one or, rather, I gave it away to cover Emm's body and carry her to Ferox. I had hoped I'd get there before her death, but when I'd heard, I had actually been in Valm, disrupting some of the Grimleal's information networks there. I wished I hadn't left. I might've been able to save her, if I had. But then again, perhaps I couldn't. 

Shaking my head, I hid behind a statue, watching as a patrol passed. Part of me was annoyed, beyond annoyed even, that it was so easy to sneak into the palace during such an important occasion, but I had to remind myself that I knew this castle inside and out. I knew every secret passage, every secret room, thanks to my friendship with Adair. Of course, they should've been more on guard, but clearly, wedding festivities had addled them. If this was anything besides Chrom's wedding, I'd leave some sort of warning to make them behave, but I wouldn't mar his day. I was taking enough of a risk just sneaking in at all. 

When the guards passed, I continued on until I reached the room I wanted. Inside, Chrom's bride was getting ready alongside her bridesmaids, likely being driven mad by all the fuss. Candace had, and she normally liked this sort of thing. I waited until there was a great deal of laughter and shouting and crept inside, keeping to the shadows. As I expected, no one's attention was on the door, or vanity. Instead, it was in the back, where Kestrel had stepped into her wedding gown and had to deal with everyone cooing over how pretty she looked. Which she did. The little girl I'd spared had grown in a very beautiful woman. I could see a lot of Raven in her, from the way she held herself to the guilt that was almost unnoticeable unless you knew where to look. I couldn't believe I'd run into her after all these years. I couldn't believe that, of all the people Chrom would fall in love with, it would be her. 

Smiling softly, I set a small box on the vanity, tucking it under the wedding veil. It was my gift to her, a pair of earrings just as I'd bought Candace. I hesitated in buying anything, and hesitated even more at giving her earrings. But, in the end, I couldn't help it. I had to buy her a gift, for making Chrom so happy, and it became earrings, because they were easy to wear. So, I made sure it was hidden, checked to make sure I wasn't found, and then I darted out, hunting for my next destination. 

It was even easier to find, though it was harder to sneak there. Frederick, the little boy I'd saved from a wolf, patrolled the halls himself. Honestly, it surprised me just how many of Chrom's Shepherds were children I knew. It made me feel a little better about some, that in some tangential way, I really did help him. But, regardless, I had to wait until Frederick was distracted before ducking into the room where Chrom was getting ready. I had no gift for him, mostly because it had taken me so incredibly long to pick out one for Kestrel, but I had to at least check in on him. Every time I was in Ylisstol, I made sure to do this. This time, though, was the happiest I'd seen him since he was three years old. There was a sadness to him still, a tiredness, but he smiled freely and laughed warmly with Robin, the other Vessel, now Chrom's best friend and tactician. I had to smile at the sight, just thoroughly amused. 

"Chrom!" A new voice made me flatten myself against the wall, shifting until I was mostly hidden. "Chrom, you in here still?" A young girl rushed in, with flowers trailing in her wake because they fell from her braids. My heart panged when I realized this was Lissa, Adair and Candace's youngest, the child I never officially met. "There you are!" she huffed, scowling. She looked so much like Candace, even more than Emm, and I almost called out. But I bit my tongue in time. "Here! This got mixed up in Kestrel's things." 

"My cufflinks?" Chrom asked. He laughed and ruffled Lissa's hair. "Thanks. I'd just sent someone to look for them." 

"Figured." Lissa grinned and slapped him across the back. "Well, make sure you're ready! Kestrel almost is! No getting cold feet!" 

"Why would I get cold feet? This is one of the best days of my life." 

"Sappy." 

"No worse than those books you've been reading." 

"Hey!" 

"Is Kestrel doing okay?" Robin asked. He smiled softly at Chrom and Lissa, eyes quiet with their contentment. "She was nervous earlier." 

"Maribelle is chasing everyone out so that she has breathing space," Lissa explained. She giggled. "So, Sumia's putting on the finishing touches." 

"Like the flowers falling out of your hair?" 

"Huh?" Lissa's hand came up to her hair and she yelped. "Oh, man!" 

"Here, Lissa, I can fix it," Chrom volunteered. He tugged her over to a chair and carefully started undoing the braids. "It won't be as fancy, but it'll be serviceable." 

I wanted to listen a little more, but I instead used the distraction to duck out of the room and down the hall. I had to hide a few more times, but once I started heading for the crypts, there were no patrols. No one wanted to be near the dead during such a cheerful occasion, after all, and so, I relaxed, walking to two graves I knew so very well: Adair's and Candace's. 

"I'm still curious as to where this crack came from," I whispered, kneeling in front of Adair's. As always, there was a layer of dust, hinting to how few people visited. As always, I cleared it away, knowing that no one would know. "Ah, well. Hey, brother." I traced the letters of his grave, as if they'd be any different than before. "I wonder if you're able to explain everything to Emm now. Or do you remember anymore as a ghost?" I wondered if he remembered his death. At the time, I was certain he'd understood and forgiven me. Nowadays, I wasn't sure if it had been forgiveness or if he'd just been so shocked by what happened that he couldn't do anything but smile and laugh. "I'm still hanging in there. Still atoning. I never could take the easy way out." I sighed, and shook my head. "Why do I talk to these tombstones? It's not like I get an answer." 

I visited Candace's next, which wasn't quite as dusty as Adair's, but still showed signs of neglect. She'd died shortly after giving birth to Lissa, due to some sort of infection. Normally, a healer could find it fast, but the war had taken all the healers. In the end, the war had killed her too, and I wished, just as I always wished, that I had ended it sooner. But I hadn't, and that was why I atoned. 

The next grave I visited was Emm's, and my heart broke when I looked at it. The little girl I condemned… the little girl I loved so very dearly… she had deserved far better. A better life, a better death. But she had followed her chosen path with her head held high, and that was better than me. I left a flower on her grave, one I'd picked along the way and tucked away just for this. It didn't look out of place from the other offerings. Emm's grave was practically overflowing with flowers, after all. 

Bells ringing startled me, but after a moment, I realized they were the church bells, announcing the wedding's start. Part of me wanted to find some place to watch, but I had other things to do. I had to check the hidden shrine, and then I had to visit David's grave. So, instead, I left the crypts and snuck away, hiding in the crowd to not be noticed. 

I had no right to see any of this, but gods, I was glad I decided to anyway. I was so glad to see everyone happy, finally. 

* * *

"Welcome back!" Aderyn greeted me cheerfully, just as she always did. "Everything okay?" she asked, beaming at me. It never failed to amaze me just how much she liked me, even taking into account that I'd done my best to raise her while protecting Plegia and weakening the Grimleal. "Did Emmeryn's body make it back okay?" 

"It seems so," I replied. I looked around the village, as calm yet bustling as always. "How's Myranda?" 

"She's fine. She's grumbling that she has to cook for more than she expected, but you know she's happy about it." Aderyn giggled, and I had to soften, amused by it all too. Myranda always pretended to be grumpy with me, mostly because she couldn't quite forgive me for everything that happened, even as she acknowledged and respected me and my efforts. "She did say that if you stay away so long again, she'll find something to hit you over the head with again." 

"Gods, I hope not. I swear I still have the knot on my head." I studied Aderyn's face, and noticed she was a bit smugger than normal. "So, what happened? What did you do?" 

"What makes you think I've done anything?" 

"I've helped raise you for sixteen years. You think you can hide anything from Myranda and me?" 

"Ugh." She stuck her tongue out, but did take my hand and start leading me to our house. "Well, truthfully, I met Chrom!" 

"You did?" 

"Yeah, when he was trying to rescue Emmeryn." She giggled, skipping along the path and waving to our neighbors. They greeted her cheerfully, and gave me polite, but respectful, smiles. It was hard for them to forget the blood, but they could acknowledge I felt horrific about it, and let me raise Aderyn here with Myranda. That was enough. "I saw how he was careful to avoid people, and the like. So, I went to talk to him." 

"What name did you use?" 

"Melaina, of course. The rumors of my survival only recently died down enough for me to safely be out on my own." Her cheer faded at that. "There's a new king. Should I have…?" 

"No. If you revealed yourself now, the Grimleal would just assassinate you." It was frustrating, but until we could break the Grimleal, it wasn't safe for her to reclaim her throne. "I'm working on it." 

"I know. I just feel guilty, like I'm running away." She sighed gustily, but smiled at me. "Should be let the rumors surge again?" 

"They'll do that on their own. We'll let the gossips handle that." 

"Okay." She relaxed and nodded. "Oh, right, so Chrom. Nice fellow. Nothing like his dad." 

"Well, nothing like the Adair you know of." It pained me to know that I was the only one left who knew Adair as he had been. At this point, people had even forgotten that he hadn't jumped into war, that we had lost many messengers and he had been pressured into it. "But he does have a lot of Candace's personality. Must be because Emm raised him." 

"Maybe." Her smile grew. "I'd love to talk with him again. He took a Plegian for his wife, right? That pretty girl with red hair?" 

"He did. Her name is Kestrel." 

"And she's the twin sister to Chrom's tactician, Robin." Her eyes sparkled. "So, he'd be willing to listen, right? He seemed so before." 

"Making plans again?" 

"I have to make _some_ if I'm going to rule Plegia one day." We reached our house and she led the way inside without even a token knock. "Myranda! Clara's back!" 

"Oh, lovely, and I'm sure she's getting dust all over the floor I just cleaned," Myranda instantly complained, not bothering to step out of the kitchen to do so. Aderyn and I simply laughed. "Clara, there's a bath ready. Please minimize shedding, and clean up after." 

"Thanks, Myranda!" I called. I nudged Aderyn into the kitchen and went to my room, smiling when I saw that Myranda had also set out clean clothes for me to change into. But that smile faded as I went to my dresser and pulled open the topmost draw, shifting through the various bits of shirts and underwear and clothes until I found my most secret 'treasure'. I always had to check and make sure it was here, just in case. 

I pulled it out and held it into the light. As always, the gem flickered like it was filled with a dark flame, shifting between blacks and purples. In ancient times, it had been called the 'darksphere', corrupting those who tried to harness its power unless they had the mental fortitude to face their own shadows and flaws. Nowadays, it was known as the 'Sable' gem, needing to complete the Fire Emblem and allow the Awakening to take place. The Grimleal had plundered it long ago from Ylisse, to protect Grima. Ten years ago, I had stolen it from Plegia's vaults, using Aderyn's knowledge, and replaced it with a glass gem that mimicked the look enough. Now, I kept the real Sable safe, along with Aderyn, ready for when it was time to destroy the Grimleal once and for all. 

I tucked the Sable back into my drawer and undressed to jump into the bath. I'd change clothes and clean up before eating and catching up with Myranda and Aderyn. From there, I'd learn how things were going here, and decide the next plan of attack. It was what I'd done for sixteen years, and I'd do it for as long as it took. This was how I honored Adair's true memory, and honored Ylisse's legacy. This was how I atoned for all the deaths I caused and all the pain I inflicted. 

After all, no matter what anyone else thought, I was a knight of Ylisse, and I had waged a war to save the world. It was unprofessional to leave a job half-done. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: All right, so. Myranda is the name of the maid that ran off with Aderyn (she is unnamed in the chapter itself). Aderyn is 'Melaina', who made a cameo in _Shadows of the Shepherds_ during the desert interlude. 
> 
> This is the final chapter of _Shadows of the Exalt_ , and I thank you very much for reading it. If you enjoyed it, I recommend reading _Shadows of the Shepherds_ , since this story serves as a backstory to that one. If you're curious about distant backstory to this one (as in Marth's time), please read _Shadows of the Heirs_. 
> 
> Again, thank you so much for reading through this story. I hope you enjoyed. 


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